So it's time for an American Idol update. 

I'm calm at this point. 

Sunday nights are the worst.  I can't even describe the terror, the tears, the vomiting, the last minute laundry...oh man, why can't it be friday night again.  

Oh, well, I got a fish from my friend Crystal at work, a betta named mr. littlejeans.  he can't even wear jeans, and he gets really pissed when I forget to feed him.  too bad i can't forget to feed myself, I am getting so fat.  I mean, I was fat before, but god damn.  so he's little, but he doesn't wear jeans.  anyway.  I spoke with Karen today, and she is trying to convince me to get a cat since I am a lonely spinster as it is.  I should start building up the cat population in my apartment now, I mean, why wait.  If I'm going to be soul sucked at work I might as well let a cat suck out my breath while I'm sleeping.  That's what cats do you know, they steal your breath.  I don't know why they like carbon dioxide so much.  It can't taste good, and I have really bad breath.

I was hoping for a snow day tomorrow, but I know it's not going to happen.  I've gotten a couple of snow hours, but no full day.  I should just call in, but if I call in one day...it's like skipping statistics.  you skip one wednesday, you figure, you can skip them all, and why not friday, too, you've got that german quiz to study for...like you can even fail a german quiz. anyway, you skip statistics enough and you end up getting a B in the class when you clearly could have gotten an A -. 

I know it's been quite a while since I've posted, but I have little to no motivation to write in my xanga...especially since I'm 23 and not 13.  However, I'm not going to give up on xanga and move to a more adult blog, particularly since no one reads this shit anyway.  I've got almost 4 years of posts on this thing, and as I happen to know, many of them are nuggets of pure gold.  golden nuggets, yum.

I.Love.You.

Well.  I am at my apartment.  It is a disaster area, but I am working on it.  I have a desk now!

Work is still pretty much the same.  I'm still trying to make it work. 

Make it work.  That is my new mantra.

It's been awhile since I've posted.  The job is going fine.  Well, it's not really fine, but I'm trying.  I just feel incompetent and behind most of the time.  Not to mention completely stupid.  But like I said, I'm trying.  I'm just not doing as well as I hoped I would be by now.  I almost feel like I'm still at Truman, only this seems like a much bigger deal.  I wondered how I would work in the real world.  I pretty much was right.  I'm a failure at life.  My lack of self esteem is depressing, isn't it?  Maybe I should go out on disability.  I'm covered.  Everyone knows I'm "mental/nervous."

The reason I'm even posting this now is because I was reading some of my past entries out of boredom today, and I cannot figure out what it is I was thinking about when I was writing some of them.  There are things that I have said that don't sound like me to me at any point in my life.  It's not as if I've changed in the past 3 years or so since I've had this.  I mean, not significantly.  Some of them, particularly the last few, are total yawns, and the ones from last summer?  It was as if I posted constantly about nothing.  That being said, I'm going to wrap this up.  Hope everyone that still reads this is doing well, better than me.

Oh, I'm supposed to be moving next weekend.  I'm excited, although it seems as though the beginning was so easy that this next part will fall through.  I'm an optimistic person, I am; however, the moving is going to be difficult and I don't exactly feel ready.  Well, I'm not ready to physically move, and there are other issues which worry me.  What am I going to do when I'm totally alone?  How will I carry on with the day to day?  Who will I argue with?  I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.  I guess I will be getting that cat after all.

I have some sad news.  The facebook bitches disabled cookie monster's account.  For those of you who knew and loved him, he just wants you to know that he's sorry he can't be your online buddy anymore.  However, please feel free to tune in to Sesame Street.  It's on every day.

My job is going fine I guess.  I'm still in training, and I will be for another couple of weeks.  The people in my training group are a lot of fun.  AND I pretty much like being there, even though some people think I'm a stripper.  I just got my first paycheck today.  Those taxes my GOD.  But it's more than the previous zero dollars I was making, so I will take it happily.