My girlfriend is the most important person in my life...she is worth more to me than anything that i could ever ask for, or even receive...i am willing to do anything to keep her as my girlfriend, there is nothing that i wouldnt do...I love her with every inch of my heart and soul, not a single thing could make me stop loving her as much as i do...just being with her makes me incredibly happy to the point of bliss not being able to describe how i feel...

I LOVE YOU EMILY ROSE BRECKENRIDGE WITH ALL OF MY HEART, AND SOUL, WHATEVER I CAN DO TO MAKE YOU HAPPY I WILL DO!

ok again im gonna bitch on here...

i dont know what to do anymore...i cant do what i want ( go to college in rolla) without causing myself to get into an enormous ammount of debt, i cant find anything that i have enough passion for (except emily) to merit going to college at all,  if i had a passion for something i would have no problem going to college but if i go without purpose i will just feel as if im wasting time and money, i know that emily wants me to go and i probably will end up going to a college but im just scared that it will end up in me having wasted a large ammount of money...it also would not be a problem if i could just be like "hey pay for my college" to someone and it be done...but i was not fortunate enough to be able to do that... but oh well...  i also fucked up when i chose catholic high...their grading scale fucked up my gpa...and when i finally decided that i might want to go to college it was to late to transfer to a different school that has the proper grading scale...  what i really wish that i could do is start my own buisness and have it succeed that way i could have a large ammount of income and be able to provide for who i marry ( hopefully someone im going out with right now   but i am truly scared that if i dont start shaping up and finding something i have passion for enough to make me truly want to go to college i will lose her and be sad for a very very long, i just wish that some college would have something that would interest me enough...and would be affordable to me...  but with the little ammount that i have its going to be hard... and with my fucked up gpa i cant really get scholarships,    i just wish that i had a hint of what i am supposed to do with my life...right now the only thing that i even can get a small thing on is that im supposed to be a good husband sometime in my life...but how can i do that when i cant even find something that i can do to have an income great enough to make a scratch in expenses that would be made with living on own with wife... god i just wish that i could have an inkling of knowledge of what to do right now...

but anyways  ive vented for now....

I LOVE YOU EMILY!!!

"You can accomplish anything you want, if you set your mind to it."  I've always been told that, but what person hasn't.  Well I now can confirm that it is a load of crap. I mean I busted my ass off to try to accomplish getting money to go to college in Missouri and I couldn't. I can't even send in my application to the college because I don't have my high school diploma.  I can't do anything really I suppose. The only thing that I have done that has been a success is my relationship with Emily.  I guess all that I ever really do on this journal is bitch, but I suppose that is what it is for.  Anyway, I'm just tired of being told that lie so I decided to write about it on here.  

I LOVE YOU EMILY!!!