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irish_lassie
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Name: Alyssa
Birthday: 5/8/1987
Gender: Female
Interests: You expect me to write them here?
Expertise: sticking my foot in my mouth....it tastes horrible.
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
AIM:  Rosiehobbitlas
Member Since:
8/16/2004
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| It's been a very long time since I've posted anything, but i feel an update is necessary. I'm moving in 6 weeks to Chicago to go to Moody Bible Institute. I'm thrilled to go be with Kjieri and Gretchen, study the bible, live day in and day out with such a missional group of believers, live in a city, walk to corner store, and explore China town. I feel as though I am on the brink of something. I'm so happy to get to go to Chicago. The Lord has made it very clear that I am to head North come January, yet I find myself baffled as to why. Don't get me wrong, I am at peace, and excited, but very curious what on earth is going on. I originally applied to Moody to work with Orphans. I pursued every option available and thought Moody was it. I wanted to live a missional lifestyle, with God ever before me, unable to keep myself from speaking about what I had seen and heard. So I contacted Every Orphan's Hope, and spent a week with orphans at Rancho 3m, fasted, prayed, and in August, sent in my application. It was in August the life in Texas took a total 180. Acquaintances became dear friends, girls from school started coming to church with me, mothers became the mentors that I had missed so badly, younger girls became sisters for me to hug, encourage and love on, we began going downtown to feed the homeless, and I've gotten closer that ever to my little sister. A few weeks before I expected the letter form Moody, I along with my other friends began to plan in optimist detail our dream of moving the guys and girls into nearby apartments in Denton, where we would all go to school, be our own community, and reach out to the campus. Mark even began planning a pizza joint called "The Brick." So here I have my family, and on top of it the church family I have sought is finally forming. I have older brothers to look after me, and younger brothers to tease. I had dear sisters to write love notes to, and mothers to unload my prayer requests on. I have ministry opportunities, and a solid church that I do really care for. So I have been asked over and over again by those I have worked so hard to build a life with, "Why then, Alyssa, are you leaving all this for Chicago?" I don't know. I have, since getting my acceptance letter three weeks ago ha three missions opportunities placed in my lap, all of which I will need to turn down because of school. Looking over the number of credits that will transfer to Moody, out of all the work I;I've done the last few year only four classes will count. But here is the one thing that rings in my ears, "Leave everything and follow Me." This has been laid so heavily on my heart that I cannot say I would be faithful unless I stepped forward. If God closes the door it is his choice. I could graduate from Moody eons from now, or I could be back next semester. I am learning to let go of my plans to see what the Lord has up his sleeve. Knowing Him, it's worth seeing. | | |
| The most amazing things are so normal.This weekend has been amazing. The last few weekends have really. I'm getting so little sleep because I'm trying to be a good student and work to pay for my life, but at the same time, there are so many wonderful people and opportunities, I know that I'll never get to them all. Have you ever had a day when God just overwhelmed you with answered prayers? This morning I got up and met with my friend Paul at our Starbucks and grabbed some coffee before going to Celebration Covenant Church...the most media intensive church I've ever seen. There were smoke machine, more lighting than I've seen in one building, probably 50 people on stage during worship, and Clay, a regular at out store was leading worship. I'll be honest, there were times I felt I was being sold a brand new car, but the Lord has gifted people in media and they're searching to serve the Lord with their talents. Afterwards, Paul and I headed over to our church. I must say, worship was a little anticlimactic without the Christinized Earth Wind and Fire renditions or lighting, but the message was so ...... Just do me a favor, Kick the table your computer is standing on. Yeah, it was like that. It was real.. Here's what it came down to. I do nothing that can get God's approval, but GOd gives me everything. So, after a year of wrestling along side the rest of the singles in my church about how we're living pathetic suburban lives, we packed 20 brown bags with sandwiches, potato chips, and off brand oreos, and we got in Hosannas car. Paul, mark, Hosanna, and I prayed as we drove downtown that God would go before us We spent the whole afternoon feeding, hanging out, and throwing a frisbee around with homeless guys in the park. I spent my high school years getting to know God in the the sense of speeches, conferences, christian concerts, and bible studies. There's nothing wrong with that but this was so different. No salesmanship, no hot young worship leader, no blasting music or strobe lights. Just hungry people, some really good conversations, and a frisbee. This is Christianity, that we love. I don't know why I thought it had to be so complicated. I've rarely felt so right. Derek Webb, Rich Young Ruler
poverty is so hard to see
when its only on your tv and twenty miles across town
where were all living so good
that we moved out of Jesus neighborhood
where hes hungry and not feeling so good
from going through our trash
he says, more than just your cash and coin
i want your time, i want your voice
