iamjani's Xanga

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Sun, 28 Sep 2008 03:36:48 GMT

There's just too much to think about, yet it seems like I shouldn't be thinking about anything.

Sometimes, it just seems like I have never made a choice that followed the majority under similar situations. This is giving me a headache..

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 14:51:25 GMT

It makes me even more scared..

Friday, August 15, 2008

Fri, 15 Aug 2008 15:09:58 GMT

我不知到祂想我怎樣做, 但也不想倚靠自己的聰明。

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 16:39:27 GMT

我害怕的是神的安排。

Saturday, August 09, 2008

Sat, 09 Aug 2008 08:14:04 GMT

I have gotten back for a week already but am still very unmotivated to adjust to the hong kong time. It's so nice to sleep whenever I feel tired and feel the peace when I am up and everyone's asleep. Lots of productive thoughts have come into my mind. I guess I really needed this break. A lot of things also came to focus in my heart.

Monday, August 04, 2008

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 02:36:52 GMT

Ghost is a great movie to watch at night

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 15:49:54 GMT

Mon, 2007-12-03 23:00.

Kella

Wedding ring saves life of man whose antiques shop was being robbed
JACKSON, Miss. - Donnie Register has a new reason to be thankful he's married - police say his wedding band deflected a bullet and probably saved his life.
Police Sgt. Jeffrey Scott says two men walked into Register's shop at The Antique Market on Saturday and asked to see a coin collection.
When Register retrieved the collection, one of the men pulled a gun and demanded money.
A shot was fired as Register threw up his left hand, and his wedding ring deflected the bullet, police said.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 05:37:13 GMT

What is keeping me awake at night is the loniness.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Tue, 08 Jul 2008 02:29:53 GMT

Almost everytime I'm with a new group of friends, someone brings up this question to break the ice: "So, do you think there's only one person for you, or do you think there's a lot of people you could be happy with?"

And every time they ask that question, I answer, "I think there's a lot of people I could potentially marry and live happily-ever-after with, but God only leads me to one of them (two if the first guy dies on me, and then I remarry)...or maybe He just orchestrates it so I don't meet any of the 10 guys I could potentially be with, so instead, I become a bird lady."

"Neurotic," the other party says, to which I reply -

"Sap."

My mom, ever the romantic even after more than two decades of marriage, begged to differ. "I know that God has a really good guy in mind for you," she says whenever I visit home, still unquestionably single. She's even given him a name - Boaz - after Ruth's husband.

Now that I'm one year away from graduating, I wonder a lot about what God has in store for my future, and whether He has only one future planned or several alternatives. Is there really only ONE job where I could flourish, ONE guy I can marry, ONE place I can settle down in, ONE church I can attend?

I worry about misreading God's plan so much that I sometimes forget to just live. Take grad school for example - does God want me to go, or does He want me to pursue a career for the time being? What if I chose the "wrong" option, God's plan got derailed (can humans even do that?), and He had to do serious damage control? Does God have a plan B just in case I pick the "wrong" thing?

Think of it this way - with the premise that you're single and that "one and only" soulmates do in fact, exist - that yours lives in Venezuela while you live in Ohio. Say God called you to be a missionary in Venezuela, but you chose the fab life as a publisher in New York instead. Would you just never been the soulmate in Venezuela (God says: "Too bad, you didn't follow my call so WELCOME TO SINGLEHOOD....FOREVER) or does God have someone else lined up for you in New York? And then think about Venezuelan guy/girl. Say you DO become a missionary and that person moves to Denmark. Then what?

I just wonder if God's plan is contingent on our decisions - humans are so prone to stubborness and making mistakes that I don't know how God can even plan stuff for us.

It's a little early for me to be thinking about marriage or kids, but I sometimes wonder if I'm destined for a second-rate existence just because I turned that one guy down...

Do you think God has only ONE calling for you? Do you every worry that your mistakes may actually derail God's plan?

From: Here

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 04:22:41 GMT

Moment of the day:

JJ: Oh my god! We are watching Niagara Falls at night! It's the Falls!!!
Binh: Yes, I know.
JJ: This is one of the most magnificent thing in the world and it is right in front of me.. but watching this doesn't make me happy at all.. why?
Binh: No, I am bored too. I guess I was excited at the first few minutes of watching it.

-Silence-