hsingmomma's Xanga

Carter and Nathan

Sun, 06 Jul 2008 22:28:39 GMT

So I think that so far, Nathan looks the most like Carter. They have the same exact mouth, and neither has/had any eyelashes or eyebrows to speak of when they were born, whereas Audri and Eli had darker, thicker hair and big, thick eyelashes (both still do). Nathan does have a rounder face/head though, more like Audri and Eli had. Here are 2 pictures of Carter around a few days old, like Nathan is now:

And Nathan-

What do you think?

I also think Carter and Nathan have a special bond. Whenever Carter holds Nathan or talks to him, Nathan looks right at him. It's been this way since his first day of life (you can see in the picture of the 2 of them I posted that was taken that first day). It's really sweet. Here are a few pictures of them I took today-

We took Nathan to the park for the first time today. He slept in his stroller the whole time so it wasn't very exciting, but of course you want to see a picture of that too, right? Of course you do.

Here is a picture of my other baby at the park today...

He had fun throwing sticks into the water.

So like I've probably mentioned, my other baby (m.o.b.?) has been having a very difficult time transitioning to having to share mommy's attention. Which means he's been ~~tormenting~~ ~~harrassing~~ giving mommy a very hard time. He wants to nurse constantly, and attacks me anytime I sit down. I've been trying to give him lots of cuddles and still nurse him a couple times a day, but this morning he was mad when I put him down, so he knocked over a full glass of water, all over the laptop. Thank God it wasn't ruined. Then he went into the kitchen where he threw his sippy cup full of water all over the floor making him trip and fall, which made him continue screaming while I was trying to make lunch for the kids, which then sent me into a ~~nervous breakdown~~ few moments of needing to collect myself. It's been one big ~~chaotic mess~~ party around here, let me tell you!

After Eli's many blow-ups this morning, Big Daddy came in and picked up my sobbing, sorry mess off the kitchen floor and reminded me that it's just been a hard transition for Eli, and he'll adjust after awhile. I understand that, and expected that, but just didn't realize how draining it would be on me, physically and emotionally.

Hey, we're all doing the best we can. And to quote a line from one of my favorite movies: "what if this is as good as it gets?"

New pictures

Sat, 05 Jul 2008 12:30:04 GMT

These were all taken yesterday.

I love newborn sleeping pictures

You can see that he's got some jaundice. I was expecting this, as all of my babies have had it for their first couple weeks. It doesn't seem to be making him too sleepy, but I'm being extra vigilant about nursing and we're also taking him out in the sunshine for bits of time. I was pumping and giving him pumped milk after each nursing, but I was getting a lot of milk already and yesterday he got overfull and vomitted like I have never seen a newborn vomit, so I decided to cut back on the pumping for the time being, until he gets used to my milk supply. I think his tummy was still kindof irritated from the quick birth, he seems to feel much better now.

He is so calm and content. He truly is like a perfect little angel, I am so very thankful.

Thank You

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 01:35:55 GMT

Thank you all for the kind comments and congratulations.

Nathan is such a sweet, calm baby. He's maybe fussed a couple times, but that's about it. Gosh, I am so thankful. He looks a lot like Carter did: really small features and bald eyes. Audri and Carter both had lots of hair, full lips and really thick eyelashes (and still do!) while Carter and now Nathan have smaller features and very fine, almost invisible eyelashes. I had a feeling he would look more like Carter since Audri and Eli have always looked so similiar! So far he has a perfectly round little head, but he has the deep ridges in his skull like Carter did, so I'm wondering if that means he'll have a really big head like Carter does.

It's so fun to see how differently each one looks, while also noticing the similiarities between siblings. Each one is such a miracle, having a new baby never gets old.

I'm feeling okay. Not great, not horrible. I'm having the hardest time staying on top of everyone's needs, and that is really stressing me out. I know I'm not nearly recovered from the birth, and I'm torn between wanting to lay around and rest, and needing to keep up with everything going on around here. There really is no option, I cannot let things go any longer. Audri and Eli have been having the hardest time- Audri really slipped back into her bad attitude while ~~the drill sargeant~~ mommy was away, and Eli is having a hard time not having my undivided attention as the baby anymore. He clamors for me and really wants to keep nursing, but I've been so worn out that it's difficult to think of nursing him as often as he'd like, along with Nathan. He climbs all over me, which was once endearing, but now it's seriously stressing me out. I've nursed them both a couple times, but for the most part I'm needing to scale back on nursing Eli. I'm so sad seeing him struggle so much, but I don't know how to be everything, to everybody. I'm really trying to give him as much of myself as I possibly can. This is definitely the hardest adjustment I'm dealing with- figuring out how to meet everyone's needs while I'm still so burnt out myself.

