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zenov
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Name: zenöv
Country: Singapore
Birthday: 11/17/1983
Gender: Male
Interests: sammi
PC Games
KTV
sammi
Sleeping
Gorging on food
sammi
Watch movies
Complain
sammi
Expertise: Push blame on others
Malu myself
Occupation: Student
Industry: Government
Message: message me
Member Since:
4/10/2004
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| Between A Caretaker & A Partner
I never know I could still be out of sorts after all these years of emotional numbess and social aloofness. Somehow, I just slipped out of conversations every now and then during the thurs outing. Perhaps it's the fact that something will be missing from my life that made me feel so lost.
Add on to the burden of making a difficult decision (will discuss in the future).
As a super-rationale person, I always see beyond pure infatuation and emotional calls. So what if the girl has a pretty face? Is she independent? Does she think like me (or in the very least, can think like me). Does she take love as a protocol or is love a mutual trust shared by 2 willing parties?
I witnessed how a friend quarrelled with her bf over an sms and I just wondered: Is that necessary?
I watched on cable about couples who called each other on the phone 20 times a day and I just wondered: Is that necessary?
I watched a drama that showed the girl who insisted the guy on giving up playing in a crucial national championship, where he was the team captain, just to meet her for a date to prove his love for her and I wondered: Is that necessary?
If a lasting relationship is a testament of the true love between 2 people, let's look at couples who lived with each other till a ripe old age.
The old man never insisted his wife to cook for him and the wife never insisted that the old man recite: I love you 3 times a day.
To them, to be able to live with each other for such a long time is a blessing. What more could they ask for?
But younger people do not possess the same enlightenment.
They demand from their so-called partners to express their so-called love in various superficial ways they called affection.
So what if the guy sms you till the late of the night while he holds another woman in arms?
So what if the guy calls you 20 times a day reciting from a list of questions he prepared?
So what if a guy gives up his career just to shower you with love and both of you end up living in the streets?
You don't claim a person as your boyfriend or girlfriend and try to take over their lives. Or in the same thoughts, you don't demand them to focus all their attention onto you. If living is as simple as being marooned on an island living on fruits plucked off the tree and water from a spring, then yes, you can submerge yourself in an everlasting bliss of physical affection.
Unfortunately, you'll most probably die first before you can say "I'm in love!" in this world.
What is Love? Apparently, my idea of a true love is different from the general population out there. While I seek a partner who will share my joys and woes, others seek a caretaker like a personal nanny. While I seek to construct a binary star system, others seek to be the centre of the universe.
道不同不相为谋。
祝：我们好聚好散。 | | |
| wanted to come and do an entry like... 2 hrs ago, but gana stuck in a phy qn and delayed. the qn was: find the distance from earth where gravity is zero between earth and moon. haiz... went thru the qn in JC, but all 4got liaoz. if 2 yrs ago, sure can solve one. stupid. aniwaes, asked a fren, he gave me the method, but i calculated wrongly and got a wrong ans, so insisted his method got prob. hehe... after dat realize my mistake. so malu. for his help, i gave him the ans to the last qn.
aniwaes, felt very sianz the whole day, even in cls. and amazingly, keith said the same thing. maybe it's cos i feel sian, so im not tokking to liven up the situation... =P cos usually, between EE and prog, will walk together, but i stayed back to ask qn. then later, after cls, din tok while walking to busstop. dat's y. usually, we'll tok and tok all the way...
then went to CL to study. but now i realize can't study at CL at nite, cos they switch off the aircon at 6. so by 7, it was sauna. by 8, it's microwave. by 9, ppl start to leave, in a hurry like me some more. stupid. those librarians wanted to go home earlier, dat's y. noticed those who left w me r guys. the gals r still holding out. haha... i tot i'm the only one more vulnerable to thernal energy cos of my blubber. still, when i went by law library, the aircon was still very strong! wow! law students more precious issit?
met ziwei on the way to library. kaoz... she shouted at me in public. make me feel so paiseh. no wonder her uncle walk away so fast w/o waiting for her. haha... act like dunno her. haha... great, she'll b coming round to tekan me liaoz... she very heng oso, cos i wanted to explore a new way up to CL, but the staircase was locked, so had to go the conventional way. stupid, y lock a staircase? aniwaes, was so bored, went to leave a tag at ziwei's blog. end up the tag dun show chi, so left a juz-as-spamly eng msg.
hmmm... resisted an ice-cream urge juz now, but still succumbed to dinner. ~yum~
EE mid-term result released. din fail, but was in the last 20%. shd i b happy? hope they wun rank by curve wor. like dis i sure die. well, the 2nd test's next wk. who noes? i'll strive for it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | | |
| new entry!!! missed out on this in the last one. came across some acts of folly our neighbours did.
"Mao Zedong conquered China and transformed it into the most populous communist country in the world.
Sun Yat Sen founded the Chinese Communist Party.
Charles Darwin was a Dutchman. The earth is shaped like a coconut.
Non-living things increase in size. Fishes have lungs for breathing.
No, these are not entries in a joke book but information found in textbooks used by Philippine public school students."
sometimes, it's ok to say dat there's no reason behind singapore's success.  which brings me to a tot earlier this wk: i enjoy hearing ppl saying s'pore is a small red dot. look, which red dots r worth the hassle of some big ppl to b mentioned? u dun hear impt ppl tokking abt pi sai u noe... they're actually ÄÃʯͷÔÒ×Ô¼ºµÄ½Å, emphasizing on our success instead  . then, straight across the river (wonder y they call it straits?  ):
"Concerns grew recently after the Inland Revenue Board declared that many Chinese non-profit groups that manage cemeteries for their members were no longer exempted from paying tax because they were involved in profit-making activities, such as selling land to non-members.
