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| why seek out a diagnosis?
so others can see i suffer from depression? suffer from bipolar disorder?
really, i just want that one word: "suffer".
i suffer.
when i'm lying on my back at night thinking about everything and nothing, it's suffering that i feel. when i'm crying and bitterly wishing again for companionship, care, it's useless; i know nobody will see it or know it.
i torment myself with all the same thoughts and defensively bring my pillow to my mouth to cover the sobbing. to cover the ugliness, if i want to be brutally honest. it's that pathetic--because what i feel--it's suffering. nobody can tell me otherwise; nobody has the right to tell me otherwise. doctor or not. diagnosis or not.
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| because...
beacuse i'm taking RHE325M, so i think in Writing for a day or two after a nightful of papering and coffee jitters?
because it's the evening before my four-day weekend?
because there's a couple in my living room?
because it's the evening before my four-day weekend, and it'll be the same as my next four evenings.
because i'm tired, so i thought about it
because i'm tired and was robbed of enjoying the kissing scene in clueless with the charmingly awkward paul rudd
because the half of that couple who knows me not as well doesn't know me well enough to know that
i am tired. what happens when i'm tired, and what i need when i'm tired. that tiredness,
it makes me think, but it also makes me.. fragmented. in speech and in energy.
mainly, it makes me think - i wish... i had someone to be tired with on the couch too
(but instead i shower and sleep early. with wet hair neglected due to an impatience of dealing with tiredness)
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| /edit-- LOL okay i should add that i know hui did not mean it like that =D but it did come out awfully funny & so... i just wanted to post it LOL <3
huiiiE: oh haha good tips?
swt lil ang jo: none for hostess today =(
swt lil ang jo: ours come from people tipping us when they come to pick up orders
huiiiE: oh
huiiiE: haha i would never tip when i do togo
swt lil ang jo: lol yeahh
swt lil ang jo: but apparently cathy got $10 from those tips yesterday evening o_O
swt lil ang jo: crazy
swt lil ang jo: (the boss's wife)
swt lil ang jo: she worked as cashier yest
swt lil ang jo: cashier/hostess
huiiiE: haha
huiiiE: is she hot
huiiiE: lol
huiiiE: that's why she gets the tip/
huiiiE: hah
huiiiE signed off at 12:41:46 AM.
lol oh hui.
you signed off before i had a chance to respond, really
but...did you think through what you said before you said it to me? ;] | | |
| dear highly valued customer,
if you are going to bring your three children, all seemingly under age 5, and yourself to a restaurant, please do not leave a rice & chicken rug on the carpet.. and then step it into the existing carpet as you leave.. and then leave only a 2 dollar tip, you freaking mini-hurricane. your daughter was nice to me though, but i suspect you were angry and maybe did those aforementioned things becaues i didn't refill your iced tea in time?
at least you did tip unlike another customer who asked me for a bunch of things and who i responded to very nicely or so i thought [--so nice that he left a tip of $0.00]. but then again he didnt pull a new orleans KEEK juskidding
--
don't worry guys, i only complain because people complain about work right? 'tis customary. i am actually rather grateful to be working, even if the pay is sometimes less than minimum wage and even if i've gone through three pairs of shoes that all hate various parts of my feet ^_^ that's where the measly tips come in~ shoe shopping! | | |
| hi guys, i facebook now. RIGHTFULLY though, because i'm a college student now, bitch! sort of | | |
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