Fear has gripped me, I am so scared to step out, yet at the…

Try Again	When all has failed doing what is right, try again

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Posted by: igot3kids Original: 8/16/2005 4:14 PM Views: 14 Comments: 4 eProps: 6 Read Comments Post a Comment Back to Your Xanga Site

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Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Fear has gripped me, I am so scared to step out, yet at the same time excited. It is getting harder and harder each passing day to step out in faith. Dad at this point is making it very hard to go. I can only try to understand the emotions that they must be fighting off, but it makes me feel so guilty, then it sets in and turns to fear, then to uncertainty. Is that wrong? Am I not trusting enough in God? All of this outside influence makes me question, but when I get alone with God, things seem to become clear and make sense, that, yes, we are to move. I'm just so scared. I sooooo don't want to be out of the will of God, but at the same time I don't want to stay where we are and wonder the rest of our lives, did we miss God? I understand that mom and dad just want us to do right, but I get the feeling that because it is not acording to their timimg that it is not right. And that is making me feel so intimidated, I have a hard time even looking them in the eye, I am not hiding anything, it is just that factor and guilt feeling like we are screwing them over that makes it hard. Please pray for us. Our prayer right now is and has been as of late, "God, if by some chance this is not your will, slam the door shut. But, if it is, give everyone involved in our lives a peace about it, and send replacements to this church body." I just don't understand is all, everyone that we have talked to has said this will be good for Tami and I. This will cause us to grow. This will cause us to be independent. This will cause us to be totally dependent on God. I just hope that this fear is only something natural.

Posted 8/16/2005 4:14 PM - 14 views - 4 comments

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4 Comments

You don't know me, but I've been checking out your blog through your brother's Xanga. I feel that I may have a bit of insight concerning your moving situation. A few years ago, we made a similar move from Ohio to Missouri which didn't make any sense to my family. We knew the Lord wanted us to move. We had some ideas about why we were going where we were going, but we couldn't put our finger on it. At the time, we had two boys, ages 3 and 1. My parents were very upset about the move. They refused to believe that it could be God's timing for us to move. For my mom, it was horrible that we were 'taking the kids away from her'. It seemed 'illogical' in her eyes to leave a perfectly good job, an associate pastorship, a lot of friends, and all of my immediate family, just to go 'gallivanting' off into nowhere with no pinpoint purpose.

I won't go into the whole story, but I will say this... since we left Ohio, my wife has truly given her life to the Lord Jesus Christ, and God is doing a tremendous work of healing in her. I am walking in greater freedom over sin than I ever have, my marriage is 200% better, I have a better relationship with my children, and I'm confident that I'm doing God's will. Not only that, the Lord has begun healing so many wounds in my parents, and the rest of my family. Me and my mom are no longer bitter toward one another... it's amazing all that God has done. Now we couldn't have foreseen all of these wonderful works of God happening way back then.

I think the important thing is that you obey what God has put on your heart to do, and that you follow Jesus Christ no matter what.

May God bless you and be with you in the midst of the 'valley of decision'.

Posted 8/19/2005 8:24 PM by jasonwalk