See you in Hell

Remember when I said that I personally believe there's a special place in Hell for those who push fake cancer cures?  Aparently Newsmax doesn't think so.  The latest shameless advertisement is: "Adv: A company which fights Cancer and Terrorism too" with such gems as:

1.3 million Americans are diagnosed with cancer each year. And, sadly, more than 1,500 people in the U.S. die from it every day.

But not sad enough that you won't try and make a buck exploiting it!!

And what exactly IS the sound of 1.3 Americans dying each year?  Why it's "The Sound of Opportunity Knocking..." .  And while phrases like "Killing cancer....and making a killing too" might sound like a shameless pun.....in reality it's.........it's...ah.........ahhh....ok..... it's a shameless DUMBASS pun.

I would put Newsmax's address up and encourage you to send them an e-mail complaining, but it would do as much good as telling Limbaugh he shouldn't do drugs.

Another shamless exploitation of terrorism and thus September 11th is also on their site here which discusses Al Quida's secret plans to destroy America.  Actually it describes their plans to drive a 1300 year old golden dagger into our financial hearts, which is much worse, I'm told.  I'm not sure exactly where my financial heart is, but i'm pretty sure it's what's sitting on my wallet right now.

Wait there's more....Al Quida's new plan will also send the US economy into a absolute death spiral.  OH NO!! not an ABSOLUTE death spiral.  That's much worse than just the common death spiral.  A normal, run-of-the-mill death spiral I could take.  An absolute death spiral would keep me up at night.

How are they going to do this?

By launching another September 11th style attack?

No.

By detonating a dirty bomb?

No.

By getting the most popular radio talk show host in America addicted to drugs?

No. All those would be too easy.

While they have our FBI agents foolishly tied up at our Airports, they're introducing gold Dinars into the marketplace to bring out the DEMISE of the United States (Insert manical laughter here). But thank God almost "no one has heard about it".  Thank God for YOU!  You see, "because the radicals plot has a flaw in it".  So, instead of alerting, say, THE FBI!!!!, they're giving you a chance to stop the terrorists AND make money.  They would like to send you a free special report entitled (I couldn't make this up if I tried):

'The Secret Currency: How to Beat Bin Laden to the Punch --  AND Capture Gains of  668% or More as the U.S. Dollar Falls!'

Snappy title, rolls off the tongue.  Here's Bin Ladens message if you don't believe them...

'My congratulations to you on your blessed efforts and jihad.

'You have indeed slaughtered the enemy and have pleased the hearts of all Muslims, particularly the Palestinian people. You will be rewarded by God the Almighty. Thank you for your jihad and may God help you.

'...[America has] a budget deficit for the third consecutive year.  This year, the deficit reached a record peak of more than US$4.5 billion. 

'Praise be to Allah.'

I wonder what he said during the "..."?  They continue

As despicable as he is, bin Laden is very financially sophisticated. He knows that the U.S. is struggling with a huge trade deficit -- AND a huge budget deficit. And he realizes the U.S. dollar is weak and getting weaker all the time. That's why attacking the U.S. dollar -- and sending the U.S. financial markets into a violent  plunge -- is at the center of his plan!

And bin Laden isn't alone is his scheme to crush the U.S. economy! In fact, he's trained thousands of militant jihad warriors to carry out his evil plot... even if he is captured tomorrow!

What more proof do you need you dumb sons-a-bitches!!??!!

Ching Ching!!!  SHOW ME THE TERRORISTS!!!!!

And Here's the Kicker... (There's always a kicker-Mike)

As I said before, there's a limited supply of gold in the world.  In fact, if you gathered up all the gold that has ever been discovered, you could fit it to ALL in a very large room!

So, as the demand for gold rises -- and the available supply shrinks -- panic will strike as people scramble desperately to buy gold.

Just imagine the hysteria that will occur when Muslim countries start to demand gold as payment for oil! People worldwide would rush to move out of U.S. dollars... and into gold!

I didn't realize that you could fit all of the gold ever discovered into a room.  Hmmmmmm...Fort knox must be pretty tiny.  A large room folks, a very LARGE room.

Anyhooo you can read it all if you want, you can make 668% profit, I know this because they told us 20 times. 

Remember folks 668% is just 2% higher than the profit of the beast, so invest now and defeat Satan!!!