iamdixiedydo's Xanga

Open letter to internet adults with kids

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 17:08:09 GMT

Dear parents,

I spent Wednesday with some of your teenagers. We were discussing the "script" for high school dating and how confusing it all can be. Most of them haven't a clue how to form decent relationships. They brought up the internet and Myspace and such and we talked about how social networking online may or maynot be a great idea. I gave them some pro's and con's.

They also wanted to talk about you and me. No surprise. They are miffed with the lot of us. No surprise, really. Isn't that what teens are supposed to do? The big surprise to me was that they are annoyed with us not because we are a bunch of buzz-killing, clueless, worry-worts. They are annoyed because we are a great big bunch of hypocrits, especially when it comes to dating, drinking and socializing. And quite frankly, as I look around at Facebook and Xanga and the like, I have to agree with them. Seriously. How in the world do we expect kids to act mature about dating and sex if they get online and find their parents have invaded their space and are acting the fool?

I don't have a thing against us old farts using SNS's to make new friends, find old ones and keep up with current buds. But when I see us trying to hook up, splay ourselves out, and spill intimate details about our love lives, I just get crazy. Now don't tell me that you "have your site all private and stuff." Because your kids are smart. Just like you get online and lurk around and try to figure out the details of your kids's lives to "keep them in line and safe," they also can fugure out how to find you and all the stuff you are up to. And frankly, they are rightly embarrassed. Besides, if you are dating for real, they see how you are. For. Real.

And our online lives are just mirrors of our private, real-time lives. We tsk, tsk about "these kids today" and then haven't even matured enough to handle our own scenes. We can't drink responsibly. We can't kick bad, nagging habits and we have no idea how to maintain appropriate relationships.

We. are. a. mess. A big hot mess.

And they know it. I'm only telling you what they told me.

OK. So most of you- my dear friends, one and all- are doing a great job being you. I wouldn't like you if you weren't. So if you don't have to apply any of this, that's fine by me. Please don't take it personally. I just had to get this out while it was on my mind. IF, however, you see yourself in this, consider how your kids see you. They need you to be a grown up. They don't need you as their friend- not while they are young. They need parents. Someday you can and will be friends. It will be a chapter of your life that lasts longer than the one you are in while they are young. And someday, you will need them to parent you. But that doesn't need to be today.

I'm going to do my part. How about you?

Can I borrow your baby?

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 13:35:35 GMT

Greg and I DVR'ed a summer NBC program called The Baby Borrowers. 5 teen couples who think they can handle parenthood are given 3 weeks to find out if they have the stuff it takes. They get 24 hours of a sympathy belly, birthing class, 3 days with an infant (5-9 months old), 3 days with toddlers, 3 days with pre-teens, 3 days with teenagers and 3 days with the elderly. They also have to work, budget, shop, and generally take on family life.

Fascinating TV. We have watched up through the toddler episode so if you've seen more, don't spoil the drama for me. Of course, it is much different to take someone else's child than start from scratch with your own but still, there is much to learn from how these teens deal with parenting and more interestingly, their own relationships. Some of these kids don't even need to be dating anyone much less thinking of having children together. Surprising? uh. no.

We saw a program on FOX criticizing the parents who "loaned out" their kids for this. So, wouldya? I think I might. Parents get to watch from closed-circuit TV's and some find the need to intervene at different points. Some of those parents are annoying. There are also nannies on hand to supervise but not interfere unless they think they absolutely need to for the safety of the children.

If you've seen any of this and feel the need to discuss, I would love to do that. GReggo and I raised kids together so our opinions generally line up on how this is going. We might be off-base or whatever. And we just basically "yes, you are so right" each other. Whatcha got?

it's not technically begging

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 22:17:11 GMT

Lyla spent last night with the Girls de Champs. When I went to retrieve her this afternoon, I was greeted heartily at the door not only by Champ himself but by the 3 girls. I was immediately handed a note. It's in three parts-

Mommy! can Em and El sleep over at our house

p.s. I will not beg you.

Lyla

Emily: Can I please spend the night at your house. I had so much fun with Lyla.

(on the back)

Elli: Please! please can i sleep at lyla's house.

Someone is not too proud to beg. Apparently that wouldn't be Lyla. I've been framed.

Anyhow, Champ and I had a great culture talk about 20-Somethings. We've got it all figured out. If by figured out you mean scratching our collective headbrains.

Painting the potty room

Sat, 19 Jul 2008 20:33:11 GMT

I always give Greg the hardest part of a job.

Today I painted the little potty room in our bathroom. It needed it badly, so badly. And the color deep, dark red)has never really suited such a small space especially in a room where people are trying to read. SHESH. I picked out a shade called "ice pink." Yes, it's pink. But it's a Waverly color so it will blend in with fabrics nicely, I think. Wait. there are no places for fabrics in that space.