i want the things you just cant give me
so what must we do
here in the west we want to follow you
we speak the language and we keep all the rules
even a few we made up
come on and follow me
but sell your house, sell your suv
sell your stocks,suv, sellll your security
and give it to the poor
what is this, hey whats the deal
i dont sleep around and i dont steal
i want the things you just cant give me
because what you do to the least of these
my brothers, you have done it to me
because i want the things you just cant give me | | |
| I loved you oh so well.I'm reading A Severe Mercy right now, and it's all about two people are are not only in love, but incredible romantics. This makes the emotional intensity pretty hard to escape. The thing is, the people that have recommended the book to me have been thus far, the less romantic of my acquaintance
People talk about love is the sense of serving others, but I think that the number of people you can love can often be quite limited. I think that love, in the sense of care, trust, and tending of another person's soul requires so much vulnerability....and it was something we few, we happy few, we band of ...well, not brothers, but you get the point....we had this down in high school, or in our old churches, etc. I try to vulnerable with other people, but whether or not I get to know a person is dependent on them, laying in my hands their mind, their secrets, their struggles, their jokes, and leaving me to guard them. It was about service and love in the practical sense, but that came so naturally. It wasn't a struggle, it wasn't something you ever thought about because we shared everything. To betray the chance to help, or love, or encourage, though we at times had our failings, felt like a hand refusing to block a blow aimed for it's own body. Six, Four, even Two years ago, I guess we just grew up together, and fell into loving our friends Is it with age that we become so guarded?
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| I am a chocolate soul.I was thinking about that the other day.
I know a beautiful girl who is a vanilla person. She goes to cold stone and orders a vanilla ice cream cone. She is a purist, and I love her for it. I also have friend who hates oatmeal cookies with raisins, and will throw a fit if rice crispy treats have M&Ms on them. He is also a purist. Bring up art, music, colors, people. It is either good and pure, or it is not. This leads him to gerneally disapprove of many things. These two dream of living out their days making pottery and wrtiting songs.
I am a chocolate person. Les Miserables will always be my favorite book. I am drawn to darkness. Not in the sinful sense, but the fact that it is....well, how shall I put it? I love life, and it's intense sweetness, but It wouldn't be good unless it had a bitter side. People are dying, people are in desperation, hell is real. The reality and depth of those things reveals to me the hight and loveliness of Life, and intensity of Love, the Hope of Glory.
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| I want to go.Why do I want to get out of here so bad?
I want to Go. I don;t even know where. Anywhere, just give a my a ticket, and I'll take e my chance on somewhere new. new people, new friends. Launching into the unknown waiting to be hit by who knows what.
I told my parents a few weeks ago that would be majoring in International Economics. Some friends of ours who have been missionaries to Vietnam the last five years are staying at out house right Now. Ms. Peggy has known me since i was 2 years old and even with them being directly across the planet the last half decade she still reads my like a book.
Here is the woman who told me all the thoughts in my head, though many of them I try to forget about.
She told me about how compare myself to Nick, and ( not surprisingly) feel like an absolute failure next to my obsessively driven younger brother. She also told me that I wanted to get out of this place, and she began to ask me why.
"Why International Development? my husband deals with that all the time,a nd honestly, I wouldn't have the stomach for it. The waste, the politics, the backstabbing, and not to mention most people who make it that subculture and get a jobs there are 2rd or 3rd generation intentional families and spend the first portion of life volunteering their time. Alyssa, You've never really even been overseas, and I think that you have this idealistic picture of what it's like. It's not really fun. It's hard. The culture shock is a good thing. When you lose everything that supports you you learn allot about yourself, and it's a good experience but it's not fun. If you want to travel, then do it, but I think that you aren't finding what you want here, so you want to go "out there" wherever it is thinking that you'll suddenly be happy, when honestly, you have everything that you need right here. Until you can find it here, you won;t find it anywhere.
I think that in many Christian subcultures, Teen mania, CFC, NCFCA, IHOP, there's all this emphasis in being the mover and the shakers for Christ. we've got to "change the world." I don't think that we just set out to do that. I don't think God really wants us to aspire to do that. I think that God changes the world, and if he chooses to make us movers and shakers than he does, but he does it with servants.
If you want to travel, do it. Study what your passion is, but don't pick your career, or your major based on your need to go find some ideal that isn't there, or to try and save the world. Anything that's not for the sake of the Gospel or the Hope of glory really ought to be called into question."
I preached the gospel to a homosexual guy at work the day before yesterday. Maybe I need to think through this all again.
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