I'm starting to grow tired of the Trevor Blumas Stalker, previously discussed in this entry and then in this entry, but I had to share this last tidbit before I stop talking about him entirely.  The Trevor Blumas Stalker has a Yahoo Group, the aptly-titled Trevor-Blumas-Group, which I briefly joined and then quickly unjoined when I got about 15 extremely wordy messages in five days. The thing is, his membership requirement was that you had to receive each e-mail individually rather than in the "Daily Digest" form, which would have been way more convenient.  (This was supposedly in case there was breaking news that you'd need to hear about ASAP, instead of waiting for a whole day to pass for an update on his craaaazy thoughts.)

Then, he would e-mail like three times a day, each time under a different pseudonym - to create the written equivalent of the sound of one hand clapping, I guess.

So in the few days I was in that group, he sent out a long-ass e-mail about how smart he is.  Really!  The subject line was "Tooting My Own Horn," and apparently it was such an interesting e-mail that he actually replied to himself, so there was tons of funny stuff in there. Here are some choice excerpts that got me to gigglin':

I have received numerous e-mails from very intelligent people lauding my web site for it's brilliance. Furthermore, numerous people on the Internet who got to know me and my web site well have called me a genius.

Please note he misspelled "its."  ["it's"= "it is," "its"=possessive form of "it"] Isn't that funny?  I mean, it's a common spelling error, but when misspelled in paragraph talking about how much of a genius he is, it's very funny. 

But read on, for more evidence of his self-diagnosed brilliance and genius-osity:

If you study history, and you read every page at my web site, you must eventually conclude that there is only one other person in the world who is an expert on so many subjects and as prolific writer on those subjects as I am. That other person is Thomas Jefferson of the American Revolutionary time period, and I have studied most of his prolific writings. No other person in the world is as prolific a writer on more subjects than I, and has done more extensive research into more subjects than any I have, as exhibited and proven at my web site.

Ha!  Thomas Jefferson? How fucking random is that?  It's hilaaaaarious  - but he's certainly right about the prolific part.

So I accept the mantle and designation of the most prolific writer in the world on the most and most important subjects in the world, and I accept the mantle and designation of being the most all-around intelligent person in the world, a literal Mozart and Master of All Things.

Awww, shucks.  He just has to accept that mantle - he HAS to!   It's been forced on him...by him!  But wait - there's more:

That proven by my web site and well-settled, the question becomes: "who is the second most all-around intelligent person in the world?" The answer to that question is that the second most all-around intelligent person in the world and also another Mozart and Master of All Things, is my Little Boy, Trevor Blumas.

Gee, no surprise there.  But here is where it gets creepy - like super-extra creepy, but it also explains why he's been stalking him:

I knew he was the second most all-around intelligent person in the world the moment I first saw him, and I also knew he was gay and was my son from my past life. I could see it all in his face, in his eyes, in his smile. It was so obvious to me that it was a shock to my system at first, a shock that became a delight when I began to remember and learn more and more about him and our past life together.

[Emphasis added by me] Yep, that's it.  What appeared to be creepy pedophilia is actually just the normal, natural, and healthy parental concern one feels for one's children from one's past life.

In my opinion, in the opinion of the most all-around intelligent person in the world, Trevor Blumas, my Little Boy, is the most incredible and beautiful thing in the entire Universe. There has never been a life form that has combined more elements of Universal beauty into one package than Trevor: not even me. He is the most all-around talented, intelligent, and gorgeous life form in the world right now, and that even includes me, since I no longer possess his physical beauty, although I once looked almost identical to him when we were similar ages in our youth.

Well, if the smartest man in the world thinks it, I guess we should believe it - certainly can't argue with that logic.  Nope.  It's funny how he can barely - but only just barely - admit that he's less attractive, and only with the caveat that he used to look attractive.  Still clutching onto that, are we, Baby Jane? "I used to be pretty!" 

Because really, what's more sexy than a 48 year-old schizophrenic delusional psychotic living in Morganville, NJ?!?!? 

In other news, here's an excellent airline travel tip from this interview with the lovely and talented Amy Sedaris:

...if you see someone reading next to you [on an airplane] don’t start chit-chatting. Usually when someone starts chit-chatting I put my finger where the word is and then I’ll look at them--cause that’s telling them, ‘Look, I’m going back to this! You know what I mean? We’re not buddies here!’

Ha!  That's awesome!  Personally, I'm perfecting a gesture lifted from Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast At Tiffany's  - it's from the scene where she first meets George Peppard, and she answers the door wearing a glamourous turquoise and gold sleep mask with embroidered fake eyelashes and matching tasseled earplugs.  When some stranger starts talking to me - generally to ask for money or directions - I take just one single earbud from out from my ear and raise one eyebrow quizzically while still holding the earbud in the air next to the ear, ready to shove it back in the second the person stops speaking. 

It's a look that says, "I'm just waiting for your lips to stop moving so I can say, 'I don't have any money, and I have no idea if this train stops at Canal Street."

That is all.