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i'm smart, sarcastic, and serious when it's needed.
i do what i want, and i say what i want.
i don't bullshit people, if i have a problem you'll know it.
i would drive five hours in the middle of the night for a friend, but it takes a whole hell of a lot for me to love someone that much.
right when you think you know me, i'll do something completely crazy and spontaneous.
i have a gypsy soul, and i take the long way around.
i love to read... about 7 books at a time.
i don't give up easily, but i don't start something without thinking it through.
i can't go anywhere without a pen and a notebook so i can always write down random thoughts because you never know when inspiration will strike.
i am complicated, yet i am quite easy to please...
i am fierce.
i am incandescent.
i am beautiful.
love it, or miss out.
get used to it, or move on.
and peace out to you and all your fake and bitterly sympathetic entourage... i am SO much happier without you ^_^
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She sighed in bemusement, as if the whole thing was a very old subject and she didn't want to discuss it again. "...but isn't this what you wanted?"
"YES!" I nearly yelled.
And in the same instant I could feel a deep resounding NO from deep in my chest.
I quickly corrected myself. "Not like this, it's just not... fair."
"Well now," she responded, amused. "That's not something you generally bring up as a complaint."
"I didn't mean me, I can handle that. You know I have before... I wasn't talking about me."
"Winning is winning," she said flatly, her eyes steeled against any opposition to her truth.
I stared at her, perplexed. How could she be so cold? Had the world really jaded her so she was beyond even sympathy? Did she really think of no one besides herself...
"I don't want to win like this." I shuffled my feet, guilt seeping in from all sides. "Somehow it doesn't feel like winning; it feels like cheating, like stealing..."
"Then shame on you for cheating. No one likes a thief you know." Her voice was calm, but there was subtle condemnation under her usually apathetic tone. "You do know that no one will accept this, right? It's blatantly against the norm. It will be another debate, another constant barrage of defense against your..."
"No!" I cut her off. "I'm telling you it's not like that. Not this time. I have a little more compassion than that."
She didn't like being interrupted. "You're already on the defensive. You know it. You can feel it leaking into every conversation, and all your conversations are already starting to revolve around the same thing. You're falling, and it's only going to go faster as time goes on. You won't be able to stop it. It's already too late."
She spoke slowly, evenly, making sure that I felt the the full impact of every word.
I hated that she knew me so well. I hated that she could be so unfeeling, that she didn't care for anyone but herself. I hated that she wasn't the only one who felt that way about the situation.
I hated that she was right.
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Oh you silly stupid pastime of mine
You were always good for a rhyme
And from the first, to the last time,
All the signs said Stop
But we went on whole-hearted
It ended bad, but I love where we started
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i will never again apologize for who i am.
don't tell me to be quiet.
i laugh loudly and proudly.
that's who i am, if you don't like it then get over it or go away.
i don't need friends who don't even like me.
don't tell me i shouldn't watch/listen to/read something because you think it's stupid.
i like what i like, and i don't usually change my mind about what i don't like.
don't dismiss my opinions as if they don't matter; i don't form them flippantly.
if i'm uninformed, i won't say anything until i am.
don't get mad at me for things that aren't my fault.
and do not take it out on me when you're mad at someone/something else.
i don't deserve it.
don't take me for granted.
i won't be around forever...
i will go at my own speed.
i will say what i mean.
i will cherish those few people who are my family.
i will stop beating myself up for things i cannot change.
i will learn to love who i am.
i will crawl.
i will run.
i will fly.
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i sometimes wonder if even the strongest, most amazing people are really scared and lonely deep down inside...
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