Reality made sure that i will always go insane.

Dr. Sheila: "if there's something you can change about yourself, what would it be?"

...........

"If i tell you what i want to change, will you do it for me?"
"... you know i can't eunice..."
"yeah i know, because only god can do a massive change on me"

Sometimes, even i have trouble understanding myself.

Currently Listening When You Say Nothing at All By Ronan Keating see related

Still we've got our hearts on save.

huizie says:
i'm chilling here, can't u see i'm chilling here?
huizie says:
i am so damn chilling here
huizie says:
no strings attach right?
huizie says:
got it got it
joe electrifying says:
my dear
joe electrifying says:
i hope u realise u said 'no strings attach' 3 times
huizie says:
.......
huizie says:
... dude, do u want me to just panic and end this straightaway?
huizie says:
cause i am able to do that u know -_-
joe electrifying says:
........
joe electrifying says:
sorry boss
joe electrifying says:
continue reasoning to yrself pls

I must have not learn my lesson very well after numerous practice.

Obviously if i can type this out i must not be dead yet.
I definitely got the results that i wanted to not make myself walk in the middle
of Blackburn Road and wait for one of those Transformer trucks.

Considering how i have been moaning suicidal thoughts and cry myself a river,
this is a rather proud achievement i tell you.

What did i do back in Malaysia?

i spent every moment possible with the family as much as i can.

i got drag by the friends to go out every possible free minutes that i have till i don't even
have time to sleep.

i went out drinking with the alcoholic Aunties who took me to Long Bar.

i ate like nobody's business, and the mother cook me food that could have fed the
whole of the South African nation.

i spent my time watching these shows that the brother got for me from Penang.

I was trapped in the biggest argument ever, and it's really the biggest because i don't find myself
shouting and shrieking and screaming this much and loud in my entire life.

The funny thing is, something good came out of it. I found some kind of fairytale after all.

I went to see friend John Thomas on the drums and Colin Tang on the piano play
in No Black Tie at Bangsar.

I went shopping like i am deprive of shopping for a year (which technically was abit true) and while the
sister went shopping with me, she took advantage of my credit card and do some shopping of herself too
through my advantage -_-.

And then the friend from Sydney came down on the day that i reach back Melbourne.

Just only for 5 days, but i tell you, i was very tired and look forward to the day that he's flying
back to Sydney.

3 straight days of going to the city walking around,
my fragile legs can barely take the stress and tension of walking so much anymore.
But the good thing is, i went to most of the tourist attraction places that i can proudly
tell my parents that i been to here there there here with much bragging.

Wednesday, thursday and friday are my classes.
No they are not good, because now i have to wake up at 8am for my class on wednesday,
9am on thursday and friday, let's not talk about friday at all.

So is this karma for the late classes i have last semester?

People, please smile, because when I cry, it doesn’t help.

When I cry all it does is make people ask me if I'm okay.
I would love nothing more than to punch these people in the face.
I'm sitting here, crying, but yes, I'm perfectly happy.

I mean, come on.

Give me a break.

Obviously I’m not fine.

So, what do you know?

meg: "... dude... is it me? or is it hazy here?"
"daniels, they are called mist, not haze"
"so dude, is it me, or is it misty here?"
"it's misty here"
"thank god... i thought i was high or something, and i din't smoke a weed yet!"

.............

steph: "i thought it was suppose to be global warming here"
"just because it's global warming doesn't mean it's straightaway hot weather you know"
"i thought it's just not cold anymore!"
"... we're in the high lands steph... not KL"

..............

"hey how to check if the vegetable is good ah?"
"who you directing that question to?"
"either one of you"
".... shoot me another question"
".....forget it, i call my mother"

We drove up to Cameron Highlands.

Only the 3 of us.

Enough said.

This is moaning to the world about what jimmy and i will be killing ourselves to.

It's okay to miss every concert in the world, just so we can attend to the one that we deem fit.

But the one time we got an invite, the one time we got a free pass immediately,
the one time when we can gloat to the whole world  that we got a free VIP pass to an event
where the ticket is not for sale, the one event that we so desperately want to go,
the one and ONLY time that it is held in Malaysia.....

...........

we are unable to go.

@#$!%^$&*

It could have been any year that is held in Malaysia where the both of us are back in the motherland,
but nOoo no NoOoOOooo.....

One has to be in Pasadena, one has to be in Melbourne,
because we have to freaking study.

*&%$#%

Ohmygod just screw you lah MTV Asia Awards.

And you know what's the most potong steam?

