omg!!! i got a baloon 4 valentines day!! the forst time ive gotten nethng!! but idk who itz 4m????..... i kno itz not 4m my friends b/c htey dont kno who itz 4m and itz not 4m anthony b/c he goes 2 a different school..... so idk ill try and figure it out! bu ti was sooo xcited!! it was funny... dylan said that i looked bad w/short hair..... so i socked him outside after lunch....it was fun.....so ya g2g ttyl ppl luv y'all

p.s. my hair is sexy!!

hea ppl i'm sad :( my friend/sister krysta her mom (momma) died the other day.....tear... we cried for like an hour on the fone. and thn i was gonna cut...but well i couoldnt i knew she wouldnt want me to.. so here are sum poems i wrote wen i found out....

You're gone

You’re gone.

Never to return.

Never to send me off on dates.

Never to see me cry again.

Never to tell me that you love me,

Ever again.

So I cry.

I cry long and hard.

All the while,

Knowing that I’ll never feel your hug again.

I’ll never see you smile again,

And I’ll never hear your voice again.

Sure I’ll see you in pictures,

And in memories,

And I’ll hear you,

In videos of everyone together.

But it wont be the same.

It wont ever be the same.

Because its not you.

It’s just a copy of you,

It won’t capture your soul,

Your humor,

And you character.

I would say I have you in many memories.

But I wont.

Because it’s a lie.

Because I don’t,

And I never will.

I just got you,

And you just got me.

Then you had to leave,

Permanently.

I miss you so much.

Even though,

I don’t know you that well.

Well at least not a well as I wish I could.

I hope your ok,

And that you’re being taken care of,

Everyone does.

But I know I’m not ok.

Though I’m being taken care of for sure.

I may never be ok,

But I’ll try always to be ok.

Just for you.

That’s right.

I’ll try always.

For you.

Only for you.

Because you would want me to.

She is gone

She is gone.

She can never come back.

I just can’t seem to get that concept into,

My thick skull.

It hurts too much to think about it.

I can't cry.

I have to be strong.

I can't show my weakness.

Not when I know that someone is worse,

And that they need me.

I have to be...

Well I don't know what I have to be.

I know I just can't be weak.

Not that she would want me to be weak though.

I just have to be strong when I’m around them.

So when I’m alone I can be as weak as I want to be.

I’ll be strong.

But only for their sake.

Can't believe

She is gone.

I can’t believe it.

I wont believe it.

It’s not the truth.

They are all lying.

I can’t trust them.

Not now,

Not ever.

I know I will live with out her.

But I’ll never really live again.

At least that’s how you look at it.

I know I can live again.

Or at least try to.

My life isn’t mine anymore

It’s just this part of someone else’s.

An unimportant sentence in their chapter.

A chapter in their life story.

That doesn’t hurt me though.

But it breaks my heart to know,

That they don’t understand or,

That they don’t show that they care.

It hurts me even more,

To know that of all you,

Are hurting.

The most.

I just don’t want to see you dry.

I know your pain,

Or at least I try to know it.

Though I never will.

I wish I had the will that you have.

The one that is keeping you going,

After you lose someone,

Right as you find them.

I wish to be like you.

Strong,

Courageous,

And strong willed.

I know it will never be like that for me.

I will always be weak and never know the hardship of true loss.

Not that I want to know but…

I long for the chance.

I wish I could help you,

I want to help you.

But sadly I can do nothing.

I wish you the best in you time of need.

And I wish you the best in everything,

And anything.

So for now I will try and accept the fact that,

She is gone.

Crying myself to sleep

Crying myself to sleep.

Crying my life away.

Crying my way through the day.

You may not see it on the outside,

But inside it’s just me,

Crying to get you back.

Even though I know it cant happen.

I want you here with me,

And I know you can’t be.

Because u are away in a better place,

At least that’s what they say.

But can it really be better.

Without the people you love,

Without them there with you,

Keeping you company,

Showing their love for you rite back.

I know that without you here,

It seems pointless,

So I wonder if where you are is the same way,

Since we aren’t there.

I know it sounds selfish,

To want you all to our selves.

But we have grown attached to you.

We love you and you presence.

We want you and your uniqueness back.

We never wanted you to go in the first place.

We knew it wouldn’t be the same without you.

I see no point to live any more,

I can’t look forward to seeing you,

Or to talking to you.

I wish I could have spent more time with you.

I know you wanted me to.

But it was too complicated.

I wish I could go back and see you,

Just before you left us for good,

Just so I could tell you,

How much I love you is unmarkable by anything.

Not words or numbers.

Only inexpressible feelings.

I miss you.

We all do. But…

Even though I don’t want to,

I live through it, a life without you,

But only for you.

Because I know,

You would have wanted me to.

i wrote sum more in aim but idk if i saved thm sum of these r like the ones on aim but i added to thm... ya soo w/e i got the funeral to go to on saturday... so ya buh-bie

p.s. why do you think they put the word "fun" in "funeral"? thats just been going thru my mind all day...so ya tell me what you think... thnx luv y'all!!! : \

here is a poem that i just wrote i was gonna do an entry but i started typing and here it was...anohter poem!! lol imma  big dork luv y'all buh-bie!

