| | This time, we're not giving up;I'm back yo! Here you go people, I haven't blogged for like one month plus ): See what school does to you? Actually, school's only like 60% of the reason, I guess. Why doesn't Nazi wanna blog? I dunno, really. In a way, I gues I can't really express like ALL my feelings when I blog. Some people can, but I can't. I keep a journal, or at least I used to, but then sometimes I have to much to write or I pen things down really forcefully that my hand ends up cramping halfway, and still I have feelings stuck inside. Talking works for me the best, I suppose(with nadhira, moni, lynn and more). I mean, and with everyone's so busy lately (or maybe I'm too busy for them), I end up being all distorted and angry/confused inside. There's another word for how I feel, which I don't know. Ugh. I feel guilty when people say that I'm happy and carefree all the time. I guess I am sometimes, because I try to be. But then sometimes when I feel really down and someone says that, I feel as though I'm fooling them or something. Something's wrong with me ): To make it worse, I'm really bad at showing my feelings, I've been taught and brought up that way. But sometimes, I just feel like showing it you know. I hate it how some people think that they're the saddest, or most unlucky, or busiest or whatever, and then they think they can just say anything they want or do anything they want to you because apparently, you're very happy and you don't care so they can hurt you. I really hate it! It makes me feel like "I'm not good enough" or my feeling don't matter or something. And it's SICK how these people can still call you their friends! They probably think they're better than you, in what terms I dunno. I just feel very sad and disappointed, that's all. See why I dun wanna blog? It's like no point like that. It's not as if these people will change. It's become somewhat of a part of them. I don't know how long I can take this. Frankly, I think I'm very tolerant. I mean lotsa things have happened and I know lotsa people like this, but I've never said a word (God knows if this is good or bad). And I can't tell this people because they're cunnng. They'll just end up twisting your words and reporting to someone else behind your back, as if I don't know. See, there's really no point. I'm not in the right position to tell them, I guess. "I'm not good enough for them", remember? And even if I talk about it to someone else(not even them), I feel like crying. And I hate it because I cry everytime I'm angry and I don't wanna cry. Especially about things like this. But then again, when I think about it, I'm like, "Why should I care? They'll end up ruining themselves anyway, and they'll find it hard to find friends in the future. Nothing to do with me". But then again, I realised that I'll be spending much time with these people, so I might as well just bear with it, and explode when it gets too much (and honestly, I think this will happen soon). It's like a volcano you know, with my magma boiling and the big shell covering my heart is cracking. Soon, everything's gonna spill out and I'm gonna end up killing people with all the poisonous gases and ash, not the magma itself though. I'm trying to describe this in the most simplest manner as possible, so you guys understand. Sigh, I think I'll end up getting gray hairs and eye bags by the half of this year, I'm sighing a lot also. EEEEEEEE!
Alrighteeey, then here comes the thing EVERYONE KEEPS ASKING ME NOW:
Hahahah! I want the army dudes and the gurkhas back at school! They're damm cool, I tell you! Then they line the pavement on both sides and when you walk, you feel like some kind of royalty! Yeah mann! And they stand near the school forest there, then Adilah and I shouted "YO!" loudly from above and the dude leaning against a tree looked up and saw me luhh! Screw Adilah. Hahahah! AND THE MALAY BOARD IS FANTASTIC MAN! It's called art, all you critics. Haha Adilah, Belle, Deanna, Joelle and I did it. Who ever knew not going to OBS and rotting away in school could produce interesting results? And BTW, I still can't figure out how Mas Selamat Kastari could escape from an ISD just like that. In my opinion, there sre only 2 reasons: One, it was an inside job and two, the officers were too complacent (I mean who can blame them if the whole country is like that, including me before this incident):
See what I mean? Hahah I was laughing like crap when Ms Seow showed us the first photo in class. I found the second one at a forum online. Google is really helpful, friends.
Next, B'Div. Err... We got third in zome. Yeah. Not first like we really worked hard for but nonetheless, we're still going to nationals. We have Unity, Bedok North and Yishun Town in our Group D. AT first I felt quite delighted, but then I heard that Unity is really good so....... yeah. Hahahh! Well, what can I say really? I don't think we've ever played any of these schools (at least more than once) before. Before we collected the medals and plaque during the prize presentation, we watched the finals matches. I don't want to talk about the RG-Yuying one, so I shall about the Catholic High-Queenstown one:
^This is not a lay-up. NOPE. This is called flying. YUPP. Hahah and that's us in the background. Notice all the "O"s on our faces! Yeah. 101-45, yo.
Nationals is the week after. I'm quite nervous cause Jiao Lian said that she expected more from me in nationals, in other words, "no mistakes". bgsfgbsgfisbhgk! Hahahhah, in other words, "oh s***". We're not allowed to say "shit", "die" or "damn" or "sucks" and other derogatory words anymore because Ms Chuan is superr strict about it luhh. Hahah 10 push-ups mann.. Sigh. I think I'm not really affected though cause I say "s***" only on special occasions. "shucks" sounds nicer(: Hehh.
I'll end here, trg's at 9 tmrw. And my back really hurts. I think it's cause of ball handling-s last Thursday. It's so painful, I don't know whether it's a muscle strain, or muscle ache, or sprain or twist or what. It just hurts everytime I move. In other words, everytime. Yeah...
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