yet another day..today...  not much. pretty bummed about almost everything that happened. lets set this straight. fights are lame. like ALL of them. especially if you have two persons: one who is almost bi-polar. and another who is stubborn and follows what has been come of her, whom does NOT like change one bit. i stayed home from school today on the matter that the previous night before i constantly was overworked by some people i wish not to name on the count of the whole drama scene about to occur. then again, who ELSE reads xanga now-a-days am i right? but, let's keep this classy and no name it. i've tried to remonstrate to not make myself worry with the most unnecessary things possible. problematics are not things i want to face. one again; not interested. confirming the uncertainty of how im feeling right about now. im over being frustrated and pissy. i took one for the team and simply GOT OVER IT ALREADY. haha damn, this is why xanga was invented people. to blog about your thoughts and what nots instead of going out and rummaging through someones where abouts hoping that after they pissed you off you wished they got abducted or something. in life i've made many mistakes.. im only human. though one thing that happened last night or after a call at 2:54 today was NOT my mistake. i just wish that person actually had a taste of what it is. though one can never know what its like. so unlike other days, i stayed home. being compleeeetly out of it all. yeno that whole saying "my body's here.. just im not." EXACTLY what today's case was. i really dont know why i let stupid things get to me. i was born with is conscience that UGH man, is ALWAYS at the back of mind. maybe taking it how it is just isnt enough. take it how it is and go in depth of what it means makes it better. but when doing that, you realize how pathetic life can be and just depresses you back into a state of confusion. "why does things have to be this way?" and "is this the way i want to live my life?" and "am i doing the right things?" but most of all.. "WHAT AM I GETTING MYSELF INTO?.." i cannot stress enough on that question. its a question that pops into my brain every single day. where am i headed? life is full of trudging and people trudge to get into and out of matters or to a destination. but i've been trudging lately to .. no where. i have no where to go and simply and actually becoming unhappier without showing it. the nurse at westmoor had a nice talk with me the other day.. and its like shes a mind-reader! telling me wise things that like "what the heck? this is coming from you? a little old filipino woman that looks so happy.." im guessing with all the things she's done and went through.. life is just paying her back. im trying my best to life simply.. its just with time things can get better and secretly im DYING to get out of my state of being right at the moment. and waiting for the day i can start fresh.. and leave things behind. starting off with westmoor high school. | 
