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in_a_bottle
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Name: Jean
Birthday: 7/22/1986
Gender: Female
Interests: SDT, horseback riding, shopping, watching old movies with glamorous actresses, Starbucks, doing the crossword
Expertise: economics. oh, and wearing pearls.
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Member Since:
7/11/2003
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| - does he love you?It's not like I post here anymore, but I need to lay out something for myself.
This summer has degenerated. There was a high-water mark back in
late July, and since then a number of the most important relationships
in my life have been fundamentally altered so that I no longer feel the
warmth and wonderfulness of being home in Moco (insert quote from
Garden State here). However, I cannot say that I am sorry I came
home this summer, and here is why:
-having an RM reunion in Rockville and rocking out to Hootie and the Blowfish with Amanda and Ljia at Hometown Holidays
-my party
-adding number seven to the list
-the Spoon concert
-the first night at Joey's with Mags and Dori
-bonding with Dori
-Chincoteague with Mags: biking in skirts, renting a moped, reading
aloud, Mueller's, the Island Family restaurant, the Kug, meeting Karen
-sitting on the steps of the Met smoking
-MoMA, Avenue Q, and the Chanel exhibit
-going to the movies with a certain boy
-fireworks in Rockville and seeing Mr. Hines
-Nats' games (and the guy on the left and cotton candy)
-spending hundreds of dollars on clothes (I kid you not)
-doing the crossword at Starbucks
-running into the entire world in downtown Silver Spring
-the Folklife Festival and shopping with Becky
-Leslie's campaign party
-my birthday (Strathmore Hall and succesfully baking cheesecake)
-swimming at the Kug's
-having Lola
-Kelly Clarkson in Goldie and BK
...and that's it. But it's something. It's little enough,
though, that I cannot foresee a point in the near future when I would
want to spend an extended period of time at home. I'm going to
Gambier or Boston for fall break, I want to go to Israel over winter
break and I do not want to come home next summer. However,
I will miss you guys.
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| Okay, so after a shitty day of shopping and feeling fat and finding
Coach shoes on sale but not liking them on my feet, I come home to :
A big envelope from Brown that says "Congratulations!"
A phone call from Coach offering me an interview.
All of a sudden, I'm in a much better mood (and Rachel comes home today!)
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| - Eve, The Apple of my Eye -
I absolutely cannot wait until next year. I've had the best two
days...I couldn't ask for a better way to end the year.
It must be fate that Silver Spring is conviently located between
Fairfax and Bmore-I don't have any other explanation for the fact that
two of my favorite people from Emory will be so close to me over the
summer.
(I apologize for the incoherence, I'm sleepy and vaguely tipsy off of Andre).
Moco tomorrow...
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| Summer officially began tonight at 6:27 p.m., Eastern Standard Time (in
case you're in Chicago or some other time zone). I walked out of
my French exam, so relieved and so exhausted. Between not getting
enough sleep the past few nights, failing my econ exam this morning,
and all the pent-up stress exams had created, I almost felt like crying
as I left Candler. No, I'm not just being IB about my econ
exam-I'm honestly hoping for a C.
So here I am, almost nine moths after I last posted an xanga
entry. I don't think I'm that different of a person, but others
would be a better judge of that than I. I think that, instead of
changing me all that much, college has opened my eyes to how I have
grown up and matured. I recognize that I'm sounding very
narcissistic-look at me! I'm mature now! I'm not a stupid teenager
anymore!-but what I'm trying to be is simply self-aware. As I
slowly realized last fall that I was unhappy at Emory, that I had
failed at making many close friends, that I felt very alone, I didn't
just curl up into a ball and bemoan my fate. Nor did I simply
declare myself depressed and engage in counterproductive behaviors, and
I'm very proud that of that fact. I reocgnized that I was unhappy
due to my environment-it was external factors, not internal ones, and
so I set about changing my environment (read: filling out transfer
applications). Furthermore, I didn't give up on Emory-I pursued
activities that could maybe make me happy here. Obviously that
pursuit was effect, since I found a way to meet people, get involved,
have an improved social life and make some amazing friends, just
through SDT. I still hate the fact that it required an
articificial means of making friends in order for me to be happy here,
but hey, whatever works.
And now? I honestly cannot wait until next year. My
housing next year will be infiinitely improved, not only in the quality
of the actual room (yay for private bathrooms and kitchens!), but I
absolutely adore the group of girls who I'm blocking with. Some
of them I'm just now getting to be friends with, whereas one of them
was one of my few close friends first semester, but either way, we're
going to have the best time. At the risk of sounding like a huge
loser, we have a conference on LL just for our block and we send each
other stupid messages of insults and of affection, and I appreciate it
all the more because that comraderie was something that I've lacked for
so much of this year. I think that one very obvious effect of my
period of unhappiness is that I now appreciate my friends; I appreciate
having a group of friends and the signs and symbols of friendship that
I before took for granted. That's especially true here, but it
also applies to you guys at home. And that being said, while I am
looking foward to next year, this summer is going to be awesome.