Jimmy have to give the tickets to someone else.

Currently Watching The L Word - The Complete First Season see related

It always seems be the small things that
make you the happiest.

I would have slept until 1pm today if my phone hadn't rang and i was not stupid
enough to answer it and i was clever enough to see WHO called before i answer it.

1 and a half hour later, i was in the SS2 wet market with my Aunty Lian,
and i was helping (more like being force to help) her holding the groceries and following her around
the bloody small market walking on the stinky wet tar road.

It was 8am i want you to know.

"haiyoh shit you lah, even my mother don't call me early morning to follow her to the market okay" -_-
"i very long never see you mahhh... so i call you out to accompany me to the market also cannot mehh...
don't angry don't angry, i buy you coffee later"
"starbucks ah"
".... kopitiam can ah?"
"you call me out so damn early and you only buy me coffee from the kopitiam?!"

After that she drag me to Casamia so that she "have more time to spend with me".
More like taking me to vacuum the floor and dry-iron the clothes while she's like
over the other side shooting me with questions and popek-popek like no one's business.
If i don't love her so much, i would not have bothered to follow her to the market in the first place.

I was having a war of mind on whether i should drive myself to 1U or not,
driving all the way in the traffic jam under the hot stinking sun is not something i look forward to,
 although the aspect of shopping is playing rather strongly in my mind.

But the driving i don't want to go through.

However, my mother made up my mind for me as i told her i'm PLANNING to drive to 1U,
and she reverse the car nicely for me in the porch just so i would feel guilty that she park it nicely for me
and it make me HAVE to go then.
I wanted to sleep at home and watch tv though.

Like, how clever can she get just to get me out of the house.

Because my sister says she doesn't mind following me, i drove her and myself to 1U,
and i was rather comfortable in moving about 1U in my familiar stance again.
Bought stationeries, which i pore over in Popular Bookstore and wandered around thinking
if i should have bought more, and then walk over to Topshop to get more of the long-sleeves shirt
and felt so glad that i caught the Zara sales in time and bought MORE long-sleeves shirt.

The shopping is necessary, everything i do is quite necessary right now.

I drank with the sister again, because our mother wants us to finish the
Bombay Sapphire, which is apparently taking up kitchen space,
so i pour 3 shots for ourselves once the parents went to sleep.

"to education"
"how come everytime also we cheers to education one?"
"..... because that's the only thing in our lives right now"
"okay"

I don't know how many shots of gin and 100 plus that we have,
but i know that the amount we drink did not finish up the Bombay Sapphire at all.

Even if my mother does allow me to be lazy,
Meg doesn't allow me to even sleep till late at home.
It's the old routine of her barging into my room and making such a racket of a noise
that i just HAD TO wake up in order for her not to disturb the whole neighbourhood.
I can tell you, my mother is watching all this with amusement again and she goes like,
"aaahhh... just like old times....."

Driving me to faraway places where Mat Sallehs like to frequent is something that i may enjoy,
but not at 9 in the morning where back in Australia, i may still be sleeping.
Not only that, of all the Starbucks she can choose to frequent,
she HAVE to drive to the one in Lot 10 @ Bukit Bintang.

"is this your way to kill me? because if it is, you do this until the day i fly home i
think i might just manage to die" I said while slurping on my Mocha Frappucino.
"but you said that you will go anywhere with me anytime as long as i'm the one driving!"

And i need to rephrase that sentence soon.

Am waiting for Steph to come pick me up so we can go hangout at some random place again.
While waiting i've jump from Weeds to watch The L Word.
Yes my brother has bought alot of shows for me to watch,
another reason for my laziness to be going out.

The L Word is like a mini-porn show, with a storyline.

Not my fault they are all in my house and no one watches them okay.

Ooohhh steph is here.

Currently Watching Weeds - Season One By Mary-Louise Parker see related

 I don't intend on being perfect,
I just intend on actually experiencing everything.

Days are spent with the family and night with the friends,
that's the plan that i been following from the day i reach till now.

Saturday morning i woke up and i been gallivanting with my mom, brother, brother's girlfriend
and sister to get most of the necessity to be use for back in Auz.
Got some new blouses, new dresses, new deodorant and other crap that i may need.
My mom have been able to feed me chicken rice, another chicken rice, dim sum,
and she brought me to our relative's place and i manage to feed myself with lots
of chinese home-cook meal, since i don't get much home-cook meal in auz (note: not cooking),
i stuff myself with it all till i deem satisfied.

