Think I'm tired of xanga again.  It's like a burden more than a release anymore.  I probably won't post for a while if you couldn't already tell.  I'll still read other peoples' and make comments though.

Keep the faith my friends.

Waking Up To Tears

Sunlight and conviction greeted me this morning, and as my eyes strained to take in the first, my heart strained to take in the second.  I talk to God when I am waking up, for one I think it helps me to actually stay awake, but more importantly I find it to be the time when I am much more apt to be honest, and hear any response He might give.  I definitely got one this morning.

I felt very convicted.  This week I simply dismissed my God.  It's not that I didn't think about Him or do what I think He would want me to, it's that I never asked Him.  I let this (false) busyness get in the way, though I know that if something is a priority then we find the time to do it.  Muscians find the time to practice their art, healthy people make the time to excercise, and as someone who professes to follow Christ, I should make time for Him.  What's more, I should want that time.

I woke up to tears, as if my body was feeling the conviction on my heart.  I need Jesus it seems, spiritually, mentally, and even physically.  Nothing is accomplished without prayer, and a humble spirit toward God.  He taught me that again this morning.

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.  Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.  Hebrews 12:11

Weird discussions, sit ups, and the question why

So I got up this morning, and instead of going to the gym, I went running in the park near my house.  After I finished my one lap I was thoroughly exhausted.  It's weird, I can go for 30 min on the elipitcal machine at the gym, but i can only run about a mile and a half.  Anyway, after I was done, I went over to the tennis court to try and make up for my horrible display of running ability with some sit ups.  So as I get done with my second set, I notice this guy and his dog walking toward me.  In the park though people are everywhere right, so most of the time you don't think much of people walking in your direction, but this guy didn't change his course, and as I winced from the pain in my stomach I could tell he was walking toward me on purpose.  I sat up and he said hello.  What was weird is as he came closer I started thinking that it was this guy from a restaurant I recently went to with a friend, and the waitress had something like he was always there and was kinda weird.  Sure enough it was the same guy.  To make what turned out to be a 2 hour conversation into a somewhat readable post, I will just say two things.

1) This was probably the most scattered brained conversation I have ever had, I literally started to laugh as he would begin talking about coral calcium suppliments after I had just finished saying something about the nature of science and how it doesn't answer questions of "why".  It was like he was wanting to talk about science, God, politics, and philosophy all at once, but when I would bring something up, he would begin talking about how it affected ketchup.  ugh.  Anyway, it became a somewhat fruitful conversation, though I had to constantly keep asking the same questions because he would never actually answer me.

2) It seems to me that people who are stuck on one area of thought miss a lot.  In the beginning of our conversation, this gentlemen said that there were 3 types of people, those who focus on science (which he added were the smart ones, those who look a facts and see things for how they really are), those who focus on social and cultural things,  and those who thought religiously (who automatically were all stupid, supersticious, extremists, and literally, the downfall of society).  Obviously there are different areas in which the same things can be discussed, but to limit oneself to just one area as the only true one seems to be the most arrogant, or detrimental thing a person can do.  I mean, even as a Christian, I don't look at life in only a religious context, but I also see the social affects, and the conclusions of science about our world and existence.  Though, I find that the 3 work together and not against one another.

Final thought.  I feel bad for people who are stuck in the thoughts of men.  Science is great, but even it has its boundaries.  If one only knows science, then in answering the questions of why, you are left with                                      .

Edit: yo yo yo, this shout out goes to Jessi Ramsey, my sister from KC.  HOLLA!

(that good enough jessi?)

Feeling Productive

I might be the only one who experiences this, but I don't think that is the case.  Somedays, when I don't do much of anything worth the time it took to do it, I do not feel productive, which is definitely as it should be.  Then there are other days where I do a whole lot, and all of it is worthy doings, but yet I still don't feel productive.  I am glad to say this has not been the case for about the past week.  I have been getting up early, and actually starting my day without the essential lazyness that usually accompanies my waking.  No sir (or ma'am), there is no laying in bed for 2 hours for no reason anymore!  All this to say that I like feeling productive, and that how one gets up has a lot to do with it I think.

This morning however, I did not want to get up really, because I am going to Ozark Fitness to work out with Matt (Cortney Dueming's boyfriend for those that don't know), and he is going to make me work out.  I hope that in some way I can make myself work out too, but I just know he is going to make me push harder than I normally do.  He was a marine, and those guys are crazy.

The past few days have been amazing in case you guys didn't notice.  I can handle summer days like this.  Earlier this week I got back from Mississippi (I feel like a kid whenever I write Mississippi, I can't spell it without singing it like a kid), and the humidity down there made it seem like you had to swim instead of walk.  But for the past few days up here it has been awesome, not too hot, a nice breeze, and you can actually go outside without instantly sweating.  I've been running in the park this week and this weather has made it fun.

God is good, and it is nice to enjoy Him in the little things.

-hal

Trying to think of someting to write, have a lot on my mind, but nothing is really coming together in any coherent manner....so here is a random thought post:

1) I wonder if many people view God the way they do because of their experiences and/or preconcieved notions, over having a view of God based on the scripture.  Also, I wonder how many people change the meaning of scripture to fit their view of God instead of changing their view of God to fit scripture.

2) Procrastination sucks, makes me feel unproductive, and I wish I knew how to beat it.

3) I hate it when you feel as if you have made someone mad, but don't really know if they are or not, and you don't have a clue why they are, or what you did to make it seem as if they were.  That was probably hard to follow for those reading it, and I'm sorry...don't mean to make you mad.

4) I like my friends, and I realized tonight that I am blessed with more than I deserve.  This statement could be applied to many areas, not just friends.

5) God is good, truly good, and I will believe it no matter how I feel, or what my emotions, philosophy, psychology, or my own cynical nature tell me.

6) I wonder how thought #1 and thought #5 work together.

7) It is amazing that God allows me to wear His robe and ring.  I just wish it didn't make my brother bitter.

In some weird way lots of these are flowing in and out and mixing with each other in my head.  I don't really have time to sit here and look at 200 peoples xanga sites, so I don't really expect any replies, since in the xanga world you only get comments if you comment.  This makes complete sense, and I am not complaining.  In truth, I think I wrote this tonight more to help me understand my own thoughts than to share them with you all, but nevertheless, I would love to hear what you think.

(striving to be) In Christ,

Hal