... and the crazy policies!!

I can't say I have a perfect marriage.  Then again, who can?  Like any other couple in this world, +1 and I have our fair share of disagreements, sparring matches, and FITS OF LAUGHTER.  You see, we have some very simple policies enacted the night +1 first moved in with me.  Here are some:

1) KISS EACH OTHER EVERY MORNING AND EVERY NIGHT.  This isn't as easy as it seems.  Different schedules and both parties being so busy easily means you may forget to just touch or kiss each other every day.  When we wake up, regardless of morning breath or whatever, we kiss before we get out of bed.  Before we leave, we kiss again.  When we get home, we kiss, and finally, before we go to bed, we kiss and kiss and kiss and... hahahaha!

2) NEVER GO TO BED ANGRY.  You know how it goes.  You have a spat and things die down, but when it's time for bed, you either force him to the couch or you turn your back to your loved one.  You may have stopped the verbal argument, but the emotional and physical argument is far from over.  Please, don't do this to each other, your kids, or your marriage.  If you're going to argue, take a 30 second time out, collect your thoughts and emotions and try to discuss it calmly.  If it means you have to talk all night and into the early morning, then do it.  Say everything you have to say and don't go to bed until you've BOTH spoken your mind.  You may be tired for work the next day, but at least you know the issue is fully resolved.  And by that, I mean NEVER BRING IT UP AGAIN.  If you do, it means you never truly resolved it. 

3) THE FIRST ONE TO MAKE THE OTHER LAUGH IS THE WINNER OF THE ARGUMENT.  It's literally come to this.  If we get into an escalated argument, we try to make the other laugh, cuz once we start laughing, we start hugging, kissing, and then we're calm enough to really resolve the issue at hand.  Trust me, it's worked wonders for us, so it can work for you, too!

4) DON'T KEEP SECRETS, ESPECIALLY NOT ABOUT MONEY.  Say what you will about money, but it's a top reason for divorces.  +1 and I decided from the very beginning of our relationship that we would be honest about our finances and we would pool our money.  He makes four times what I make, but we never differentiate the moola.  Why?  Because it's better this way!  It's simply "our money" and we decide what's the best way to spend it or save it or even invest it!  We discuss our expenses openly with each other as well as things we'd like to purchase.  That's not to say I have to consult him or him, me when we want to purchase something.  We'll buy what we want, but we always keep our budget in mind!  We leave the big purchases ($1,000+) up for discussion before pulling the trigger. 

5) BE INTIMATE OFTEN!  I'm not saying you have to have sex every night of the week!  Let's face it, most of the time, I'm too tired to get all sexied up and put all that work into sex.  For the both of us, we're happy being able to watch a movie in bed together.  This is one of my FAVORITE things to do.  I love to fall asleep in +1's arms while watching SCRUBS re-runs.  Please have sexual relations at least twice a week though.  That's just healthy. 

Since I've grossed you all out, I'll just stop here.  HAHAHAHA!!

NEXT TIME:  WHY ME, GOD?  WHY ME?!!!!  Why wedding budgets suck!

... us like we're masochists!!

I have this thing where I don't like to keep secrets from my family.  It's not like I ever could anyway.  We are ALL in each others' business anyway!  +1 and I knew everyone would think we were crazy (you, dear reader, probably think we're crazy!), but we knew we had together.  We knew we wouldn't be happy unless we went on this journey together.  We kept our secret.  Until I broke down and told my closest friends!  LOL!  I COULDN'T HELP IT! 

I was scared of what my girlfriends would think, so I literally did a HIT-AND-RUN.  I hit them up on AIM or GOOGLECHAT and then signed off.  I later emailed them pictures of my marriage certificate in case they were in disbelief. 

I never should have doubted them.  They were so happy for me and UBERSupportive.  I couldn't ask for better friends.

On Christmas day, +1 formally asked my Daddy if it'd be okay if he married me.  We still didn't have a ring, but we had the approval of my father and that was more than enough for us!  Since his parents STILL weren't over the fact that we weren't virgins... we figured we'd wait until CNY (Chinese New Year). 

AND NOW!!  TIME FOR SOME WEDDING PLANNING!

So after asking my ladies to be my bridesmaids (I was too excited to sit and make the cards first!), I got started on making their cards.  Are you catching the trend?  +1 and I like to work SDRAWKCAB|BACKWARDS!!

I originally thought I wanted a wedding with my color being a deep, crushed red and my flower being the Cala Lilly, but that was actually my Twin's color palette.  All the sudden, it came to me... MY COLOR PALETTE!

