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| .im so in love with you.
i dont know what i would do without you in my life.
thats all i have to say.
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| an unwritten story only i could write.so much has happened,
so much is happening.
im moving on soon.
the year is half over,
by this time next year i'll be drving back from KU happy to be home for the holidays.
i hate crying.
i hate being unappreciated.
but more than anything, i hate being alone.
i hate being able to think about things, over and over.
i hate being told what to do.
i hate always making the wrong decision.
i hate being so powerless.
i hate letting people walk all over me.
i dont know what has happened.
it feels like i have nothing in me,
but so much left to give.
i want to be free, i want to be happy.
but i tell myself that i am happy.
i feel like i dont even know what happiness is.
the most important people to me, dont care,
the less important people care even less.
i used to think i had it all together,
but i ended up taking a few wrong turns,
my personality went down the drain,
and i end up here.
and you know what sucks even more?
feeling like you aren't the only one.
that hurts.
and i hurt. worse than anyone knows.
i try to make people understand, but its absolutely impossible.
everyone is so oblivious.
i am even guilty.
but im too weak, forgiving,
and apparently i have too low of self esteem,
to realize when things need to change.
what i have realized,
is that i do not do so well with change.
and im scared for things to be different.
well, the new year is coming,
things are going to change, and im going to have to deal with it.
i dont know if im ready to handle it,
but im going to have to.
its really time for me to grow up.
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| .i love you.
i dont know how to explain it.
these last few days have been so emotionally draining for me,
but i want to fix it.
i know we can fix us.
we can be happy again.
i want us to be happy again.
i want you to realize that you do want to be in a relationship with me.
you're the only one i want.
i care about you so much.
and you mean everything to me.
i hope you'll realize that giving us another chance is worth it.
im going to make it work.
no more fighting.
no more jealousy.
no more crying.
just smiles and good times like how we used to be.
i promise.
im finding my stability.
i dont know what i would do without you.
i really mean it this time.
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| i hope you know that this has nothing to do with you.as much as i want to,
im not going to cry.
im not going to regret.
people make mistakes,
and lessons have to be learned.
i really have learned,
the hard way.
im not perfect in any way.
i lie,
i talk,
i need more self control in my life.
im working on it.
'old habits die hard' they say.
i never thought id have a habit.
ive promised myself and others i will change.
mostly for myself.
i want to be happy ,
with who i will become.
im almost an adult,
and i feel like ive grown so much from what i used to be.
i know how to take responsibility,
i know how to take the blame.
i just know that i will be ready to leave.
i know now theres more to life ,
than getting drunk or getting high.
i realize that i can be just as happy sober.
i hate what ive done.
its not just that,
its my decisions in general.
everything happens for a reason.
'im sorry' doesnt make everything better anymore.
crying doesnt make the problems go away.
there has to be rain, for sunshine.
there has to be hurt, for happiness.
its hard to care,
and hard to love,
when i feel like shit all the time.
i hope you get everything you've ever hoped for.
the memory of me will eventually fade.
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| baby, look at us.3 more days until summer.
3 more days until i am no longer a junior,
but a senior.
3 more days until i can achieve maximum happiness.
seriously.
my only goals for this summer are to make money,
lose weight,
and have the best summer ever.
and only i really mean it.
For all the times that we, we ever were to be
Look at us baby, look at us now
For every day that I should have you by my side
We'll make it baby, look at us now
For every night I pray I know that you will stay
Look at us baby, look at us now
Remembering the time our love was not so fine
We made it baby, look at us now, baby look at us
Everybody believed we would never be
Look at us up above, we are so in love
Everyday in your arms, baby, can't go wrong
We are strong, look at us now
For all the times that we, we ever were to be
Look at us baby, look at us now
For every day that I should have you by my side
We'll make it baby, look at us now
For every night I pray I know that you will stay
Look at us baby, look at us now
Remembering the time our love was not so fine
We made it baby, look at us now, baby look at us
Baby look at us
Everybody believed we would never be
Look at us up above, we are so in love
Everyday in your arms, baby, can't go wrong
We are strong, look at us now
For every night I dream, together you and me
Look at us baby, look at us now
And like a flower bloom, the glowing of the moon
We'll make it baby, look at us now
Though everyone believe that we could never be
Look at us baby, look at us now
Now all the hurt is gone, I knew it all along
We'd make it baby, look at us now
Baby look at us
For every night I dream
Baby look at us
For every night I dream, the more I do believe
Look at us baby, look at us now
A bird up in the sky, our love will not deny
We'll make it baby, look at us now
In all you ever do, I know you will be true
Look at us baby, look at us now
The story of our kind is one to never die
We'll make it baby, look at us now
Baby look at us
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scream me something beautiful...
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