It's so easy to say just rest and take it easy, and maybe in hindsight I'll wish I did more of that, but when you're in the trenches you've just got to deal with whatever is thrown your way. I can barely speak to my mom right now because she just gets on the phone and goes on and on with lectures and orders about how I need to take better care of myself, etc. She wants to come visit, but I'm not sure I'll be able to deal with her well meaning "advice" in my face constantly, and the added general stress of having her here.

Anyway, I'll stop complaining now. Nathan is such an angel, and I'm absolutely loving getting a nursing relationship established with him. He's getting really good and my colostrum/milk is starting to increase! This part is always so fun for me. I love pumping, I love nursing, I love being the one to nourish their tiny, fragile bodies and watch them grow on my milk. It's an amazing thing. I'm very thankful for him, and just wish I had more time and energy to devote only to him, so I can get to know just who he is. That will come, I know.

Well he's munching on his fingers and acting hungry again, so I better go. I'll post new pictures soon.

Nathan Isaac

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 17:38:08 GMT

There was no need for an induction because I went into labor on my own about 4 hours before I was scheduled for the amniocentesis. I realized at 4am something was probably going on, and fast. We woke the kids up around 4:30 and took them to the hospital because I knew we didn't have time to drive them to my sister's house. We arrived at the hospital at around 5am. My sister met us at the hospital, where she took the kids back to her house so her husband could watch them, and she met us back at the hospital right before I started pushing. Nathan was born after a very intense hour, lol, at 5:56am on July 1st, 2008.

He was my biggest baby yet, at 7 pounds even. He looked like such a tiny little peanut, I was shocked when they weighed him (twice!) and it showed 7 pounds. Well, technically the scale said 6 pounds, 15.9 ounces but it fluctuated between that and 7 pounds, so I'm rounding up .1 ounce. He was 19.5 inches long. I broke blood vessels all over my face from pushing him out. At first I thought I had contracted some kind of facial rash, until I looked closer and realized they were broken blood vessels. I pushed for less than 5 minutes, but no tearing! God was really with us through the whole process. My midwife asked straightaway what I wanted for the pain, but the main thing I wanted was anti-nausea medication so I didn't feel nauseous/throw up the rest of my labor like I normally do. Nausea is not a fun sensation to add to all the other wonderful sensations occuring during labor. They gave me some of that, and some fentonel in my IV (that did nothing for the pain, BTW) but I didn't have an epidural. So does that count as a natural birth? What is fentonel anyway?

Nathan grunted for about 6 hours after birth, most likely because of how quickly the delivery went. They took him to the NICU around 8:30am, and at 10:30am the Dr. came up and said he thought for sure he would be admitted after the initial 4 hour observation period, because he was grunting constantly. There was nothing else wrong, his color was perfect, his O2 stats were perfect, everything was perfect but he would not stop grunting. After a lot of prayer we went back down to see how he was doing at 11am- no more grunting!! He was back in my room with me by 1:30pm and we just arrived home about an hour ago, after 30 hours in the hospital. Whew!! It was a rough night last night, his tummy was bothering him because of the amniotic fluid/gassiness and he's been wanting to nurse every hour since yesterday evening so I didn't get much sleep. But he seems to be settled down and content now, and I don't mind nursing him constantly. Hopefully my milk will come in soon.

I'm glad to be home but scared half to death. The full responsibility of having 4 kids has hit me. When we came home with Eli, our third, my first thought was "there are kids everywhere" and we just laughed about it. Having 3 kids never seemed scary or unmanageable. Now, coming home with our fourth, my first thought was "how the crap are we going to handle this, and what was God thinking trusting us with all these kids?!?!"

But I know somehow it will all work out. Looking at my newest little angel, I feel very blessed. Unworthy, but blessed. Ready for some pictures??