Tears of blood

as I cry tears of blood,

I watch you,

you and your perfect life.

the one I long to be apart of,

the one you share with everyone,

except me.

I hope you can forgive me,

for my stupidity,

my ignorance,

my selfish love,

and my hopeless dreams,

 know the ones I always share with you,

the ones you never care about.

I sit still crying my thick,

and never ending tears of blood.

as you sit there,

watching and laughing,

with those friends of yours.

the ones who all think I'm a,

a....

well they think I'm,

a nuisance.

they think I'm crazy and weird,

well they need to look in the mirror at what they do,

and at what they are.

they would be surprised,

very surprised,

at the way things work.

the real world will have no use for you,

any of you.

it'll seem like it does,

but sadly it wont.

so i'll be there,

with others like me,

doing well,

being sucessful,

and you,

all of you will just be,

here doing nothing.

well nothing new at least.

so you will all be here,

watching others,

laughing,

as they,

like me and many before us,

cry their tears of blood.

as those tears stain their faces

they'll think,

how much they despise you,

how much they loath you,

and how much they wish to be apart of you.

then they'll think,

there is no point,

you are all mindless drones,

ones who,

can't think for themselves,

let alone others.

and then they'll realize that its better,

to be themselves,

and,

not you.

just as i just did.

now my never ending tears of blood,

the ones that streaked down my face,

the ones that left stains on my cheeks,

they slowly stop.

yet in my heart i still cry those tears of blood,

but not in sadness as i did in the past,

but in genuine happiness,

something i am experiencing for the first time ever.

poems poems poems it seems like thats all i can write at this time. lol sry they keep getting longer most of the time im really sorry about that!!! luv y'all!!

I'm Here

I’m here.

Waiting for you.

But you don’t come.

I wait.

And you still don’t come.

So I stay thinking that you’re just running late.

It’s getting late,

And everyone is calling me,

They want to know where I am.

So I tell them I’m out and I wont be home tonight.

So I wait and wait for you.

It continues getting late.

And still you haven’t come yet.

I worry.

The night is getting darker, and darker;

Its getting later and later;

So I slowly fall asleep.

I dream.

My dream is that you are here.

You tell me why you are late.

And I understand.

Suddenly…

You’re gone.

I’m scared and confused.

You were just here.

But now you’re gone without a trace.

I awake.

Its almost dawn,

And you still haven’t come.

I go home.

They yell and scold me for not coming home.

I ignore them.

The whole time I’m thinking about you.

Where are you?

Why didn’t you come to see me?

You promised…

I believed …

I trusted…

And you...

You betrayed.

I decide to go back.

To wait.

Again.

You never come.

So I go back again the next day.

You don’t come.

So again the next day I go back.

Again you don’t come.

I continue.

Day after day.

Week after week.

Month after month.

Till I realize you lied.

And I wouldn’t ever see you.

Ever.

So I move on.

And I forget.

Or at least I try.

The days go by and then weeks.

Eventually months then years.

In my heart I still sit and wait.

And you never come.

So I leave a note.

One that says,

You are my betrayal,

My life,

My sustenance,

My death,

And my cause for everything.

You are me as a whole.

And I regret ever believing you,

And I forget about you as a whole,

About me as a piece.

A piece of you.

A half of us as a whole.

After I leave this note in my heart,

The one I gave to you,

The one you broke,

The one you betrayed.

I forget all together.

I erase all the times,

All the laughs,

The lies,

And

The promises.

I hope you can forgive me.

I don’t know why.

Because I’m not the one who did something wrong.

It was you.

It was always you.

Never me.

Just you.

The only time when it was,

Just me.

Was when I was,

There,

Alone,

Waiting,

For you.

Just me.

And you never came.

So in my mind in the very back,

Where you are barely a shadow,

In the dark,

Where I have a miniscule memory of you,

I’m still there,

Waiting,

Hoping,

That you will come.

And still you never do.

You never will.

And I know that.

But I’ll never learn.

I’ll always be there,

Alone,

Waiting for you.

And you’ll never come.

But that’s ok.

I only wish,

That the hopeful me that is in the back of my mind,

With the almost non existent memory of you,

Wouldn’t be let down,

Every day,

When you don’t come.

And I’m left there waiting for you.

So inside I’m always crying.

Hoping and praying.

That one day you’ll come,

And you’ll find me.

But that day will sadly never come.

And I will sadly be letdown,

Every day,

Till the day I die.

That day,

I hope,

Will come to me very soon.

Because I just cant live like this any more.

It’s to lonely,

I’m to betrayed,

To full of the memory of laughs,

Lies and forgotten promises.

And I'm here.

Waiting.

For you.

Alone.

ok so here is a poem (again)lol sry they r sooo long!! luv y'all!!

Things

ME.