Such organisations, which operate more than 1,000 graveyards nationwide, acknowledge that profit-making activities are common, but insist the money gained is spent to improve cemetery services.
The authorities have so far demanded more than RXX1 million (S$444,000) in back taxes from several organisations. Others might have to pay about RXX100 million if the government taxes them, activists estimate."
wat do they want? wat do they want?  no, i'm not referring to any nationality, no... i'm a PEACE-LOVER, k... but there's this type of ppl in the world who forces themselves on others. u noe, when in pri sch, there'll b kids of bigger sizes who'll bully the smaller ones.  the shops w rules dat u can't browse the mags displayed (then display for wat?). and those who shoot u in the face or bomb u to shreds when u say NO to them (worst still, when u lend a helping hand. ppl, NEVA help others, cos when u do, u're trying to 'use ur culture to degrade other ppl's'). and these ppl who built on other ppl's property w/o permission (²»ÎÊ×ÔÈ¡±ãÊÇ͵) and the landlords who protested were gunned down & shelled, becos they were intimidating . then ppl demolished centuries-old artefacts in a land they conquered saying dat those monuments defy their norms, or they do dat juz to eliminate traces of the civilizations they've wiped out (and now archaeologists hafta spend so much efforts to recover the artefacts). now Non-Profit Organizations are actually making profits from sales of their assets and from donations from the public, 'claiming' to b using the funds for day-2-day maintenance. then macdonald's changing its golden arches cos some herbivores complained abt it. seems like one party wants to remove the other and the defendant is staying put. aniwaes, perhaps we'll see on news next dat the activists for shark conservation r actually ppl who wants to save the sharks fins for themselves.  OUCH! wat's the world coming to? i wonder if someone will complain abt me for this passage?  no pls, i'm very cute and innocent u noe...   | | |
| Went thru some of the nicest and worst things in the past 24hrs. Good things first, i slept for 11 hrs from 8pm last nite to 7am this morning. intended to wake up in the middle of the nite to study, but found the bed too irresistable and continued well into morning, and i woke up feeling very satisfied indeed. Then had a date w 2 pretty ladies ofrom my childhood at the new eatery at YIH. had salad and cdalamari, very contrasting indeed! went to gym also, the first exercise after my swim regime ended last mth. hehe... but found myself too weak liaoz. tried wts i used the first time i went to gym 3 yrs ago and found myself 'dissoloving into thin air'. hmmm... looks like i WAS fitter in JC... then went on the bike for cardio. yar... i noe i can't run, so dun wanna malu myself. end up still malu myself, giving up after 10 min of pedalling. looks like i hafta tune down the difficulty the next time i'm there. met png kah hock at the gym office oso. neva tot would meet anyone i knew there. dinno he was working there too. if he's working as a clerk, it's too sad for a poly grad. the office sure looked forsaken...
and to the bad parts. received a mail from nus dat said my tuition fees was in arrears! i was so indignant and went to print out the receipt i saved after i did the transaction. then i realized i could haf transferred the money to the wrong recipient. And i was rite man! sent to nus society instead. called ocbc and the nice lady told me i hafta get the money back personally. so i tot i'd go down to finance office and pretend i din realize anything and hope dat they will do the shit work for me. aiyah... the guy was so nice, wanted to help me solve it, but this hag gave me a no and told me to go after the money myself. still, i managed to get her waive my late fees. then called the guy at nuss and all went well... seemed like many ppl sent their fees there, cos the moment i mentioned tuition fees, he finished my sentence. and i juz need to send in a written notice and collect the cheque at their office in KRGH. dunno who told me their office in suntec leh...
then some other small things, like after meeting jan & ziwei, went to eat more stuff at pgp canteen. haha... very guilty leh, so decided not to attend the ice-cream buffet at the student's lounge tonite. then went down to georgie's to buy mineral water (the cause itself is bad oso, cos i was supposed to buy it on my way back) and malued myself at the cashier's. after dat told myself muz be alert, like noticing wat is actually behind the windows along the sidewalks when i walked into a pillar. SHUCKS! so many ppl some more...
oh... one more gd thing: after going to finance office, went to library, but couldn't resist the urge for lunch, so diverted to arts canteen while calling for CL to psycho me back to proper matters. CL pang seh me!!!then i walked past the booth for ÐÄÇéÈܼÁ. hey! i was tokking abt it w ziwei juz days ago! and dat guy saw thru my enthusiasm and stopped me and psychoed me even more. so much so dat i couldn't settle down in library. oh yar, found the canteen too crowded and returned to CL. then found the best partner for XQRJ, even tho he pang seh me on Synapse. still, he's the only fren i noe who's musically inclined. aniwaes, he was enthu abt it oso, tho his interest isn't in the CASH prize like me, but said he finds it challenging. hmmm... i'm oso wondering how long his interest will last. haha... in a bid to get him over to my side, told him i'm confident in my lyrics, juz lack the music talent, and he really bought it. alamak, maybe he really tink it's a puny event, dat i really stand some chance to win something. oh... so i've set the 2 lyrics i put up on 'protected'. the rules said no publications of the entries. ha... so it's obvious wat i'm sending in lah...
back to room, can't start on work. haiz... this wk's tutorial too hard, i can't solve a single qn. this is bad. dat's the thing. the drive last wk is wearing off. cant focus this wk. how??? | | |
| Handome boy in axn again! hehe... always took pix after i washed my hair, cos it's the time when my hair is the most 'obedient'... haha... realized something? i look slimmer rite? the power of technology...
 
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