Well i made a new xanga. This one just keeps messing up i'd really really love it if you girls would subscribe to my new one. I'd love to have all your support.

 Stay Strong<3

   My new xanga is.       beauty_in_the_loss_of_sanity

                                      much much much love.

  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

 So sorry for being gone so long. For awhile my internet service was cut off, then we got a new one and it's slower than a dead turtle lol. So much has being going on, so MUCH. Lost my virginity to my boy friend of only 3 months, but were still togethar, and happy somewhat. Gained weight, lost, gained, lost, and now gained. I'm driving my-self insane. I feel HUGE, but this time i really am huge. Dont kno how much i weigh, but i kno its ALOT. Im happy but im not, im just confused. School ends in 6 days. Then im going to high school, and im so scared im going to fuck up. I got accepted in to a major Honors English class, and you can NOT mess up in here, it's a really big class. Im scared as hell. Lately, i cant sleep. Migrains. Either im not eating at all, or eating way to much. I just need to get my weight under control. Im loosing everything. How can i do this to my-self? I was so close to control, now im past failure. I'm going to try and update more often, and start getting on track, with you girls help i kno i can get some control.

 much love

CW-161!!

Im so excited about my new weight! It's a start to somthing great!! I hope everyones doing good, i bet you girls are. The past 2-3 days i have had this ..eh..horrible pimple right next to my lip! I finally just got it popped uh. I NEVER get pimples i've only had like 5 or 6 my whole life, i have very good skin. Well, ladies tea/water and crackers help alot! Just eating that for a day or 2 you can drop weight quick! You should try it ma dears. I started therapy today, and it didnt go as bad as i thought it would. He is really nice, and i think he'll help me with some of my problems. Im NEVER going to mention my eating habits and stuff. One of the questiuons he asked disturbed me. it was"how are your eating habits?" my answer simply was "normal" he was like" well they may be normal to you but not to others" i just was so shocked but i covered it and bla bla bla. i have a doctors appointment next week to check 9in on my migrains and a weigh in. ugh i hate those. :/ ha but im hoping to loose 5 pounds by then. I will, i WILL!! lol im in a very good mood today:)

THINSPO

STAY STRONG<3<3

Didnt go to school again today. So im gana have to take all of my tests tomorrow :/ that's gana be alot of strees...Im so tired!! I have been sleeping none stop for the pastm 2-3 days and i just cant seem to get enough rest. Do you girls think diet pills help? I was thinking of tying some if it was at a pretty good price, and would actually work, any recomendations?

Thats a picture from February. Can you see any differance at all? Uh, im so huge, :/ just looking at it you can tell how many days  i've failed, how many fuck ups i've had. It's shamful....

THINSPO

Will I ever be beautiful?

STAY STRONG<3 STARVE ON<3

CW???

 Didnt feel like weighing...felt to fat.  I have had a migrain for 2 days now, and it sucks, i have 9weeks test the next 2days and im dreading it. I wasnt at school today so I dnt have the study guides 2 study so im kinda screwed there :/. But whatever lol. Tonight im not gana exercise im gana do some homework and just rest.

THINSPO

 Next Monday, me and Justin will have been going out 1 month. Not that long, but we've grown pretty

atatched 2eachother. He told me he loved me Monday, It was sweet.

STAY STRONG<3