Wow i was actually 113.4 today... I dont really feel that small.. even though its not that small haha. But my body feels a little different. I hope its not just that i felt a little dehydrated this morning and the second i drink anything ill gain a pound or so. Whatever ..numbers on the scale going in the downward direction motivates me much more than anything i think. Or waking up.... and of course the first thing i do before even opening my eyes is to run my hands over my stomach and see the damage or ..gauge where im at... how much my hipbones are sticking out when im laying down..or how much they arent. If they are and my stomach feels flatter... it makes it all so worth it. I was having a discussion with my boyfriend yesterday about being skinny and whatnot. We were talking about a friend of mine and i always ask him if shes skinnier than me but he wont answer. I just really wanna know, but we have totally different bodies. But then we were talking and hes like "shes skinny.. but not good she doesnt have a nice body... theres a difference between being skinny and being fit blahblahblah" and i asked him what he considers me and he hesitated to answer but then hes like "you're normal theres nothing wrong with you" to me that just means im fucking gross. Normal bodies do not = good bodies. A "normal" person to me is someone with a little bit bigger parts and definitly not skinny or even that close to skinny. And "theres nothing wrong with you" to me just means im not attractive im just "normal" or "okay" ..but he doesnt find me to be anything more. As you can probably tell i overanalyze things WAYYY too much.... but those kind of comments just dont leave my mind. He acts attracted to me but i bet he thinks i have fat legs and a disgusting ass...not to mention gross lve handles and wishes i was skinnier. BLAH. Ok im done with my rant. I hope everyone is doing awesomee. Pray for a good day. haha | 
