inTheVastOfMyVacantMind's Xanga

Friday, September 30, 2005

Fri, 30 Sep 2005 14:50:36 GMT

ive had this xanga for 887 holy crap haha and really im just checking this because apparently i can host pictures now and thats exciting

oh shit im a fag and putting up a picture of myself but its cool because that came directly from my computer to you

Monday, March 14, 2005

Mon, 14 Mar 2005 20:36:59 GMT

remember this?

im freaking procrastinating so much right now

holy crap its insane

but i like how this site looks i forgot about it haha

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Wed, 10 Nov 2004 14:56:51 GMT

there's nothing i can do to change your mind
and there's nothing i can do to turn back time.

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Tue, 19 Oct 2004 16:23:48 GMT

And fuck me if I say something you don't wanna hear
And fuck if you only hear what you wanna hear
Fuck me if I care,... but I'm not leaving here

Saturday, October 16, 2004

Sat, 16 Oct 2004 17:13:44 GMT

ok well, im tired of trying to understand it, tired of trying to accept it, and really tired of trying to change it so i dont care anymore

Saturday, October 16, 2004

Sat, 16 Oct 2004 16:27:47 GMT

i hate to have to leave this way

but if things dont change, i cant stay

Friday, October 15, 2004

Fri, 15 Oct 2004 22:25:11 GMT

"I'm Open"

a man lies in his bed in a room with no door
he waits hoping for a presence, something, anything to enter
after spending half his life searching, he still felt as blank
as the ceiling at which he's staring
he's alive, but feels absolutely nothing
so, is he?
when he was six he believed that the moon overhead followed him
by nine he had deciphered the illusion, trading magic for fact
no tradebacks...
so this is what it's like to be an adult
if he only knew now what he knew then...
i'm open
i'm open
come in
come in
come in
come in
i'm open
i'm open
come in
come in
come in
come in
lying sideways atop crumpled sheets and no covers
he decides to dream...
dream up a new self for himself

Friday, October 15, 2004

Fri, 15 Oct 2004 22:18:51 GMT

Nothingman"

once divided...nothing left to subtract...
some words when spoken...can't be taken back...
walks on his own...with thoughts he can't help thinking...
future's above...but in the past he's slow and sinking...
caught a bolt 'a lightnin'...cursed the day he let it go...
nothingman...
nothingman...
isn't it something?
nothingman...
she once believed...in every story he had to tell...
one day she stiffened...took the other side...
empty stares...from each corner of a shared prison cell...
one just escapes...one's left inside the well...
and he who forgets...will be destined to remember...
nothingman...
nothingman...
isn't it something?
nothingman...
oh, she don't want him...
oh, she won't feed him...after he's flown away...
oh, into the sun...ah, into the sun...
burn...burn...
nothingman...
nothingman...
isn't it something?
nothingman...
nothingman...
coulda' been something...
nothingman...
oh...ohh...ohh...

aint it the truth
im sick of this
this stupid bullshit
i dont need this

Friday, October 15, 2004

Fri, 15 Oct 2004 19:12:44 GMT

cuz in the end ill have lived the better life

i sometimes realize i could only be as good as you let me

Friday, October 15, 2004

Fri, 15 Oct 2004 18:42:13 GMT

reh. wanted to change the colors but im not really satisfied with these.

so basically i lost track of why i was making an entry on this site.

i think it probably has to do with my nana, and drugs

i hate drugs
ive probably never really been mad at him before
but i cant even look at him at this point

after whats been going on with my nana, i cant help but look at him with the most disgust ive ever felt.

i cant stand him

i cant stand the fact that i wish i could save him
i dont even care what he thinks anymore

he needs help, no matter what he says

he needs help, they all do.

i'm sorry that they wont accept that.

God, please make my nana better, please make her happier, please do all you can do to make these next few months the best they can be under the circumstances.

i love my nana so much