its_pandamonium's Xanga

Picture Update!

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 19:28:12 GMT

I just realized that I never posted my rings here, so here they are in all their glory! Okay, well, here are three of them.

Magnificent, if I may say so myself!

Here's a picture of the panda and her sisters in San Francisco.

+1 and I in San Francisco before heading to Teatro ZinZanni!

A picture of us earlier in the day at the Golden Gate Park:

That's all for now, folks!

Where did you GO?!

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 11:07:15 GMT

**all pictures are from google searches**

TO WOODLIFF LAKE, NJ!! That's where!

So on Tuesday, I continued with my food plan:

2 nectarines, 1 banana, 2 papaya salads (raw vegetables are always a good idea since it takes more calories to digest them than actually consuming them!), 2 pieces of flat bread, and rice noodles with chargrilled, lean beef. I know, I should not be eating beef, but I love beef for dinner!

I only ran one mile and did lots of stretching. I used my pilates ring to do stretches and work outs. Today is a light training day.

On Wednesday, I was headed up to New Jersey for a work conference. I was terribly busy and despite the fact that I had been coffee-free for almost a month, I drank about four large cups of coffee. Needless to say, I felt nauseated and sick the remainder of the night, but at least I stayed awake.

On this particular day, I should have been doing my abs work out. Maybe some bootie as well.

On Thursday, this should have been a light jogging day. I was in classes and sessions until almost 11:30pm. As you can imagine, I crashed after that.

My food plan was not followed as we had food all day. All sorts of bad food. I will comment, however, that I only ate two cookies (my carbs before 2:00 pm) and I ate a lot of salads with lite dressing and skinless chicken breast. I didn't drink enough water though. Le sigh...

Friday was basically a repeat of Thursday with the exception of heading back out to the airport. At the airport, I had chicken tacos and a huge daiquiri. Then I ate a chicken salad with lite dressing. I had orange juice and cranberry juice and on the ride home, a whole bottle of water.

Today is Saturday and I have finally woken up. I'm heading out to eat PHO and after I buy some new bedsheets, I will head to the gym.

My plan for today:

15 minutes of pilates stretching/core building

18 minutes of running (2 minutes warm up, 13 minutes of running, 3 minutes of cool down)

10 minutes of leg workouts (see MONDAY's work out)

10 minutes of ab work outs.

REWIND: Back to CNY (Chinese New Year)

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 14:13:23 GMT

So back to the *dum dum DUMMMMM* In-Laws situation. Let me begin by apologizing for going AWOL on all you lovely ladies. It’s been stressful because I started a new job in a completely new industry, I struggled with the death of my grandfather *tear… tear*, I've had family members fall in and one even required emergency surgery... DURING THE FUNERAL! ... and I had many, many, MANY “disagreements” with my in-laws. Le sigh. What can I say?

So when CNY rolled around, +1 and I decided to go home and spend time with my family. Before we left, I gave +1 many envelopes filled with $20 bills (Crisp and oh so money smelling fresh!). I bought these cute mouse envelopes that hang up and have little faux lanterns at the bottom. I’ll try to get a picture of it up later. I asked him to give it out to his nieces and nephew before we left and he did. They had nothing to say to me. Typical. *rolls eyes*

When we returned, we were so excited about my family being so stoked about our engagement. +1 had received several messages from the IL (in laws) demanding he call them back. When he finally did, they demanded that WE both come to see them ASAP. I was scared. I mean, I wanted to pee on my pants. At the same time, I was very angry because the IL’s were calling me names (they obviously didn’t know I was on speaker and listening the whole time). We dropped off our belongings after an exhaustive drive and headed back on the road again to see the IL’s.

I’ll give you the highlights of what they screamed at me:

- “I’m GIVING you this money because you harassed me at work in front of my employees!” (UMMMM… NOT TRUE! You OWE me that money and I called you. I didn’t tell you to put me on speaker phone… BTW, they only paid me back 1/5 of what they owed me, but they consider all of their debt completely paid off because of that measly 1/5).

- “If I didn’t know you and I saw you on the street, I would beat you up and kill you. I don’t care if they take me to jail.”

- “You’re a liar and a thief. You’re stealing all of his money.”

- “I’d rather be dead.”

- “I’m a good man because I never gamble and I take care of my family.” (LIAR! You’re a gambaholic and you’ve been jobless for over a decade!)

- “You’re worthless. You think you’re better than everyone else, but you’re nothing.”

And to think, I had to sit through TWO HOURS of this torture. It seems like they were yelling more at me than at “us”. At one point, they asked +1 if I was his “nguoi tinh yeu” but +1 didn’t understand what that meant so he stayed quiet. They used his silence to “prove their point” that +1 does not love me. I then asked him in English if I was “the love of his life” and he said yes, thus proving my point that THEM speaking in a language he does NOT understand is the reason for his silence.

