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| Well, work seems to have taken over most of my life. My last post was made just after I had taken a new job near the bay area (and unfortunately, just as my uncle passed away). With such a long commute, I have little time to do anything these days. Free time is a luxury I rarely get, and when it comes my way, I can think of a million things that are more important to me than writing a journal.
At the same time, I've been thinking more and more about returning to writing again on a regular basis. I've found myself walking around during lunch break, thinking up topics to write about. Unfortunately, by the time I get home, I am usually quite tired and not in the mood to do anything but rest and/or sleep.
While I'm going to make an effort to write more often, I make no commitments (how's that for dooming a project to failure?). Not that many people read this journal anyway... Actually, in many ways, that's part of the draw for me - having an outlet where a only a small number of friends read my entries. There's something to be said for obscurity.
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| Last week, my uncle Gerard (my only uncle on my mother's side) was found dead in his apartment by Jurgen, his boyfriend of over 20 years. Jurgen had gone to check on him after recieving a concerned phone call by Gerard's employer, stating that he had not shown up for work that day. When Jurgen entered the apartment, he found the apartment in dissaray (not at all like Gerard), and quickly found him lying dead on the floor. He had suffered a major heart attack, and had been alone and unable to send for help. I got the news while at work. Considering my father's somber tone, I figured he was going to inform me that my grandmother had passed away (being near death herself). Instead, it ended up being Gerard. It came as a shock to everyone in the family. No one expected this. Gerard had not even hit his sixtieth birthday yet, and nobody knew that he was at risk for heart attack. The last I talked to Gerard, it was over the phone, earlier this year. I had been hoping to bring Hyunhee and Stephanie over to France before too long, in order to have them meet that side of our family. Unfortunately, Hyunhee and Stephanie will now never know their great uncle. I will miss him. He was a good man. He was an even better uncle. | | |
| I quit my job on Friday. While there are plenty of things I could say about the situation, it's best to not go into detail. We've all heard way too many stories of people writing stuff about their company, employer, supervisor or coworker, and then having it come back to bite them in the rear. While there isn't much to really spew venom about, I'd rather just keep things out of the open. Anyway, the main reason I left is because I got a much better offer somewhere else. MUCH better. When the recruiter first described the job to me, I was so sure that I wouldn't get the job that I didn't stress out about the interviews. As a result, I was a lot less nervous and a lot more personable. When I finally got the word that they wanted to hire me, I was almost dumbfounded. However, since accepting the job and notifying my previous employer of my impending resignation, life has been an absolute train wreck. While the position was formally offered to me - and I've formally accepted - there is a certain condition that must be met in order to secure the position. I worked non-stop for a full week in order to fulfill that condition, and I've been waiting almost a week to find out if the result was good enough. I'm sorry, but at the moment I really can't go into any more detail than that. Since so much is riding on this job, I have gone absolutely nuts worrying about the final outcome. Hyunhee has reassured me that she is willing to accept whatever the outcome is, which helps me deal with the situation a little better, but I still can't avoid the pressure of having so much of our financial well-being rely on a big, fat question mark. Yes, maybe I'm being a little too paranoid and worrisome, but this is the windfall we've been waiting and praying for, and I can't afford to screw it up. Besides, if I were to screw this up, what is there left to fall back on? Not much. We've got enough money in the bank to pay our mortgage this month, but not much more. If I end up unemployed next week, we're in a real bind. Anyway, we should know by Monday. Expect another entry then. | | |
| Had my family over for Sunday dinner today. It's the first time we've hosted Sunday dinner at our place, and things were a bit chaotic. Five kids plus parents makes for quite a bit of mayhem when you don't have a very large downstairs. All said, it was good to have everyone over. Life seems to be getting more and more hectic for everyone these days, and when you're as occupied as some of us have been, it's easy to lose contact for a bit. Life just never seems to slow down. Whenever there is some respite in sight, it only lasts for a brief moment. Even getting a good night's sleep doesn't seem to rid me of the constant feeling of exhaustion. Today was an extreme case, though; I was fasting (Mormons fast for two meals once a month) and had no energy whatsoever. Stepping out into the blistering hot sun in order to take Stefi and her cousins to the park really did me in. I felt kind of guilty when dinner rolled around, because other than fixing brownies for dessert, I wasn't really much help. Luckily Hyunhee understood and I was able to get some rest when I wasn't taking care of Stefi. I've been trying to get into a regular jogging routine at least every other day. I usually do a mile and a half, which is about my limit right now. Hopefully I'll build up some decent endurance soon. I've also been thinking trying this in the morning instead of in the evening. Problem is, I am useless for at least the first half hour after waking up. Even after that, I still can't get myself off my duff to get out and get some morning exercise. It would probably help me to feel better during the day. That's the one thing about being a programmer - or any other typical desk job, for that matter. You have to be willing to attend to your health on a regular basis, because you sure as heck won't get any exercise on the job. That isn't to say that programming isn't a tiring job - some days after finishing up eight hours of programming, your brain just wants to shut down for a while. But that sure won't get you any exercise. And anyone who thinks that their health will magically take care of itself is only fooling themselves. I had that attitude for far too long, and while I'm relatively healthy compared to a lot of other people I know, my health is far from perfect. | | |
| I remember the first time I played System Shock 2. It was a bargain bin game that a friend of mine gave to me back in the late 90s. I remember I was playing Deus Ex at the time, and loving it. System Shock 2 was old by then, but I went ahead and popped it in the computer. I spent the next few days unable to tear myself away from the computer. The game genuinely creeped me out, but I found myself loving it. What's more, the ability for you to customize your character's abilities drastically changed the way you ended up playing the game. This was something previously unheard of in an FPS game, and would be one of the things that made Deus Ex such a classic and ground-breaking game. I prayed that Irrational Games, the studio responjsible for creating System Shock 2, would eventually create a sequel. While not a straight sequel, Bioshock has been called the "spiritual successor" to the System Shock games. and after playing the demo, it's got a lot of what made those games so great: the freakishly creepy atmosphere, great story, customizability... and it's a blast. Did I mention the graphics are incredible? Not only are they some of the best on the Xbox 360, but you have never seen water look so real as in Bioshock. I've played the (very generous and lengthy) demo twice now, and my appetite for this game has only gotten greater. I just wish I could afford it right now. Thank goodness for game rentals. | | |
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