| Ramblings at 6amThere’s a certain amount of unnerving liberation that happens when you take a step away from Xanga for a while. A few years later you stroll through and look up old “buddies” whose blogs you once read incessantly. Since my return to Xanga I have done so and have come to a disturbing conclusion. I see an interesting representation of a society based completely on one’s own story. Xanga was one step away from Facebook in this way, an abbreviation of a representation of our society. I had gotten used to the simple objective reasoning behind popularity with Facebook. You got friends through looking good. Generally good-looking people are more popular. Generally, good-looking people get the creepy friend request from the outcast or social deviant. But here on Xanga…there’s something else. People are not just summoned by objectification of a pretty picture (don’t get me wrong, to get subscriptions you either have to be good looking or have some kind of simple [yet oh-so-complex!] hook to reel in footprints and comments). But therein lies something deeper. The power of the written word, not just to woo but to lead.
This makes Xanga a scary place, to me. It gives a platform without requiring sufficient credentials. At least I can take comfort in the fact that the pretty face reigns on Facebook and not some megalomaniac-in-waiting turning the masses into their own personal zombies. And, the thing that chills me the most is that I think I just roughly described the difference between democracy and monarchy without meaning to…hah. I think I’m gonna move to Britain.
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| Quite a...two years.It's frustrating when people misunderstand your actions. Depression is taken for laziness. Frustration with one's self is taken for anger at others. And caring for someone is taken for being "in love." (Etc, etc...) Sorry it's been so long xanga. It's been quite a...two years. |
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| It has been a while! I got a new camera... 
I'm gonna have some fun with this one. :) -b |
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| Before this year I had never been in love before. I had always wondered and doubted the existence of a euphoric state of compatibility and attraction working together to form some kind of consummate love. I thought that anyone could feel that way for anyone if they really tried. For the most part I was wrong in doubting that. God has created certain people who just fit better than others. Unrequited love is one of the most emotionally painful experiences a person can go through. It can also be the biggest growing experience you would ever go through and if you truly love that person that you are "in love" with then letting them go so that they can be happy can almost be a happy experience for you as well. But... at the same time it can feel like the hardest thing you will ever have to do. -b |
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| In response to a well-intentioned friend: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away." 1 Cor 13:4-8 -b |
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