illucid_illness's Xanga

Saturday, January 01, 2005

Sat, 01 Jan 2005 06:50:55 GMT

Holy crap. I returned to this blog to scope out for possible college essay material and I realized that unless I want all my colleges to think they're accepting an anxiety-ridden, depressive intellectually obsessed little weirdo....................... this Xanga is pretty barren -_- so I give you.......

ZIS.

Also I've publicized half of my old entries. Why? dunno... they don't hold the same ghosts for me as they used to anymore. But kind of cool to keep it up as an archived day-to-day textual documentary on How She Grew. I really have changed a great deal. Become more lucid :P Probably not returning.. I blog jump enough as it is.

This is the weirdest thing--looking back and reading all my old stuff, I swear my writing has deproved. To express my horror....

O_O

Since it's the New Year--and I hope all of you are having a good one--I'm drunk and posting. Oddly enough, the punctuation grammar frontal lobes of my brain are still currently functioning WOT BOT DAT EY. jj.. not drunk. Only REALLY REALLY hardcore grammar nazis could be drunk and still maintain proper grippage of the language.

HAPPY 2005 ALL!

watch this terribly inspiring message careen out of nowhere.. 2005: you will follow through on at least 1/4 of your resolutions. find your true love. conquer a demon. realize where you're heading towards. find a faith. fill your stomach. make your eyes happy. (and you're not reading this shitfaced drunk right now, ARE YOU.) learn to accept everything of yourself, insecurities, weaknesses, all the crappy icky swampthings.

HEY YOU: This year is going to be better than last year. OKie dokie?

And also I work for Hallmark. WEEEE.

Friday, January 23, 2004

Fri, 23 Jan 2004 04:04:39 GMT

AHEM AHEM. *pounds desk with 5-ton gavel and watches balefully as wood caves in on foot* THE FIRST DETAIL OF THE SUPPORT GROUP MEETING SHALL NOW COME TO ORDER YEA.

Objective: How to Deny things You Shouldn't Be Acknowledging the Existence Of In the First Place

Solution: Eradicate all evidence. BURN IT. If it's not physical, make it so. Print it out.. then BURN it. Watch the fire's flames dance and flicker and via order of nature, transform paper into ashes. Fitting, innit. Ashes to ashes .. that biblical stuff.. yeh.

Then take a deep breath, maybe utter a short prayer, shored for convenience so it goes like "Mmm. dear Deity, it me again, bye" and then stick your head innit. By "it", we mean the fire.

Your audience will consist of the rest of the members of the Support Group who, inspired by your daring perfomance (see Bonus: have inspired others), have followed your example immediately. Fire is big enough for all. Not to worry.

Make sure eyes are open. When you retract head, problem of Seeing Things That Shouldn't Exist is cured.

Odor of crackling flesh can then be lessened by bucket of perfume in which you, being unable to generally see anything beyond an all-consuming black, will attempt to aim your head at. After you've banged your head against several convenient rocks, impaled it on some stick lying around -- because people are too lazy to pick 'em up -- run into a tree, and knocked around a few times with the other members' heads, eliciting nervous screams and giggles of "OWYOURHFHREGOW", as they are also busy aiming for perfume bucket, you will make it -- courtesy of that earlier prayer to Deity.

(Deity is grateful, as Deity is lounging on some cloud above, watching your antics and muffling giggles with fistfuls of buttered microwave popcorn. If you hadn't been playing with fire, Deity would've been sweeping the clouds which is oh-so-boring, considering how last week he tricked all the cloudsweepers into sticking their heads into the Sun.)

Searing pain and howling while plunging into bucket of perfume are also symptoms of denial. You're not pure enough, idiot. Feel back to the fire by heat. This time, keep your mouth open. If you are smart, this attempt will end in success.

YOU ARE CURED.

YAY!!! Drinks all around! Biscuits! Tea!!! BEER!! Your choice of liquid. That perfume is still there, y'know, and locks of burnt hair merely adds flava.

Friday, January 23, 2004

Fri, 23 Jan 2004 03:54:44 GMT

REALLY!!

Thursday, January 15, 2004

Thu, 15 Jan 2004 01:03:24 GMT

Seriously, after all this ceremony and suspense, there BETTER be some good honest-to-God snow tomorrow morning. Six inches of thick, Real Ice blocking the entrance to the school and one mean chem test. 'Cept I actually get Chapter 8. I DO! Atoms, and nucleus, and protons, and JJThomson who suddenly is my best friend.

Tuesday, January 06, 2004

Tue, 06 Jan 2004 04:29:20 GMT

holy small mackerel, men. I could not sleep last night

while contemplating fish

the way they sink in ocean

and gulp in bubble and

just basically scale.

