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| Just made a discovery. There is a possibility that I am recieving 1100 a semester instead of a week. That means....I have an extra $650 in my bank account. Hmm...PS3 or custom compy? I am split between the two....or maybe I should probably splurge and buy 650 candybars.
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| I have realized two things: it's hard as hell keeping things to yourself and you can have epiphanies in the weirdest of places. Needless to say, I'm kinda bummed.
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| Dum de dum. All by myself because everybody else is home making their costumes for the Halloween ball.Yes, Even Rae. I bought the social butterfly a ticket and even her mom is making her go. Hell just dropped 20 degrees. The curious thing is that she didn't seem to put up much of a struggle.
Well, I prolly would have gone home, too, but I already have my costume made. It was very easy since I'm gonna be Tenchi from.....yup...you guessed it.....Tenchi Muyo. Not much of a cosplay or costume...but at least I'll be prepared for the DDR contest. Hopefully I'll be good enough to at least make it a couple of rounds. I've had enough experience to at least have a chance now. There's also the fact that my parents got my bank statement and found out I've used 400 bucks of my money since I've been up here......DUH! IT WAS MY BOOK MONEY! But I'll never get mom to understand that. She just wants to bother me about money until I scream my lungs out. I think I'll wait another month.
While everybody's been gone, I had a House marathon. I have now seen 8 hours of consecutive 1st season House. Woot. Prolly watch some more tomorrow. I also did my laundry and ironed everything I owned. It is now 1 o'clock. That's alot of clothing. I guess the fact that Maryanne came over didn't help, lol. Played some Smash Bros. and watched a few episodes with her.
Tomorrow, more laundry and a field day at the gym. Need to work on my abs again. Almost there. Somehow, I've been able to stay in shape, despite the fact that this is a college where junk food is king and there is no time for any excercise whatsoever unless you skip classes or you count the mad dashes to class from your dorm on the other side of campus because your roommate turned off your alarm again.
Yeah, I thought I'd just randomly blog again, this time trying to keep a little more upbeat because I've noticed that I've had a string of emo posts. I only seem to find enough time to blog when I'm feeling depressed and this blog was here to make a little disclaimer: My life isn't as crappy as my blogs make it look. That is only one aspect of my life. Yes, relationships are pretty important to me, despite my lack of them, because it's not often I find a girl I like. I prolly wouldn't be so emo on here if I could actually talk to somebody in person and express my feelings. I can stand in front of 3,000 politicians and celebrities and make a speech on national television, but I can't talk to a friend. I guess I have trust issues. And because of that, I don't think I'm ever gonna get rid of my xanga. Everybody is on myspace and facebook now, so nobody every really reads this except for a few people, a majority of whom I don't even know personally. Just how I like it. I can be as reckless about my privacy as I want, and if by some freak chance somebody I know reads this then I'll get a little action in my life. A little drama. Hopefully not too much though.
Eh, until next time kiddies.
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| Gah, I've fallen for a girl again. I swore I had learned my lesson and I know that most likely the only thing that's gonna happen is that I'm gonna go through alot of hell and get hurt again. I know it but I can't help it. You spend a whole summer to yourself and you learn a few things. You grow and you realize your mistakes.....but I haven't learned apparently. I swore I wouldn't fall for her again. So why am I now? Because she's unusually nice to me? She was like that before, too. She actually invites me over sometimes and I don't even ask. That never happened before, but this hasn't been teh first time that I've mistaken an altruistic action for somebody liking me. Maybe she does. I have no idea. I'm afraid to ask. Hell, I don't even know HOW to ask. If she does, she's prolly been waiting for a while and she's prolly getting tired of waiting. She may have liked me and gotten over it by now. I don't know. God, I like her, but like all the other times for the past year or two, the person I like can only see me as a friend. I don't know what it is about me. People only seem to like me when I don't want to be around people. I get really pissed or depressed, and then somebody decides to be nice to me. Grah! She either likes me or she doesn't. I'm too afraid to find out, too afraid to get hurt again because the last time I went through with all this I went through so much pain. For all I know, my only opportunity could be passing me by. Fuck all this. I'll prolly get over it after a nice long walk. Works most of the time. If one of you reading this knows who I'm talking about and is thinking about sharing this with her, don't. If I want her to know, I'll tell her myself. Eventually I may muster up enough courage if I feel she DOES like me. Until then, don't try to solve my problems for me.
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| So...opened my presents today. Since it was a surprise birthday for my
dad, most people forgot it was my birthday. Either that or they didn't
know what to give me so they just gave me cash. For most people, that's
a good thing, but not for me. I never see a cent of it unless I sneak
it in my pocket. My mom asked if she could have all my birthday money
to pay the bills before I even started opening the presents. While I
opened the presents, she'd always ask if there was a card (because
cards have money). When there were cards, if there was money in it as
soon as I opened it. Sometimes she wouldn't even ask. She'd just say
"There's money in that one." She'd ask how much money I got before she
asked who it was from. Halfway through, she started asking where all
the money went because she put them all in one bag. She started
complaining about how she shouldn't have let it near the kids because
they probably stole it or how she should have put it in her purse. She
cared more about that money than what I got. Made me realy mad. I don't
even want to have a party next year. Gah, ok, done venting. Gonna take
a breather.
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