Well, after much harassment, +1 finally gave them a piece of paper with my parents’ contact information for the IL’s to contact my parents about wedding plans. To this day (almost four months later), they have not contacted my parents. I figured they wouldn’t since they said THEY WON’T HAVE ANY PART IN OUR WEDDING.

So does that make it a victory for us as a married couple… or a travesty that one half of the new “family” won’t accept it/participate in the wedding?

Get Fit with the Panda!

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 13:27:25 GMT

I’ll admit it – since getting engaged, I have totally slacked on my looks. I don’t trim or style my hair as often; I don’t wear as much make up; I’ve kinda let myself go… and why? BECAUSE I AM CONSUMED WITH WEDDING PLANNING AND RESEARCH! But I’ve finally bitten the bullet and hired a personal trainer! I'm paying $340/month, but if you want to take some ideas from the workout plan he has me on, I'll fill you in!

In the coming months, I will share with you my semi-daily work routine as well as my “food plan” (THIS IS NOT A DIET!!). I don’t think anyone should necessarily follow it word for word, but you may find it as a good starting point if you’re planning to get fit. I don’t have a weight goal in mind because it’s more important for me to feel good and be healthy.

So at week one, here are my statistics:

Height – 5’4”

Weight – 137 lbs.

Street Size – 6 – And loving all the curves… just not the gut!

Monday – I eat a small meal (large snack) every 2-3 hours.

They were: 2 nectarines, 1 bananna, 2 cups of homemade soup, 3 squares of flatbread, a salad, and a ribeye steak.

Body Group: Quads, Hamstrings, Calves, Bootie, and Lower Abs

Stretches I did:

- Used 5 lbs. dumbbells and swung my arms forwards and backwards and turning my body with my arms out from left to right.

- Using a medium stretch band, I put my foot in the middle and held it at my hip on the left side. I kicked outward (feet pointed forward) for 2 reps of 15 on each side.

IMAGINE SOMETHING LIKE THIS:

(from Shape magazine)

- Floor stretching of leg muscles

- Elephant pose and various other stretches I remember from my pilates classes back in college!

- Pilates ring to stretch and work my core muscles at the same time

In the picture below, instead of a ball, use the pilates ring and slowly roll your body forward.

(from Shape magazine)

Exercises I did:

Quads – Using one of those big balls, lean against a wall and roll down until your quads are parallel with the floor. Do this 10 times and on the tenth one, hold it down for five seconds. Rest for 10 seconds and do a second set of 15, holding it for five seconds on the 15^th one. Rest for 15 seconds and do a set of 20, holding it down for five seconds. Rest for 20 seconds and do a FINAL set of 25, holding the last one down for 10 seconds and relax for 60 seconds.

Lower Body – Holding round/ball weights (or big cans of soup!) in each hand (I used a two lb. ball weight), let your arms lie next to your side. Put your left foot up on a bench (like the work out bench… something relatively stationary) and in one smooth motion, bring your right foot up next to your left foot (you should have both feet on the edge of the bench now). Repeat this 15 times on each leg, resting 15 seconds in between each set. Rest 30 seconds.

Lower Abs – Lying down on a pilates mat, grab an exercise ball and put it in between your feet. Your feet should meet at the middle belt of the ball. Gently squeeze your feet together and use your lower abs to lift your legs as far up as you can get them. Do this ten times and rest for ten seconds. Repeat this 15 times and rest 15 seconds. Repeat this 20 times and rest 20 seconds.

In the picture below, lift the ball up just like that. I didn't use the dumbbells.

(from Shape magazine)

Bootie – Lying down on your pilates mat (you may need an assistant or a corner wall spot for this), place the exercise ball underneath your legs. Keep your legs and feet together and toes pointed upward. Keep your arms out at your side like an airplane, palms facing down. Using your gleuts, lift your body as far off the ground as you can and go back down WITHOUT touching the floor. Repeat this ten times and rest for ten seconds. Repeat this 15 times and rest 15 seconds. Repeat this 20 times and rest 20 seconds.

Hamstrings – Let your exercise ball rest underneath your stomach and let your palms hit the floor like you’re about to do a push up. Let your feet hit the floor and with toes pointed and bent downward (think of what a runner looks like just as he begins to sprint), lift each leg up, one right after the other. Do 15 sets of this and rest 15 seconds. Do 20 sets of this and rest 20 seconds. Do 25 sets of this and rest 25 seconds.

Legs - Lunges! We all know what this is! Just do stationary ones. First set of 15 and rest for 15 seconds. Repeat for 20 and rest 20 seconds. Repeat for 25 and rest 25 seconds. On the last one of each rep, hold the down position for five seconds.

