Alight, This wont be my normal entry. Usuaily I do a sparknotes recap on recent events in my life, but this time im not going to. Im not goint to rant and complain. This update will just be about how Ive been feeling the past 3 weeks. As for why Ive been feeling the way I have been, some of the reasons you will be able to figgure out, and others your may or may not understand. Those who read this and do understand the reasons behind everything are the ones who know too much.

Over all my feeling for these past weeks has been one of nothing. Now you may ask.. Wtf kinda of a feeling is that? Well, Nothing as in I stopped careing. I didnt care about anything or anyone really. From that feeling my "friends" could tell me things, my gf could complain (I love her though), my grand paraents could bitch... and I just didnt care. Most of anything they would say would go in one ear and out the other. Now, this was not to be cold.... but due to the fact that I had been fed up with everyone and had no more enegry to actuaily give a dam.

Sometimes durning my Nothing-ness period, Their were still some things that would bother me. Some things I just couldent ignore. That Brings me to my next feeling. Anger. As much as I can try to let things pass by, and not care about them. Their were still some things that just annoyed the hell outta me, and as they built up id get angery. In genral it takes alot to really make me mad, but these past weeks.. its taken hardely anything. Just because I was so tired of everything.. Hense the Not careing thing.

The last thing on my list is alone. Alone, how the hell could I be alone? Well Im not just talking about friends here, thou they are part of it. Alone because on all thats been going on Ive forgotton about God, and tried to handel everything my self... and now im in this mess of all these feelings. Since this past friday Ive been feeling alot better though. Im trying to get right w. God again even if it meens giveing up everything. At this point I dont want advice from my friends as much as I want spirtual support. With out it im scared that ill end up back where Ive been or worse...  The feelings above are how I WAS feeling but now Im feeling a bit better. All im asking is for support, and for you guys who have been draged into things over the past month or so please forgive me.

Currently Gaming Half-Life: Counter-Strike By Vivendi Universal see related

Yoooo, Whats up!?!

Ok ok alot of you are prob wonderin what the deal is w. the bday party thinger. Well heres the break down. It As of today it will be at Sam Wu's house on the 8th of Oct, Thats this comming saturday. Start time will be 6pm. It will be invite only, and Ill start sending out invites tomorrow, after I get home from work. Ill give more info when I send out invites... Ex what to bring, address, ect. Any OTHER questions please im me asap.

I want to thank everyone who gave me b-pday props and who took the time to eather call me or Im me to say happy b-day. You guys are awesome. I want to thank Katie for an Abit NV8 Motherboard, Ray and Suki for a blue Mx510, My dad for a black icematt 2nd Edition, my Grand rents for a new comp chair and logitech keaboard, as well as some spending moneys. =)

These past few days have been really good. I got to chill with Katie and Eunice and it was pretty cool. We went to fusion for a bit and watched the ppl there play truth or dare, and wow lol. So after fusion closed we drove arround and then went to this school by Eunices house. We walked arround w. a blanket for a while, and then laid on the pavement and looked up at the stars. Then we went into my car because we were like freezing. Then we started to play truth or dare also, but this light kept going on and off..... and we like got freaked out and drove a bit, and parked infront of some random persons house. I have to admit all tho it was kinda weird sitting infront of someones house, it was fun. Haha.

Yesterday got to chill with both dave and hunter for the 1st time in what seems like for ever. We went to fusion and chilled for a lil while. After that we went to pick up erica, who sat in my trunk with dave(yes I have a small car). After that we went to rugters for like no reason, and that was like boreing. By now it was like 3:30am and i was sleepy. So I took katie home, then suki, and last dave and hunter since hunter drove to my house. I got home at like 4:40ish... and i was sooo sleepy.

Today was my last day to relax and stuff before I start work again. I still feel kinda tired, but I know once I start working and get my blood flowing ill be fine. Dunken Doughnuts coffie makes everything better =D

Quote of the Week... Wendy: "What does 'JOY' stand for?" Katie: "Jesus Owns You!" <<<< Hahha, So true tho. =x

Also, Im working on a new layout for my xanga, It will be up soon I swareeee. lol =D

Well Thats all for now, if anyone has ne questions about the party please IM me or something asap.

