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tattoo96
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Name: Joanna
Country: United States
State: New York
Gender: Female
Interests: music: evanescence, the used, my chemical romance, 3 doors down, switchfoot, etc. / obsessiveness: Buffy the Vampire Slayer characters (except for Buffy because she's wimpy), vampires, demons / i'm crazy and talk 2 myself a lot (hehehe)
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
AIM:  handsofblue91
Member Since:
5/21/2005
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| I need to repost this again (note i did not write this, but it's what i have been thinking)
I am trying to get by with it
But I have to admit
It has been bad lately
But I am not going to cut or take pills or take anything again
I try to keep self control
because I believe there is always 1 thing
that you "stay" for
even if you don't see it
and if you are not seeing it
you are not looking hard enough
and you need to stop worrying about the problem and concentrate on the solution
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| i can't believe i fucking did that
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| mom says i have to update this because it's too sad. *sigh*
let's see: i'm at my cousins in Long Island. it's like 100 degree weather every day!!!!! we go swimming a lot. my cousin Isabella (she's 5) calls me her sister. she's soooooooo cute. but i'm going home tomorrow. *tear* and then i have one day to pack before i go to camp. but!!!! i get the rest of the summer off (where my mom will attempt to make me clean my room).
umm........ i guess there's not much else. life is pretty boring. but i don't want to go back to school either. a lot of my friends just graduated. so i'm gonna have to spend weekends at their college. sounds like fun, right? it better be. lol.
BYE!!!!!!! | | |
| i don't know anything anymore. i don't even know who i am. and it hurts. i know what music i like and my favorite band because i live to listen to music. but that's all i know. wait... i know my favorite color. isn't that nice? i don't have friends either. yeah... they say they want to get together with me, but somehow i don't think they mean it. i mean they spend all this time with their other friends, but i get pushed in the corner.
i'm sick of this fucking life. i eat, sleep, and do what i'm told just so i can make everyone else happy. if it would make the world be happy i would kill myself. I DON'T HAVE A LIFE!!!!! IT'S MEANINGLESS!!!! do you get my drift??!! all i have is people who feel sorry for me. i don't know what to do anymore. it fucking tears me up inside just think about it.
they say poor girl when i have my hallucinations and they say that almost anyone has them, but i have more then that. i'm depressed and bipolar and i kinda have most of the other simptoms that go along with schizophrenia. so go ahead. feel sorry for me. just watch me suffer. because what i need right now is a friend.
don't mind me i'm just crying my eyes out. which means i must really feel something because a side affect of the anti-depressents is that i can't really cry. does that give you a hint?
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| sorry i haven't written in a while. i've been kinda depressed (but isn't everyone?). sooooooooooo fucking glad school is over. i can't wait until i can actually be myself. and i can't wait for the conference this summer. i get to see Adam, Kareem, and Chelsea!!!!!!!! i'm so freaking excited. wow, i'm really bipolar. lol. seriously.
dude, i totally dressed like a whore today. lol. my short camo/jean skirt with 2 tang tops overlapping (black and crimson, my 2 favorite colors). and it was totally against school rules and my homeroom teacher got upset. lol. but, a couple of days ago i had on this shirt that was like a corset in the front but the back was seethrew black lace. Melissa was all over me going "Joanna's naked!" i heart Mellissa. she was literally petting me. it's not like i really mind. we're both straight.
me and Melissa; dancing together; totally turns the kids in Visibillity on. 
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