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| What is one thing you find yourself doing that you promised yourself you never would?eating.
and feeling insecure.
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| Nobody listens to me.
That `s how I feel.
Everytime I try to talk .. it just gets interrupted or supressed by other people talking.
I feel so fuckin invisible n shit man.
I don `t even wanna bother talking anymore cuz it `s just a waste of breath.
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| life isn `t doing me any good at all.
this week is a downer i think ..
i `m constantly tired, && don `t wanna move or do anything
&& i keep having these horrible dreams .. they `re really scary and involve me dying, or people trying to kill me or someone else.
everyday lately i `ve just been waking up && my first thought is I want to die.
Constantly throughout the day my thoughts include .. I want to die, or I just wanna kill myself.
I really hope this passes .. so I can get on with life && hopefully be happier.
I started a detox diet type thing today.
All fruits && veggies, all natural.
rice / unsalted nuts / seeds.
Nothing fried, deep fried, or battered.
No dairy other than all natural yogurt, mabey a cup of milk a day.
no chips, candy, or white bread.
no red meat, or meat products.
Mabey only a little bit of chicken, fresh fish.
No mayo / ketchup / mustard / etc.
NOTHING PROCESSED.
Hopefully it will boost my energy / mood / and just help me on my way to feel better
&& in a week or 2, I can go back to normal, but make better choices with what I eat.
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| How do you feel about the world's obsessions with weight, diet and beauty?I think it `s sad .. People shouldn `t be judged solely on looks. Personality matters more, and at the end of the day, we all look the same when we turn off the lights, && all get wrinkled when we get old. It `s who we are that makes us.
I am completely contradicting myself, though .. I do believe all the things I just said, but It `s a shame that I `ve fallen victim to this scheme && well I `m obsessed with weight, && how I look, and constantly put myself down for it.
Truth is, i `m a big woman, and my looks are never going to be above average, or ugly .. I wish the world thought differently, but it is what it is, && I gotta do whatever it is to survive, or just to be accepted.
It `s so sad too, when I look at myself.
I NEVER used to think like this until I met the media.
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| WOW.
119 footprints .. all from the same person.
looking at all of my entries // comments // other.
i feel special.
=D
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