I mean, I don't think anything will ever be like last summer, because
all the experiences were heightened by the knowledge of the transience
of them. But now we're going to come back, all a little older, a
little wiser, and without the immediacy of having shared the last four
years. Which is a good thing.
Anyways, I can use my poetic musings on the nature of our summers
together to segue into something a little less philosophical and
pretentious-sounding.
[edit Tuesday morning]
Thoughts people have on going to Chincoteague the last weekend in June,
June 24-27? That's looking like the best weekend, though that is
dependent on a couple of factors. Let me know if that works.
I love you all and I can't wait to see you!
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| College is still fabulous, thank you very much, Mr."College isn't fun
until you get a good circle of friends" Rhinesmith. I mean, as
I'm sure most of you have learned by now, it gets harder after the
first couple of days, because you feel comfortable enough with
everything that you can concentrate on the fact that you don't have any
close friends. (This obviously does not apply to those of you at
UMCP or St. John's). Partying, especially, I think is the hardest
thing to do, because you don't necessarily know who you can do it with,
and who does what, and who you can trust. Part of the reason I've
partied so little here is that most of the people I've met aren't big
drinkers, and I sure as hell can't just wander over to the frats on my
own (or I guess I could, but I'm not that confident). I did
manage to finally get over there this weekend. The first night
was not so fun, as I pregamed a little with my friend Jess (who's like
my closest friend here), but she drank a whole lot more than I did, as
it was her alcohol. So we wandered around frat row for a while
with my roommate, and I drank a little, but between the fact that there
was mostly beer to drink and that I had to keep on eye on Jess, who was
really drunk, it was not fun. Eventually Jess starts to feel
sick, so I took her back to her dorm, helped her throw up and got her
into bed. I walked back to my dorm, drunk-dialed Rachel (I'm
sorry honey!), and get back to find that my roommate is throwing up, so
I sit with her while she hacks and gags and throws up for like an
hour. And that was my first night of partying here at Emory!
We both had to get up early (at like 9) for a Braves game with our
dorm, which was actually a lot of fun. Since my parents are
baseball fans, it brought back a lot of nostalgic memories for me just
to be at a baseball game. Also, it was nice to go and see a team
that wins and be a fan without supporting Peter Angelos. Also, it
was my roommate's first time going to a baseball game, so I had fun
educating her.
Saturday night Jess and I went to a different frat, and it was my turn
to get drunk, but I still didn't get that fucked up, for me. It's
funny, people look at me and think that I'm a lightweight, that I don't
know how to drink or don't know my limits. I was talking to one
of the brothers who was letting me drink his cheap whiskey, and he was
like "It'll fuck you up after 1 shot," and I was fine after
three. I guess I can feel proud of myself for being nice and
manly about my drinking, even if I still can't do shots. The
brothers at this frat were so much cooler than those at the frat
Friday. I don't know my Greek well enough to remember what frats
these were, I just remember where they are on the row. Jess and I
started talking to this one brother who was really cool (and the first
person who I had talked to who mentioned smoking), and we ended up
hanging out with him on the roof of the frat, which was awesome.
His friend came up and visited us, and he was from Potomac and knew
Alexis. I was sort of out of it, but I remember very clearly us
bitching about the cicadas.
Monday we had classes, so my partying is over until this Thursday, when
we will probably go out clubbing. However, inbetween now and then
I need to befriend an upperclassman who can take me and Jess to the
liquor store so we can pregame the club. Clubs have college
nights every Thursday, like at home, and security is really strict
about drinking (one girl on my hall got thrown out last week for
drinking), so pregaming is necessary-the spirit of beach week lives
on!
I wish I had friends besides her who I could party with, I wish I had a
group of friends I could call up when I need something to do, I wish
that the boys in my dorm didn't play tournament poker, and I wish that
my violence studies class today wasn't a TOK-esque discussion of
legitimate power, meaning that it was actually about absolutely
nothing, I wish my French teacher didn't have a family emergency so
that we didn't have a graduate student who doesn't know how to teach
running the class, and I wish you all were here.
I'm not lying when I say that college is fabulous. Most of the
time I'm either busy enough or having enough fun not to miss having a
close group of friends, but there are times when it sucks.
wow, I need to stop being so melodramatic.
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