it's been a really long time since i've been here... wierd.
and i dont even know what to say.
i've been sad lately. i dont know why... everything is really great in my life. curt and i are going great, i have friends again, i'm not in school...
the new star wars movie was fantastic. i think about it a lot... I WANT IT! i knew exactly what would happen in the movie. i've known for a long time... yet i still cried like a baby. lol
i guess i am scared. i have a lot of weight on my shoulders about what i am going to do. i dont know where i want to transfer to and that disappoints a lot of people in my family. my papa and dad especially. they are trying to make decisions for me and that upsets me. my dad especially. and he' s never been like that. he wont let me go to a cosmatology school. it's not good enough, or a trade school, i have to go to a big university to make him happy. the only thing is that i have a job that i like now, and in order to be full time at work and school, i will have to become an insomniac. he says just loose the job, but i cant. i wont have money if i do that. i cant let curt be the only income. it's not fair. he has done it long enough.
we have huge bills now and it sucks. he bought his mom's camaro (z28) and that's a whopping $550 a month. plus half utilities with his mom... $60/month and then cable- $60/month and then my cell phone- $40/month. we are actually paying more for this house then his mom. we took the camaro because she couldnt afford it, so she took the firebird and cut out over half of her payment. then i said i'd pay for the cable/internet because that would be my contrabution. then she said we have to pay half of the utilities. thats not fair... if i would have known she would do that i wouldnt have said id pay for the cable and shit. we now pay more than her.. so she goes out to eat all of the time without us now and we sit here living off of ramen noodles and pot pies because it's all we can afford. i feel very taken advatage of.
i tried to get curt to let us get our own apartment, but it was out of the question... he's such a momma's boy. not yet he says. i wish he would just take the firebird and we could go... he loves that camaro... i hate it.
now. do i want to be an art teacher or an elementary teacher??? that is what i have to decide within the next 2 weeks. that sucks. | 
