Gosh, everything seems to be going so wrong nowadays. I don't know, it's getting me to the point where I just don't care about things anymore. I wish I could just go back into time and do everything over, the right way. But I can't, that's just not the way life works. So I guess all I can do is accept life as it is and make the best out of it.. for now.

Okay I guess I'm back onto xanga.  Since I know that no one reads this shit anyway, I'll just vent on it whenever I feel the need to. So yeah, my nephew Jaydon was born on cinco de mayo.. He's such a cutie! Another bundle of joy added into the family<3

-- Used to believe a lot of things that are just too hard for me to believe now.  I tried my best, I really did.  Cuz when it gets down to it, words don't speak.  Actions do.  That goes out to everyone, including myself.  Rather than saying that you'll always be there, show it.  I can't expect much.  I don't blame anyone, and I'm done. Played my role and did my share, if that's not good enough.. then I have nothing left to offer. I got myself into this mess, and I'll get myself out of it. I just need to carry on with my life.  I guess there will always be that one special spot, and I guess I'll be around for a while. Not gonna ask for anything anymore, I promise. Thanks for the memories.*

many things will happen throughout your lifetime -- some are good, and others are bad. you just have to accept life and take it as it is, because there's really not much that you can do to change anything about it. things happen for a reason, and sometimes moping all day and night about certain occurances throughout your lifetime isn't exactly the best solution to your problems.  it may be the only thing that you can do, or the only thing that you feel like doing.. but you have to remember that things will always get better in the end, no matter how bad they currently are.  life has it's ups and downs, but you always have to remember to stay on the positive side of life. even when you feel like no one is there for you, or you're in this world on your own, your friends will always be there by your side.  and sometimes, your friends are all that you will need to help pick yourself back up after a great fall.  they'll be the ones to help you find those missing pieces and glue you back together and make sure that you're alright in the end.  life also isn't about the amount of friends that you have. it's about the amount of people that actually are your real friends, and the amount of people that make great impacts on your life.  you'll meet many people throughout your lifetime -- some who you wish you never met, and some who affected your life for the better. i can say, that i have met that person already.. and even though things may not have ended the way that i wished it would have, i'm still going to try to keep a smile on my face and cherish every single moment of it while i slowly pick myself back up.  what can i say, i can't always expect things to go my way.. this is life, not a dream.  life is based on reality, not hope.. so for the first time in a long time, i'm letting go of all my hope.  i'm just gonna live my life one day at a time and go where my life takes me. and if there really is such a thing as "meant to be" -- we'll see where my life takes me. life is what it is, and i'm gonna live my life to the fullest regardless. for now, it'll be me, myself, and i. + family&friends. that's all i need. <3

"imagine that the pillow that you cried on was my chest, and the tissue that you wiped your face with was my hand. boy, imagine if you needed advice about some other girl, i'm the one that comes to mind. not trying to hear you tell nobody that i'm just a friend, just trying to make sure that i'm that body that you call your girl. and anytime you need a shoulder, it's yours.. night or day. what i'm trying to say is -- i wanna be the last one that you call late at night, the first one that you dial when you open your eyes.  i wanna be the one you run to, wanna be the one that ain't gon' hurt you"

fuck life ;(