SS2 has Starbucks now, can you beat that.

My sister and i have also been drinking, we were cleaning up the dining table after dinner
and my sister coax me to have a bombay sapphire before some relatives come.
Naturally, i agreed, and i proceed to pour out the gin and some orange juice into the
small whiskey glass we had.

sister: "eh eunice, bottoms up ah, bottoms up ah?"
"okay okay bottoms up bottoms up"
"you sure or not! don't bluff me ah"
"i don't bluff you lah" -_-

And we bottoms up to it, dedicate to everything we deem important in our life.

Mother: "you 2 alcoholics, clean the table already or not?"

My sister and i clean up the table then we went to refresh our drinks again.

So i been here, there, everywhere that my driving skills can bring me.
With my very lackadaisical memory skills, i manage to drive down to Bangsar
for my medication being taken, which impresses Dr. Sheila so much
cause she assume i would end up late or something when i reach there WITHOUT GETTING LOST.
After that on the way i drove to Telawi Street and find myself fortunate to found a
parking space right in front of La Bodega,
and i browse over to Cats' Whiskers, Little Black Book and Blook, and then i walk
over to MPH and sat by the shelves, staring at the books stack nicely before me,
taking out books that i see interesting by the names.

As i was sitted in the row between the shelves, i realise that it felt like old times again.

With my books i walk to Meg's workplace at Ronnie Q's which is down the shops, not only do i
get to see her, but i got a booming greeting from the supervisor, Peter himself.

peter: "eunice! you're back already!"
"hey peter, how is everything!"
"good good, business have been great, now with Euro going on, it's even better!
wow i haven't seen your regular face for a while, i actually miss you! eventhough my employee gives you
free beer and food everytime you come"
"haha yes yes, i'm surprise you haven't fire her yet"
"i should have fired her isn't it, after all the free beers that she free-flow to you"
meg: "... boss, if you haven't realize, i work extra hours for you with no pay because of those"

I was sitted again at the bar counter again, reading the books while drinking Kilkenny beer,
which i have to say, the beer is courtesy of the supervisor himself. 

Have already also met up with the Steph, who gave me the beariest hug the first time
i saw her and i was laughing like a 5 year old rambling on with "ohmygod i miss you sooo!!"
and the 3 of us have been going out till late night ever since.
Our favourite place over some (free) alcohol has always been Zeta Bar and the Loft,
which i see hadn't change much, recognize a few faces here and there,
even got to see some old faces who just realise that i came back from Auz, and they
got to scolding me for not informing them.

Which, i only told a few of my coming back, that's why.

Over coke whiskey, some gin and vodka, with loud music blaring around us
in Zeta Bar, Meg, Steph and i were hanging round one of the high tables and we shout our updates
to each other on the many mischieves we got oursevles into the past few months.

Steph: "ohmyfuckingod this is so deja vu!"
"it's like i never left isn't it?!!"

"~apple bottom jeans (JEANS) boots with the fur-rr (FUR)!!~"

"ohmygod! i like this song!!"
"you did??? seriously? you use to hate R&B!!"
"i know!! i even like dancing to this, ohmygod it's damn weird!"
"so let's see the dancing skills!!!"

Everything just falls into place like that.

We didn't really accomplish anything that night; nothing of any real importance, anyway.
But through the years that lay ahead, there will be a thousand other nights just like that one:
stupid, ridiculous, and glorious.

The Gilmore Girls cannot be watch on my laptop, nor it can be watch on the DVD player.
Bloody pirated DVDs are always very stupid, because they are so super cheap.
Hence, i'm proceeding to watch Weeds Season 1 now, which is kind of good if my laptop
speakers had been better.

Mom came into my room and to her dismay, seeing me again watching Weeds on the laptop instead
of being out somewhere in the very humid and sunny and oily weather outside.

mom: "don't you have friends or uni friends to go out with?"
"...  too lazy..."
"haiyah why you ah! just go and meet them for awhile only mah!"
"... i'm very lazy to drive"
"then ask them to drive you!"
"... they don't know where's my house"
"......."
"they also din't call me now what-ttttt...."

Like it's my fault that i din't go out because no acquaintance call me on a 10 minutes quickie or something.

Well as long as i get to  spend time with the family, meet the close friends and take advantage of free alcohol again,
i couldn't be bothered with anything else.

I'm just too lazy to drive, if truth to be told.

If you ask me out, i hope you know the way to my house,
and i'm not very particular about the car you drive,
as long as you're the one driving 

So sue me if i don't make use of my driving license!