This is a picture of a woman in complete and utter misery. This was taken about 45 minutes before he was born, and I was ass-deep in transition at this point. I basically stayed frozen in this position until it came time to push. The main reason I didn't even think about getting an epidural was because there was no way I was going to move one muscle, and getting an epidural would mean I had to sit up. I could barely make a fist for the nurse (who had to keep poking me for about 20 minutes to get a vein )

But look, the pain was more than worth it...Nathan Isaac

Proud Daddy

This was Eli's reaction when he saw his new brother for the first time (in the NICU)

In the NICU-

Back in the room with mama-

Audri and Carter holding baby brother for the first time...

These I just took today (day 2)...

And this is why I was able to write this blog entry....(he liked his carseat, he slept in it for about an hour after we got home from the hospital)

So there is our newest little blessing. Thank you God.

All's well that ends well....

Tue, 01 Jul 2008 01:02:18 GMT

If everything goes as planned I will be holding my newest little blessing within the next 48 hours. I have been 5cm for almost a week and am miserable. The pelvic pain is almost too much to bear, then yesterday I slipped in the kitchen, and my legs splayed out under me and it has felt ever since that my pubic bone has completely ripped in half. I thought it was bad before, I can barely move now. I spent a couple hours on the L&D floor in the middle of the night last night, because I was in so much pain and could not sleep. My Dr. was paged when I got there, but she went back to sleep and they had to page her again 1.5 hours later. She finally came in and pulled on my leg a little and told me I was fine. I could barely walk to the car, then woke up this morning in excruciating pain. Chad has had to help me lift my legs and walk around.

I called my former midwife, and she saw me today. I cried and begged her to put me out of my misery. She checked me, I am now 6cm with a bulging bag, and she said that since it can be dangerous to walk around like this while the baby is still high in my pelvis (he's been moving up and down, apparently), she scheduled me for an amniocentesis tomorrow morning at 8am. As long as it shows baby's lungs are mature (PLEASE GOD) I will be induced sometime tomorrow afternoon.

Can I just say, praise the Lord??? It's funny, because all along I have been planning my perfect homebirth, where everything goes peacefully and smoothly, and I've been totally adament about not having any interventions and not having anything to do with a hospital birth. Even as of last week. I spent most of last week planning and preparing for my imminent homebirth. Now I'm signing up to be hooked up to monitors and induced and stuck and pricked and bossed around. Ugh. It's amazing what a good dose of extreme pain and some emotional and physical fatigue will do to your plans (and your pride).

God has taught me so very much through this pregnancy, and I'm very thankful. Being a mother is definitely sanctifying. I still have a long ways to go, but carrying and raising these little ones is a daily journey that stretches and molds me in so many ways. It's the hardest, most blessed thing I've ever done.

I'm thankful for these last few hours of carrying this little one within. I wanted this for so long, very soon after Eli was born I knew there was another little one waiting for us, and I've been wanting him ever since. Even with all the pain and drama I've been through during this pregnancy, I know I'll miss it when it's over. I sure can't wait to look at and hold this little guy though.

Still here at 35w4d...

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 01:26:45 GMT

Who knew I could walk around at 4-5 cm for days?? I had no idea that was possible. I always thought 4-5 cm meant you were in active labor. So much for that!

Last night was better than the night before. I woke up with menstrual-like cramping but no stomach/intestinal weirdness which is good. I'm still feeling very bloated, but my stomach hasn't been bothering me. Let's see....what other overly graphic, completely unnecessary details can I share?

I've been contracting semi-regularly for the first time in awhile tonight, and I've had a couple decent ones. For awhile I was contracting every 3-5 minutes but now it's probably every 10-15 minutes so I seriously doubt it means anything. I've been soooo tired today. That's been on and off for at least 10 days or so now. I could probably sleep 16 hours a day most days now.

The waiting is the hardest part!!!

Thank you

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 17:06:32 GMT

Thanks for the well wishes and prayers. I was up for a couple hours last night with the WORST heartburn/nausea/intestinal weirdness. I still have the yucky heartburn and diarrhea today. I'm hoping this has something to do with labor, but I doubt it. Does anybody know? Either way, I went out and bought some Mylanta.

I don't seem to have contractions when sitting, but they start up when I'm walking around or moving. Nothing regular. Who knows when this is going to happen. It could still be another 2 weeks or more since my contractions still aren't coming regularly, although I hope not. I feel like crap right now.

