Callen's right. I miss the good old days. Life after working for one and a half year feels very messed up. Gone are the days when you get time off from school to think and reflect. Gone are the days when a group of friends get to enjoy each other's company by sitting down and lazing the afternoon away. I really miss those days. NOSTALGIA. I remember reading about "nostalgia" back in the university when i took up the "film and history" module from History department. It stated that nostalgia used to a disease. It was a disease soldiers had. After being out at war for the longest time, soldiers begin to miss home. They begin to miss their family and friends; days when they were carefree as children. They start to vomit, do alot of funny funny things and become crazy after some time. Doctors tried to cure them with many many funny things too - they feel them earthworms, earth etc... With the hope that these soldiers will return to normal and continue to fight the wars. I didn't blog as often after i started working. One reason was i spend too much time at work and there really is nothing fun to blog about work. Sometimes i even consider my work to be confidential - so can't discuss much. Next thing was i also spend alot of time dating. So when you combine the two together - No time. This also meant i did not reflect and think about myself for the longest time. I feel tired. I like my job. You get to travel, fly around places and such. But it is really stressful and i am starting to feel its toil. Especially recently when i often feel "victimised" by a bitch a work. I feel this bitch screams at me and scold for the sake of doing so. Very irritating. And being the nice guy that I am, i prefer to keep quiet and tried bottle things up. I finally decided to talk to a senior at work, but didn't manage to relieve much of the pressure. Can you imagine when you are trying to get work done and this person whom you have no choice but to work with shouts at and ignores you? Very dulan and cannot do a thing. Almost every single thing you try to do that is related to her, you will be shouted and hurled abuses at. Everyone in the office accepts it as it is because its her style and she does her job well. Sighz... being the most junior become almost like a burden. And at home, there are many issues to be resolved. I am experiencing an entire paradigm shift with reference to family life. To me, it used to be that when you start working, its normal to start paying for the family bills and giving family allowances to my dad, mum and grandma. For the past year, it was ok and i had no problems doing so. However, recently, with plans to start my own family soon. I realised that what appears to be "normal" to me isn't really that normal after all. I found out that other people's families do not have the same family culture as mine. The parents of these people actually continue to take care of themselves and encourage the children to save up their money to start a family. So ends up these people can start a family alot earlier than me. I do not mean to be unfillial or anything like that. But it just feels that my family is not at all supportive of their children starting their own families. Even if we want to start a family, we still have to continue paying for our parents when all are still capable of taking care of themselves. This became my dillemma - i want to continue paying for everything my family needs and yet i also wish to start my own family. Which comes first? Very very tiring and many many problems coming up everyday. No solutions. Advice anyone? | 
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