Anyway, I needed help with two things: (1.) taking the door off its hinges. Easily done by Greg with a flat-head screwdriver and a hammer. He was quick. (2.) removing the tank from the toilet so I could reach behind there and do an excellent job. Afterall, I removed the air ventilation cover, the light switch cover and the paper holder. (I'm also going to take down the light fixture and paint under it but I need to wait until the room is altogether done). We got the towels in place to catch water, got some tools ready and screw #1 came out easily. uh... not so much for screw #2. Rust. YIKES. He worked and worked until he had to get on the jet airplane and head out to Birmingham. I prayed and prayed for patience and success. Nope. He left it to me to try and get it unscrewed just a bit more. No luck. Doggoneit!

I painted anyway. It's pink now.

body image

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 13:43:22 GMT

Is there anybody out there with a really good, healthy body image? I'm starting to think the answer is no. But there must be!!

I'll tell you how bad it is. I know an old cowpoke who refuses to wear short sleeved shirts even in the summer, even while he's fishing or just messing around the house. Why? He is self-conscious about his arms. He thinks they are too skinny. You know, he probably got teased once and from then on he refused to show his arms. I can't imagine what activities he has given up just because he didn't want anyone to see his arms. I know another guy that for the longest time only saw himself as a little kid from high school. He carried himself like he was just one step away from getting stepped on. It finally took someone pointing out that he could just about take anyone on the street just by his shear size. He's better now.

Most of us see ourselves as just the wrong size. We over estimate how big we are and we have no real idea how others see or perceive us to be. Why can't we just be comfortable in our own skin? What makes this so hard?

Day Two (now three, maybe) over at MissDixieSeries

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 17:04:20 GMT

check it out.

Today there was a column in the Dallas Morning News about the glory days of the clothesline. Now with fuel prices rising and people looking for ways to save energy and money, talk about having a clothesline has surfaced. Right away some guy writes about how he has strung up a line in his backyard and it is just like he remembered as a kid in his grandmama's yard. That letter was countered by another woman writing that you have to be careful because the Home Owners Association will have a snack down on you if you aren't careful! Clotheslines are an anathema to an HOA.

Well, Steve Blow waxed poetic and nostalgic about the glories of clotheslines and how your sheets smell and how much fun it was to run between the long line of sheets hanging on the wires strung between two giant metal "T's." And yeah, I do remember all that. In fact, if you even mention bedsheets drying on a line, I immediately can smell that detergent, sunshine, sweet grass in my memory. I also remember how the clothes felt all stiff and how the clover grew under the line in a thick patch. If we went out to help Mother put up or take down the clothes, we have to take such care not to let them drag the ground.

See, doesn't that look just wonderful??

But, I'm not so convinced I want to return to those sweet and simple days of yore. Why? Several years ago our dryer went out. I spent a few weeks toting 7 loads of clothes down to a laundromat just to dry out our weekly wash. It was a beating. I decided to go down and get myself a clothesline and take up the old art of outdoor drying. I got a cotton line (which, by the way, I now think that everyone should have a good length of cotton line around at all times for MANY reasons) and strung it up between the pecan tree neat the driveway and the posts on my backporch. I was really looking forward to all those wonderful memories to come up and just wrap me in their goody good love.

It never really happened that way. First, the cotton line kept stretching out and needed constant replay on the tension. Then, being under a tree and on the porch means not in the full sun with a blowing breeze. In the full sun and a blowing breeze is where the goodness of smell and popping out of wrinkles comes from. Well, except then I remembered that big, giant ironing contraption my mother had and how much of her week seemed to be spent in ironing back then. A dryer is great for getting clothes smoothed out. Next, I got really self-conscious about the stuff of ours that I was hanging out to dry. 'Cuz everything went out to dry. T-shirts now looked stained and sort of not so great, bras, panties, undies of everyone, and of course I couldn't very well string up those big ol' sheets on the too small porch. Things looked a bit shabby out there. And one of the things we love about our yard (the fenceless, wide, open space) became a detriment. We were FULLY exposed. No hiding behind an 8-ft. fence.

After a time or two, I just couldn't bring myself to do it much longer. We got the dryer fixed and our undies went off the line and back under our clothes where they belong. The nostalgia was locked back in my memory bank as sweet as it had ever been. But, no thank you. Really.

I am not a fan of HOA's and and how they boss everyone around. I understand that if we don't keep people in check, most of us will go crazy doing our own thing. But I'm glad we keep things free and sort of funky down in Old Town. Still, I'm also choosing- for now- to keep my free and my funky in the laundry room.