Tuesday, December 30, 2003

Tue, 30 Dec 2003 04:31:40 GMT

I LOVE CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW!!! AAGH!! THE SMIRK! THE SLUR! THE SWISH! SQUEEE!!!! This man has revolutionized the Pirate. i now solemnly profess a case of Unrequited Love. La la la. Off to be a piratess. Now I UNDERSTAND the previous weirdness of all the yaarghing and crossbones. It IS MAJORLY COOl. Savvy? Sadly enough, I've dled soundclips from the movie, just because his voice and inflections are frickin' hilarious. "You're not an eunuch, are you?"

Five million points to whoever catches subtext. Thppbtbt.

Tuesday, December 30, 2003

Tue, 30 Dec 2003 00:03:04 GMT

anita mui.

Thursday, December 25, 2003

Thu, 25 Dec 2003 05:24:22 GMT

MERRRRRRUY CRISSSSMASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! <!-- severe Gollum tendency showing up in speech -_-; back from the Chasm, eh? ^____^ (..why are people adding "Happy New Year" when it hasn't come yet?! WHY? )

May Santa grace all your chimneys with his self and empty his bag into those stocking ( or pantyhose, whatever you choose ); and make sure all the cracklin' fires are put out because there's nottin' like having a guy in your fireplace the next morning to dampen the Crissmas spirit and make your little kids toddle over, poke the smoking carcass, twitch, and then turn to you with big HUGE bambi weepy eyes, eliciting The obligatory "Life and Death" speech, which you mangle due to lack of practice, thus scarring the children for life, and spawning future homocidal mall Santas.

O the chiles, the Poor, poor chiles.

And it really don't feel like the way a proper December 25th should ;( on account of it being all gray and rainy. *sigh* "..Of a Whiteeee chrissmasss", they drone on the radio. DREAM ON. which, incidentally, is a Depeche Mode song.

Lala, I wanted to buy the ugliest pair of shoes the other day. SO UGLY. But when you slipped your feet into them.. ;3 SO COMFORTABLE. Was prancing around happily, braying the goodness of Comfort Over Style until Mum appeared on the horizon, scanned me from head to toe, and said scathingly, "Those are GRANNY shoes." Though I pleaded and pleaded, I eventually surrendered and withdrew the blue things ( and just as I was getting in touch wif my heritage) from my feet.

/end pointless story

However I made up for it by purchasing the UGLIEST dollar stuffed snowman 2 days ago. ( Had to debate between that and another one whose head was clean off. ) One of those handicraft things that is so ugly that it has reached the border of.. cute.

Also, my dad backed into an old guy on the same day, in the parking lot of Sports Authority. Ehehe, funny because it seemed straight out of a Simpsons episode. (As a matter of fact, I think it IS O_O eh? if so, then the following is a blatant ripoff ) Nobody was hurt... though the old guy was obviously a little annoyed, and sputtered.

Me and my brother then promptly began talking the merits of a program featuring old men with back problems beelining to car bumpers for an Insta-Fix. Ba-BUMP. And voila! Crack, crack, hey.. my back.. it's .. it's all better now!

..Okay we're the only ones who find this amusing -_- AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHHa.

hem. ;3

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

Tue, 23 Dec 2003 19:04:08 GMT

Whoever still has my pencil case, I fucking DESPISE YOU and I should like you to burn in the inner circle of hell solely reserved for people who stumble across packs of diskettes in pencil cases and don't return it despite the fact I've labeled them "IF FOUND PLEASE RETURN TO ____ _____ OF HOMEROOM 213. DO NOT FEED TO PENGUINS."

It is not difficult, peoples, not difficult at allsome. Like you know how those red octagons at the end of streets say "STOP"? And you obey that? Yehh.

*slakes rage by lightning-bolting a small ugly fly*

I'd ask you to excuse my lack of tact, but the fact that someone is cradling all my disks of personal writings really pisses the shit out of me. It's like getting your journal nicked. That fucking sinking feeling like an anchor dropping from a ship to the bottom of yer tummy. Like you realize you're 0.00003423 cm from the precipice and OH! screw metaphors. Okay. This certainly teaches me to back my disks up, huh? Altho it gets kinda tedious when one continually needs to add... gah, JUST RETURN IT!!!!!!!!!!

..AND THE LAW OF PROPER EXCLAMATION MARKING HATH BEEN BROKEN! THE END OF THE WORLD HATH COMETH!!

Monday, December 22, 2003

Mon, 22 Dec 2003 03:34:38 GMT

Her left eyeball fell out. Yet she diligently plunged on. Her baby project WILL be finished.