BLACK, CHAMPAGNE, and IVORY!  Our wedding will be in my hometown of New Orleans, LA, and what better way to celebrate my wedding than to incorporate the "feel" of the city!  My theme revolves around the Fleur-de-Lys and my color palette.  I have been working diligently to find a good balance between my Asian roots and my desire to break free from it a bit. 

SO HERE IS MY FIRST DIY PROJECT: The Bridesmaids' Thank You's!

I started off with some LARGE, archival quality craft paper.  It's called "Black Brushed Cotton".  I measured and scored the card and then measured two other cards approximated .5" smaller all around than the one before it.  I then chose a corner punch style and glued the cards on top of each other.  I then bought some champagne colore rhinestones and glued them into the little corners.

Don't make my mistake though!  I got so excited, I didn't type it up and print it on paper, so I had to resort to my own handwriting!  OUCH!  Oh well, I was too far into the game to go back!

I wrote my own ghetto poem:

Flowers, candy, vases, and lace...

Curling and crimping... making up your pretty face...

Calling to the pastor and making the ring boy walk faster...

Doing what you can to make everything a little better.

Thanks for saying you'll be my Bridesmaid, XXXXX!

~With Appreciation~

PANDAMONIUM

And here it is!

Without the wax seal:

The finished product:

A close up:

Next up: What better way to ring in the new year than with a NEW RING?  Or three or four or FIVE in my case!

When I was little, I dreamed of getting married before I was 21.

When I was 21, I hoped I'd be married by 24.

When I hit 24, I realized it was time to stop focusing on who I'm going to marry and instead, divert my attention to WHERE MY CAREER IS GOING.

As the months rolled by following my 24th birthday, I figured that there were fates far worse than 1) singledom and 2) BAD FIRST DATES.  Since my travel schedule started picking up, I found myself splitting my time between Boston, MA and Houston, TX.  I don't know about you, but city hopping for 24 straight days can make a girl go CRAZY and not to mention TIRED!

When I finally returned to Houston, it was to celebrate my sister's friend's birthday.  It was July 19, 2007 and I was deleriously tired from being in meetings all morning, and then sitting at the airport all day.  I took a nap before my sister hustled me out of the house to our favorite Thursday night activity: 80s Night at Sammy's.  I don't know what it is about 80s music, but I can never get enough of it (and it's funny because I wasn't alive for most of it!). 

My usual style is to always, always, always wear dresses when I am "going out".  I love to look fun and flirty and, well, cute.  On this particular night, I was just so tired so I threw on some jeans, a strapless top and a vest that had a skull & crossbones on it (I was going through a phase...).  This is probably the only time I can think of when I went out and looked absolutely hideous.

This is also the night that I met my now husband/fiance.

So how DID we meet?  Basically, he was drunk and had hit on two girls before me, both proving unsuccessful.  His bald headed friend encouraged him (shoved him) to talk to me so he laughed a little bit and said, "I think you're the most beautiful girl here."  I almost died from laughing - I love corniness!  Unphased by the night's previous suitors' attempts, I indulged him in some light conversation.  We got to talking and as it turns out, he moved from Boston, MA to Houston, TX.  How weird is that?

The conversation progressed quite naturally about everything under the sun except about what we did for a living.  Why?  Well, quite frankly, I didn't care because I wasn't interested in meeting anyone that night.  He even pointed out my diamond cross pendant and proudly declared, "You're Catholic?  I'M CATHOLIC, TOO!"  HAHAHA!  He just kept me laughing all night with his general corniness.  I'm lame, I know.

Finally, he asked me how come I never asked him what he does for a living, and I bluntly replied that I simply did not care.  A man is measured by his character and not his pocketbook, afterall.  That's when the conversation got serious.  I'm the type of woman that likes to be upfront.  I wanted the straight truth from him and I called him out before he could even have a chance to embellish the truth.  I'm intuitive like that .

That night, we exchanged numbers (I still have the little piece of paper where he wrote his name and phone number!) but he kept repeating that I'd forget him the next day.  When I came home that night, I texted him with my phone number and told him not to forget me.  That morning, he called me for lunch since I was leaving for Dallas that morning.  I delayed my trip for a few hours to share a meal with him.

Two months later, I found myself at the Harris County Court House, preparing to marry him.  We had no money (more on this another day), we had no house, and we had no witnesses.  All we had was each other and hope for our future.  People may think we're crazy, but the reality is... we're just crazy for each other!

(corny, I know!)