Start of something new!

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 21:07:20 GMT

I've started a new xanga in addition to this one.

I'm calling it MissDixieSeries. Check it out! I hope you like it and find it informative. I don't mean to "coattail" but it's going to be a video blog. Sorry. I don't mind some criticism on how to make it better. There will be stuff on there pertaining mostly to relationships, assault, social action and such. It's a start so give it a whirl. Tell your friends!

My great idea

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 00:36:49 GMT

The city of Lewisville hosts a summer concert series. And since they are held in the plaza one block from our house, I thought it would be a great idea for us to walk down there with our collapsible lawn chairs and join the throngs of people there to hear Spector's Gun Collection. Yes. This is Texas. As we were walking down to the concert, they band had cranked up "All Right Now, baby, it's all right now." We noted that the sky seemed to be darkening and I looked to the southwest and remarked, "There seems to be a patch of rain falling right over there." Lyla was pedaling her bike just ahead of us. As we walked through the Mulkey-Mason Funeral Home parking lot, I saw Greg's face take on that undeniable look of "this is one of your ideas, isn't it?"

We unfold the chairs off by the port-o-lets and just as we settle in, some guy from the city commandeers the mic from the bearded dude on lead and calmly informs us the DPS says the storm is coming, it won't last long and if we want to take shelter under the arches of City Hall, it might be a good idea. He tells Spector, "sorry guys, looks like you got in three songs just like last year." (Note to self: Spector's Gun Collection on the calendar = unexpected showers.)

Greg, Lyla and I make it to City Hall just as the rain starts. And it rained and rained and rained. It finally slows to the point that we can retrieve Lyla's bike and walk back home. In the rain. Barefoot. We were soaked through. In true bliss of a child caught in a summer shower, Lyla made the most of every puddle and gully wash. And honestly, it was fun to have an excuse to get out in the rain, splash in a few puddles, and just be.

please explain to me why TV sitcoms always pair a beautiful woman with a average looking man?

Mon, 07 Jul 2008 22:31:56 GMT

well, except for Roseanne...

- We are back from San Diego. If you want a racap, go here if you haven't been keeping up.

- Lyla just told Joel to smile for her camera. he made a series of goofy faces then she said, "Hold it. I'm going to take a picture of your armpit hairs."

- I wish I had a quote book sometime. We overheard so many great conversations when on vacation... and at home apparently.

- My conference was pretty good. The lady from the University of Kentucky, Dorothy Edwards who presented the lunchnote address is responsible for me spending 8 months in a giant Bee costume. Thanks Dorothy.

- I came home with an idea that is burning a hole in my brain. It is a big idea. A culture changing idea.

- most of us over-sensationalize how bad things are.

- Yes, I devoured a bucket of Joe's snow crabs. It was heaven, finger-lickin', bone-pickin' heaven.

- I never dreamed that desert mountain forests could be so breath-taking. If you ever think about going to California, you must go here.

- worldwidechimpout: peace out, man.

- I'm getting the itch to write some more.

- It's good to be home.

On the Road Again

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 19:31:07 GMT

Saturday my mother and I felt like we had the golden ticket. We were among the lucky few thousand to get into the Dallas stop of the Antiques Roadshow. It was interesting and fun. We stood in the 9 AM line with several hundres people queued up behind the line of 8 AMers. Everyone had their little treasures carefully wrapped in bubble wrap and boxes and cloth of some sort of another. We were all allowed to bring two items only. Mother came with Granny's handmade paperdolls. We debated for quite awhile about the other items and settled on a green glass pitcher and glasses set, an antique, framed fan and a cream and sugar set of RS Prussian ceramics.

People watching factor- 8.5

Judging items people thought might be valuable- 9

Excitement at the thought of actually making it on the TV show- 6

Value of our goodies- not that great.

The paperdolls were hard to assess since they weren't mass produced. The guy appraising them declared them to be "absolutely charming." He said that if they were to be put up for bid and a couple of collectors got into a bidding war over them, they might go for a thousand dollars. That seems to be a lot of speculating to me.

The fan? Maybe 3 to 4 hundred. I did get a sort of history on it which was cool.

The RS Prussia stuff is widely available and widely collected. So not that great. No matter. I think it is beautiful stuff.

Still, the adventure was fun. We got to see this woman and her amazing rocking chair that once belonged to P.T. Barnum. She was in line with us. Who knew?

One thing I noted was that most of our treasures are things that easily be broken or burned up or destroyed in a matter of seconds. Life and things are so fragile. "Lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven where neither rust nor moths can destroy and theives cannot break in and steal." So true.

Well, tomorrow Greg and I are off to San Diego! YES!! Fun and a conference to boot! Take care.