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| i really just want to kill myself sometimes.i fucked up.. again, thanks to my fucking step mom! arggg, i ate a fucking bagel,1/2 of a muffin and dinner, which i don't even wanna talk about!!
to be honest, i wasn't even that hungry, i didn't even have any cravings, but she was like, "you didn't eat anything all morning, and your working" so i had to
i'm starting again, it should go okay, hopefully my fast buddy will still do it with me :) lol its okay shell just finnish a day before me, not even really- different time zones lol
it was funny because when I first ate the bagel i felt this really gross fat bloated feeling, which i dont have too often.
whatever this will all be worth it, my parents will love me again, ill finally get a fucking date, and ill finally have control of this one fucking thing in my life.
I NOW RELIZE I CAN DO THIS
you know what should help motivate me, im going to FLORIDA for my spring break (April 16th im leaving) and im going to be brining BIKINIS! AH! lol it should help me alot, i want to try to loose 5lbs (at least) by then!
i'm launching an online magazine called 'Project Thinspo' it should be promising, if you have any ideas of what i should do with it (besides a head of thinspo in each issue :) ) let me know, and if you want to help out let me know as well! Our cover girl for the 1st issue is no other thannicole richie! lol
ps:im going to the gym tues, i would go tomorrow but i have work.
fucking fast fast fast
-start time: 530p.m EST
total hours: 01
stay strong girlies, and good luck
ps thanks for all the support!
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| ugh.so my fast ended at 42 hours, with a binge non the less. i'm so disappointed with myself. so much in fact that i'm doing a new fast, im not stopping until at-least wednesday. hopefully i an make it longer, im really going to try.
I CAN DO THIS
anyone want to join with me? we can be fast-buddies :)
new fast
start- 430 EST
total hours: 8
ps:
can someone tell me how to purge, i know thats a weird Q but everytime i try to, i just cough up some like acid lol
grossss question, but i need help lmao.
psII: fasting info.
- After day 5 the desire for food will dramatically drop
- After day 10 hunger levels for the most part will be non-existing and energy levels will rise
- Expect to lose at least a pound a day
- Drink 5-10 glasses of water a day
- Stay clear of exercise
- Get rid of headaches by drinking peppermint tea or by taking a potassium supplement
thinspo
^i wanna do that :)
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| continued :)so i think im ending my fast on the 36th hour, if i can make it 48 or longer i will; but i can feel myself getting grumpier. so i decided to have some coffee, which really up'ed my mood :) its also like, (not to be too gross) helping my digestion which is a helper ;)
intake
water water water water water
2 cups of coffee: 120(20) : 240
i didn't get to go the gym. i was hella tired, thats one thing that sucks, fasting like drains you of any energy. hopefully if it stops raining cats and dogs, ill be able to go tomorrow. before baby-sitting that is. its such an easy job (kids are sleeping) and i get paid pretty good. the only downside is that she has lots of food lmao. ill have to keep myself preoccupied- hopefully top model will be on as a thinspo ;)
im just going to keep thinking of my friend who is ana, and my old middle school teacher who used to be. i can fucking do this i swear to god.
FAST!
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| SUCK IT UP BITCHi'm sick of failure. i going to do it this time, if it KILLS me.
and so i can prove to myself i'm not a pussy im starting it off with a bang- LUQID FAST!
oh && i'm going to the gym tomorrow, i have soo much to work for this time to. Fl for spring break (maybe?) and 2 new bikinis that i look GROSS in, but having them helps me. i think of them all the time.
oh and now i have a gym membership. ballys baby! :)
i want to be inspiration for everyone, so i'm going to do it!
my new bikinis:
  
FAST
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edit: //
gym later, maybe im so dead tired from not eating lol.
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