iiMpeRfeCt_fLiiP's Xanga

MY MUSZIIK

Sun, 01 Jul 2007 20:05:49 GMT

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Wed, 31 Aug 2005 01:45:16 GMT

It's the First Of The Month, & I won't be grounded anymore. I think i'll buy a thing of 99 Apples. and a dub for some love :) much love too my baby shawn. No matter what, i love you. <3

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Thu, 18 Aug 2005 05:35:09 GMT

OmG. i can't take this fucking stupid ass world anymore. Im so tired of everyone knowing whats going on in "my" life. When it is none of there business. Leave me the fuck alone. And god Shawn...yeaah, he asked me back out. Then everything was cool. But then some shit happened, which i won't mention. But to the people that know, i know everything is gonna be all right. Even though things seem bad right now, and trust me i know they do. But anyways im pissed right now, so i'll say whats on my mind. So yeah me and Shawn going back out evrything being all right...chheeyyaa. So me& Shawn go over to his Cousin Pookie's house right. When we were there this guy i know named P" shows up, right. And i looked at him, because at first i didn't recognize him. But then later on i keep looking and realize who he is, while Shawn thinks im checkin P" out. And the whole time i was there Shawn was with his cousin. So i got pissed. And i wanted to go take a shower. So i was even more pissed because i was hella far from home. But anyways, the next day me and Shawn were "walking home" in the fucking hot blazing sun, when all the sudden he says, "why are you all ways acting shady?" i was like, what the fuck. He was trippin' on me. And i know this doesn't sound like a big deal, but if you knew what happened earlier that week, Shit...you don't even know. But then we were at the point where he has to take his turn to go home, (by "A's") house. Yeah and he was like, Bye im going home. Then he walked off. I had to walk hella far, by myself, and in the hot sun. I was pissed. And i haven't talked to Shawn since. But i think that i need to. I still Love him but we need a break, i think. 2 more years of Probation, and he's gone for good. here's a quote to think about that some one told me. "Be Good, Or Be Good At It." think about it. Shawn told it to me. Now i know what it means. Oh, yeah my birthday was yesterday.... Yeah for me...not like it matters.

Monday, August 08, 2005

Mon, 08 Aug 2005 22:50:32 GMT

Omg i think im gonna cry, i finally got to talk to Shawn...He got out of jail yesterday,&i called to talk to Ashley and, He answered. I never felt so happy in my entire life! if you knew how i felt...God im so overjoyed with love for him. I truly think he is the one. I don't care if he is twenty two, and i don't care what those hating people say. Hahaha. He told me about this gay guy in jail that liked him, hahaha. Thats sick, hope he didnt "drop the soap" But he said he is not smoking or drinking anymore...i told him that is good. I told him i want to quit sometime soon. That was stupid to say, but i wan't to try, anything for him. Everday he was gone all i could think about was him.... And still everday that i am not with him i think of him, Evertime i hear Celly Cel-"It's Goin' Down Tonight" i think of all the memories we had together just chillin with the homies drinking&smoking and just having a good time. But times like that are over. Then when i was at home i was just kickin' it with my brother drinking yah know just chillin, but then he turned on Celly Cel...& i started to cry. He asked me whats wrong? then he saw my tattoo on my hand which say's "I <3 S.W" i left the room & wen't to sleep, he called up all my friends and asked them if they knew what was wrong with me, they didn't know, because know one knows. Only one person, Which is Shawn I tried to tell him today that i was sorry for the thing that i said to him that day that i lat saw him before he...wen't to jail. I don't care what he does, i will all ways love him for who he is. And hopefully he is the same way with me. I talked to him today this morning, he told me to stay good. I will, Only for him. I still cry, he is still leaving back to school. I don't want him to leave, if i was miserable with out him for just that month. Then i think i might die when he is gone for a couple years. What if he is different when he comes back. I don't want things to change. Especially him. I wonder if he still loves me...

Sunday, July 31, 2005

Sun, 31 Jul 2005 23:15:39 GMT

...Wake Up It's Tha 1st Of The Month!...bump tha Bone!

ii Loved being up in Port Townsend&Carnation. I got hella dark&shit. hahaha. Plus i met hella Natives, Not to mention i met hellla of Alberta's cousins. I beacme so close to everyone out there. I can't wait to go back up there with Alberta on Thursday.i also got sunburned! it hurts so bad! Yeah. She spent the night last night, We drank Tequila Gold, we used my shot glasses. Oh yeah then we wen't to the store with my brOther and he bought me&Berta each a sparks. We also drank hella Rockstars...Yeaeeaahh, my dad bought me a 24 pack. I only have like 14 now maybe 16...tehehe. We had fun we stayed up till like 4:?? something in the morning mostly just talking drinking&listening to Bone Thugs-N-Harmony it was hella fun. The she wen't to church with me this morning. Yeah...we also talked about Shawn...i miss him so much...i don't want him to be in jail anymore...i need him back in my life...:(. Everday i think about him..Even when i was up in Carnation&Port with hella bombass guys up there, still,...all i could think about was Shawn.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Wed, 06 Jul 2005 01:43:29 GMT

LoveIsHate!.?.when i got home, i learned my lesson. Why should i make my parents worry so much about me for nothing. Over my friends, over Shawn? i hate shawn. i know i shouldn't i have no reason to hate him, or Jessica, well there is a reason for her but it does not really involve Shawn. Me and shawn are officially over. i'll never talk to him agian. He's supposedlly leaving in about a month to go back to school...maybe its for the best. I know he still likes Jessica. I hope they are happy, even though he told me he didnt want to be with any one, im not stupid i know that right after i left he called Jessica and asked her back out. He said i only dated him to get Jessica mad, but that wasnt the reason, i really did like him. Then he asked me why i had to ruin it for him and jessica!! he blamed me. The last words i said to him were, " IM SORRY FOR RUINING YOUR LIFE" i havent talked to him since. I told my brother about me and Shawn, i told him everything. Now my brother want to kick his ass, so freaking bad. Even though i hate Shawn i don't want him to get his ass kicked by my brother. Ashleys parents all ready hate me. And im sorry Ashley i should have never messed with Shawn. I was stupid, and i know you didnt want it to happen but i did it any ways. And Alberta im sorry for everything that has happened to you. i don't know exactly what you feel, but im pretty close. Im sorry, to everyone. i feel as if you and Ashley hate me. You guys have a reason too. Iv'e done so much shit. I would understand if you guys did...as i still cry every night thinking about him. i know things will never be the same...†