Currently Listening Aenima By Tool see related

Yayay Im 19 now!! I feel soooo old. Happy B-day to meee!! Also Happy Bday to Eunice who’s 17 today!! Yay!!! XD Anyways…. Unfortunately my bday party will not be held at Jason’s this year T_T. I’m hopeing that Sam WuUuuuu, will be able to hook me up at his house…. And for those of you who have never seen Sam’s house… its like uber big… and pink XD. I may have to delay it a week tho.. because I haven’t even had time to send out invites, more details on that soon. As for the type, yes I want a lan party, but for those of you who aren’t losers, and have a life other then cs, their will be food and dancing. XD So If I invite you… you better come!!! Ill have a what to bring on the invite. Keep checking back here on my xanga for more info… or im me!! XD.

Anyways the past few days have been better then usual... and it looks for once in a long time things are going my way. First off, I got a new job at Best Buy!!! Yay!!! I’m happy hehe… Now I can pay off all my debt!! Then I can hopefully do the upgrades I want to do for my car, starting with a body and paint job, then cat back exhaust, and a kicking audio system… All that will cost about 3K… and will be my biggest investment to date other then my comp.

Yesterday was really cool tho. I got to meet Eunice and chill w. her and Katie. She had her mom call her like 3 times and like bitch her out, and the entire time she’s like sooo nice to her mom. I know I could have flipped out and had a cow, and I think most Asians would have also gotten pissed…. But she kept her cool…. And that gets her mad props, from me anyways. So we went to fusion and had bubble tea, and just chilled… she had to be home at 9.. even after 3+ phone calls from her mom. So I took her home, and now after watching some tv, Im here typing this out..OOOoooo One last thing.. Ill be overhauling my xanga soon!! That meens, new music, bg, and layout!!! So keep checking back!!

Well that’s it for now…. And since its my b-day Xanga entry can you leave me props as presents pleaseeee.. I want to feel wanted XD

Well well, only 10 days left and then its my bday! Yay. Ill be 19... so old. T_T. Anyways. Hopefuly ill be haveing a party at Jasons house if its ok w. him and his mom and dad. If approved it will be October 1st. Its invite only.. so if you want to come and I didnt ask you.. hit me up on AIM and ask me! Im only haveing 30ish ppl at the maxor so yeah, act fast =). As for what to get me, well Money is best being that I dont have a job right now, and im really broke. If you reallllly wanna get me something their are a few things that Id like but they are a bit pricey. Ill post them at the end of this entry.

As for working goes, well I got some hours at footlocker on Tue. and Wed. mornings. Hopefuly ill manage to get some more hours after that. I found out that all the stores had their hours cut by alot so its hard to get in. I applied to startbucks in hopes that ill be able to make some more money till I can find something beter. Money is money. Im going to try and get into best buy as a comp repair person after I take my hardware test. I have to find out where I can take it and when. The sooner the better.

I want to thank my friends for being there for me when ive been down, and for slapping some since into me. =) With out you guys to keep me in check sometimes I wonder where Id be. Thanks for looking out for me and just hearing me out. Out of all the people who clame to be a "friend" only a few of you really know me below the surface and below the core... Kinda like an ice burge. Most people only see whats above the water, less see whats below, and only a few can drill to the core.

Well I think Im about done w. this entry.. So if you really wanna give me something other then cash heres some ideas.. =) Btw.. Please no gift cards!!

Wireless FM Transmiter: $50

http://www.bestbuy.com/site/olspage.jsp?skuId=7274193&type=product&productCategoryId=pcmcat33100050012&id=1117178763859

Logitech Keaboard: $37

http://gear.gotfrag.com/?module=product&sku=L01-K01-ELITE

Thats really it... If you plan on getting me something from this list.. Tell me so I can take it off my xanga =P

leave me comments and props!! Peace out!!