| I wish I knew who you were..
The windows are closed. It is 67° outside and it feels like summer. I feel like I am suffocating here inside my house while I sit in front of this computer. I am jaded. I feel like I am wasting away my life. Outside the birds are chirping and singing their sad songs. It makes me mad but when everyone else hears it they become happy. Shut up, I'll destroy you. The water in my glass is gone; I drank down my 8 oz. glass as if I were deprived of water my whole life. Thirsty. I have been deprived (but of what?). I'm never sure anymore. You need to drink ten glasses of water everyday, says my doctor to me. Nine more to go. But not all at once or else you will get sick. I think I am already sick. In nine years I realized I will be almost twenty-five. Why do I suddenly feel so young? I feel like life is passing me by too slow and too fast and all at the same time. It is making me very dizzy. I am a bad person, I don't know what I am doing. I am a bad friend, I don't know how people can ever tolerate me. I am a bad girlfriend, I don't see how he could ever want me. I am a bad daughter, I don't know why my parents even support me. I am a bad student, I don't know how I am ever going to make it. I am... so messed up right now that I cannot even think straight. All I want to do at this moment is scream my lungs out.
&!*edit I don't know if it is my lungs or my heart that is hurting. So I will be safe and just say that I am suffering from chest pains. Ow. |
| |
