AHEM AHEM. *pounds desk with 5-ton gavel and watches balefully as wood caves in on foot* THE FIRST DETAIL OF THE SUPPORT GROUP MEETING SHALL NOW COME TO ORDER YEA.
Objective: How to Deny things You Shouldn't Be Acknowledging the Existence Of In the First Place
Solution: Eradicate all evidence. BURN IT. If it's not physical, make it so. Print it out.. then BURN it. Watch the fire's flames dance and flicker and via order of nature, transform paper into ashes. Fitting, innit. Ashes to ashes .. that biblical stuff.. yeh.
Then take a deep breath, maybe utter a short prayer, shored for convenience so it goes like "Mmm. dear Deity, it me again, bye" and then stick your head innit. By "it", we mean the fire.
Your audience will consist of the rest of the members of the Support Group who, inspired by your daring perfomance (see Bonus: have inspired others), have followed your example immediately. Fire is big enough for all. Not to worry.
Make sure eyes are open. When you retract head, problem of Seeing Things That Shouldn't Exist is cured.
Odor of crackling flesh can then be lessened by bucket of perfume in which you, being unable to generally see anything beyond an all-consuming black, will attempt to aim your head at. After you've banged your head against several convenient rocks, impaled it on some stick lying around -- because people are too lazy to pick 'em up -- run into a tree, and knocked around a few times with the other members' heads, eliciting nervous screams and giggles of "OWYOURHFHREGOW", as they are also busy aiming for perfume bucket, you will make it -- courtesy of that earlier prayer to Deity.
(Deity is grateful, as Deity is lounging on some cloud above, watching your antics and muffling giggles with fistfuls of buttered microwave popcorn. If you hadn't been playing with fire, Deity would've been sweeping the clouds which is oh-so-boring, considering how last week he tricked all the cloudsweepers into sticking their heads into the Sun.)
Searing pain and howling while plunging into bucket of perfume are also symptoms of denial. You're not pure enough, idiot. Feel back to the fire by heat. This time, keep your mouth open. If you are smart, this attempt will end in success.
YOU ARE CURED.
YAY!!! Drinks all around! Biscuits! Tea!!! BEER!! Your choice of liquid. That perfume is still there, y'know, and locks of burnt hair merely adds flava. | 