Hopefully soon my baby will be here. I really want to enjoy every minute of being pregnant, but these last few weeks are very difficult to enjoy.

Labor update

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 01:23:49 GMT

OK, so I'm technically not in labor yet, but I'm halfway to fully dilated! We went to the park and I wanted to walk around the park since it was so nice out and I was feeling like I needed some exercise (I think it's a .5 mile) and I was going to go around a second time, but Chad told me to sit down and rest. I started feeling really funky and crampy, and the baby seemed REALLY low. I kept contracting off and on, and decided to go into L&D with every intention of getting the helloutta there as fast as possible. I just really wanted to know if I was suddenly 6 or 9 cm, which seems to be my labor pattern. I dilate quickly.

Thankfully I was able to get checked right away, and am now 4-5cm, 60% effaced with a "bulging bag." 2 days ago at my appointment I was 3-4cm. My Dr. wanted me to stay an hour and be checked again, and after an hour I was still the same, so I was able to go home.

So now I'm home!

I'm expecting it to still be another 2+ weeks, but I'm suddenly feeling freaked about labor. My labors are so fast and furious, and I get so sick....and they happen so fast....and furiously....and I'm just scared. My placenta tore off last time, most likely from the force of my labor. I'm just scared. Please say a prayer for baby and I if you think of it. Thank you.

Random pictures. Because I can.

Wed, 25 Jun 2008 17:35:56 GMT

So here is my busy baby boy. This is what most pictures I take of him end up looking like:

Running through the house. We have a great house for running in circles. 2 openings from the living room into the kitchen, so he likes running in one door, through the kitchen, and out the other.

Have I mentioned before how completely in love with him I am?

Happy girl (ignore food on her face)

We finally got her hair cut! I had to go through a period of mourning after hearing that my favorite hairdresser has moved out of town. I finally buckled and decided to go ahead and find another hairdresser. Her hair looks much better shorter, as it is very fine and thin. Here she is drawing pictures for Carter.

Here is the GOOF.

And here I am at 35 weeks pregnant. Today I have officially made it farther than I have my last 2 pregnancies. I am 30 pounds heavier, as of this morning (the most I have ever gained in a pregnancy!!!!), and very frumpy. Ignore my Hulk-like hands. My hands are scary-veiny. Shield your eyes.

THE BELLY!!

AHHHHHHH!!!!

I am posting these because I know that someday I will look back on these pictures fondly, when I am far removed from my enormous frame, but right now it's not so enjoyable. Kindof embarrassing actually. But hey, I'm all about keepin' it real. Embrace the frumpness.

Here's a cute picture to make up for the above:

Now we're off to the park. Have a good one!

I'm a softie.

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 01:35:04 GMT

Hellllooooooo......is anybody out there? Am I the only one still posting on Xanga?

*crickets chirping*

Uhhhh...anyway. I guess I'm the only one pathetic enough to still be inside posting on a computer when we should be outside having adventures and enjoying summer. I am 8.5 months pregnant, you know. Being active out in the heat isn't very appealing right now. We did go to the park earlier, does that count? We've been going on walks everyday lately, doesn't that count for anything?

*crickets chirping*

Ahem. So I have to admit I wasn't too fond of the idea of getting a cat. Not now, with a baby coming and all. I've done the pet thing, and never really enjoyed it. I've always wanted to be an animal person, but the reality of the work and the smell and the poop always ended up turning me off to these little creatures. I get enough work, smell and poop taking care of the kids. But Chad and the kids were so excited to get this kitty, that I didn't object too much. Yesterday I was a little peeved and think I even muttered "I never wanted a cat anyway" when she/he continued pooping and peeing anywhere but the litterbox. Today though, she/he has been using the litterbox consistently, and doing things like this.....

and this....

I think she knew I was apprehensive, so she's been working on warming me up. Smart little thing. Apparently it's working.

The kitty follows us everywhere, and MEOWS very loudly when we leave her in the bathroom, away from us. She's definitely asserted her place in the family, after only 2 days. She wants to be right next to us, all the time. Audri has a new best friend. She carries kitty around and wants to hold her or play with her constantly. Score.

So maybe it wasn't such a bad idea after all....