There were signs she was withering away.  She looked fluffy and cold all the time.  She slept a lot day and night.  She slumped down, shrinking into a tiny fluffball.  I could tell she has been constipated too.  Her last days must not have been too pleasant.  

The average life for a parakeet is around 7-12 years.  Kanye has been with me for almost 8 years, with many laughs and happy memories.  She was just plain adorable and couldn't resist taking her home.  Look at that little green tummy and big round eyes.  I won't ever forget how she would watch "What Not to Wear" with me.  She was so precious to me.  She was always such a well-behaved pet.  She would often regulate on the misbehaving roommate of hers.  Call me crazy but I talk to my pets.  I always say "Good morning" to them.  And Kanye always replied back.  

Once I stubbed my toe on the leg of the couch, and she chirped with concern.  *LOL*  I know she loves me.  I had this huge 5x7 framed photo of them that was beyond life size on my desk at work.  To be fair, I stuck a photo of me next to their cage.  The first time Kanye saw it, she turned around to study it for a while.  It was the most darling thing I've ever seen.  Awww...my baby loves me.

This morning, I noticed flapping noises.  When I went to investigate, I saw she was struggling to cling onto the side of the cage.  When she tried to fly onto the perch, she really struggled, like she didn't have control of her muscles.  Even trying to climb up was difficult.  As she clung to the bars, her eyes closed briefly.  It was obvious that she was exhausted.  She gave up and just sat on the bottom.  I knew she won't be with me any longer.  

I lingered at sis' because I didn't want to come home to see Kanye's lifeless body.  I looked for her when I entered the room.  Nope, don't see her.  This can't be good.  As I approached their cage, I saw that the other bird was STANDING on top of her body!  WHAT?  Is he cannibalizing her?  I shoo'ed him away to grab some gloves to take out Kanye.  He was standing on her again.  He was a bully until the end.  He never left her alone since I got him last year to replace another bird that died.

Well, I don't have any plans to replace Kanye because she's irreplaceable.  Plus, I don't want to give Nicki another girl to torment.  His solitary confinement will be his punishment.

There aren't many embarrassing personal stories I have to tell; however, there's one that was publicly humiliating that I have difficulty shaking.

When I first moved out after college, my then-boyfriend and I spent a lot of time together.  He always seem to be at my new place.  (It was a second floor unit in an apartment complex, facing the parking lot.)  And whenever we're together, it doesn't take more than 10 minutes before the clothes start to fly everywhere.  It was a passionate relationship.

One evening when he arrived, he was particularly panicked.  He said he could see my shadow against my closed blinds.  UHHH...that means all our intimate moments were projected across the large window for all to see.  Neighbors across the parking lot.  Drivers coming in and out of the gated community.  Pedestrians walking to and from the clubhouse.

For some reason, he was a lot more freaked out than I was.  And I lived there!  So kiddies, be sure to place your light sources next to the window and not behind you.  Not everyone wants to see your naughty shadow puppets.  Unless you're a closet exhibitionist...

It doesn't surprise me that someone from my past would suddenly appear out of nowhere.  He requested to add me to his gchat again.  I didn't hesitate to accept.  He was the guy I had last gone out with...the one I had mentioned in my previous post.  We had started seeing each other when I received the bad news about my sister's health.  Long story short, I had unwittingly pushed him away.

He was back...as of last Wednesday.  Out of all the people on OKC, he had found my profile.  According to our answers to the questionnaires, we were 95% match, 80% friend, and 0% enemy.  Maybe it's pure coincidence.  How much can anyone even buy into that?  But I can say I'm rather amused.

Anyway, I initiated contact.  I was curious what his intentions were.

"I see you've found my OKC page. Hope you're doing well..."

"I'm doing pretty good actually. I just hope you're doing well, I know you're probably still dealing with a lot. Sorry I kinda bailed on you during a really difficult time. Good luck with everything."

"I'm doing well also. I know at the time you tried to get me out of my shell but I had my wall up. What else is anyone to do but give up? It was bad timing. I'm sorry I was so cold."

"Don't feel sorry at all, you had a lot to deal with. How is everything actually? How's your sister and the kids?"

"I know but you didn't deserve that. I remembered that you were very supportive but it was something I had to resolve on my own and I wasn't too good at communicating that. I realized that too late. 

My sis has been doing chemo since then. In fact, I'm taking her to get MRI and CT scans tomorrow. The Stanford doctors seem pretty optimistic. It helps me appreciate her more. We're planning a trip to Maui later this year =) Can't wait! Our family is a lot closer now and everyone's rallying around my sis. 

The kids are getting big. I took the older kids to Davis for Picnic day last weekend. Thanks for asking about my family. How are things with you?"

"That's really good to hear! I actually was thinking about it pretty often, and wondered how your sister was doing. 

I'm pretty good, although I did just become single as of about a week ago, but it's for the better for both sides. 

Not much else with me, just working for the same company. I did buy that house that I must have mentioned near the last time I talked to you. I know you probably sleep soon, so I'll send you a message on gchat tomorrow." 

Since we didn't see each other but 2-3 months back towards the end of 2011, I didn't know I had left such an impression on him...or was it my unusual situation.  I don't exactly know yet why he contacted me again, whether to rebound from his breakup, to develop a platonic friendship, or to give us a second chance.  (Apparently, it's his bday today.  He's 6 months my junior.)  I thought it was funny how he caught me up with what had happened since we've last kept in contact...

After the initial awkwardness from OKC, we were like old friends.  I will see how things go and remain open-minded.  If he wants to start over, I will give it my best.  He will finally see the warm side to me...sweet, affectionate, considerate, passionate...