(from Shape magazine)

Up for Tuesday:

- Increasing stamina/endurance by jogging 1.5 miles in 15 minutes with a 3 minute cool down (Yes, I know many of you can jog five miles in like, 15 minutes, but I’m not like that!).

- Pilates ring to stretch and work my core muscles at the same time

- Continue my food plan for small meals every 2-3 hours

Marriage Politics...

Thu, 28 Feb 2008 22:00:42 GMT

... and the crazy policies!!

I can't say I have a perfect marriage. Then again, who can? Like any other couple in this world, +1 and I have our fair share of disagreements, sparring matches, and FITS OF LAUGHTER. You see, we have some very simple policies enacted the night +1 first moved in with me. Here are some:

1) KISS EACH OTHER EVERY MORNING AND EVERY NIGHT. This isn't as easy as it seems. Different schedules and both parties being so busy easily means you may forget to just touch or kiss each other every day. When we wake up, regardless of morning breath or whatever, we kiss before we get out of bed. Before we leave, we kiss again. When we get home, we kiss, and finally, before we go to bed, we kiss and kiss and kiss and... hahahaha!

2) NEVER GO TO BED ANGRY. You know how it goes. You have a spat and things die down, but when it's time for bed, you either force him to the couch or you turn your back to your loved one. You may have stopped the verbal argument, but the emotional and physical argument is far from over. Please, don't do this to each other, your kids, or your marriage. If you're going to argue, take a 30 second time out, collect your thoughts and emotions and try to discuss it calmly. If it means you have to talk all night and into the early morning, then do it. Say everything you have to say and don't go to bed until you've BOTH spoken your mind. You may be tired for work the next day, but at least you know the issue is fully resolved. And by that, I mean NEVER BRING IT UP AGAIN. If you do, it means you never truly resolved it.

3) THE FIRST ONE TO MAKE THE OTHER LAUGH IS THE WINNER OF THE ARGUMENT. It's literally come to this. If we get into an escalated argument, we try to make the other laugh, cuz once we start laughing, we start hugging, kissing, and then we're calm enough to really resolve the issue at hand. Trust me, it's worked wonders for us, so it can work for you, too!

4) DON'T KEEP SECRETS, ESPECIALLY NOT ABOUT MONEY. Say what you will about money, but it's a top reason for divorces. +1 and I decided from the very beginning of our relationship that we would be honest about our finances and we would pool our money. He makes four times what I make, but we never differentiate the moola. Why? Because it's better this way! It's simply "our money" and we decide what's the best way to spend it or save it or even invest it! We discuss our expenses openly with each other as well as things we'd like to purchase. That's not to say I have to consult him or him, me when we want to purchase something. We'll buy what we want, but we always keep our budget in mind! We leave the big purchases ($1,000+) up for discussion before pulling the trigger.

5) BE INTIMATE OFTEN! I'm not saying you have to have sex every night of the week! Let's face it, most of the time, I'm too tired to get all sexied up and put all that work into sex. For the both of us, we're happy being able to watch a movie in bed together. This is one of my FAVORITE things to do. I love to fall asleep in +1's arms while watching SCRUBS re-runs. Please have sexual relations at least twice a week though. That's just healthy.

Since I've grossed you all out, I'll just stop here. HAHAHAHA!!

NEXT TIME: WHY ME, GOD? WHY ME?!!!! Why wedding budgets suck!

Bling Bling! I GOT THE RING!

Sun, 24 Feb 2008 17:04:16 GMT

And then another one. And then another one...

Let's just say that my ring, much like my wedding, is more for my parents' happiness than my own. Don't believe me? Then follow me down memory lane.

So back in December, FH and I went shopping all over the typical places brides-to-be go: Tiffany's, DeBeers, etc. Since we originally eloped with no ring whatsoever (we didn't want to call attention to our little secret), I felt like it was HIGHLY inappropriate for me to get a traditional engagement ring (a solitaire or a center stone with some side stones) since I was actually already married. With that said, I only fell in love with one ring and Tiffany's had it. The Etoile Five-Row Pave Diamond Wedding Band.

Ahhh... look at the beauty! I'd still get a lot of sparkle without having a huge rock that sticks all the way out there. Best of all, the price was amazing! $12,525!! WOOHOO!! I figured I'd pair it with a more simple wedding band, also from Tiffany's. The knife edge band.

I also loved this band, but something just wasn't right about it...

Since FH and I had decided on these two, I figured we'd wait a bit before buying the ring. I wanted my mother's input. BAD IDEA. My mother brought my two sisters along and all I heard the whole time was, "OH NO!!! NOT THAT ONE!!! IT'S HIDEOUS! THAT IS NOT AN ENGAGEMENT RING! YOU HAVE SUCH BAD TASTE!!" And I thought my in-laws would be hard to win over. It suddenly became a huge fight (which we took OUTSIDE the beloved store.

Angry and confused, I retreated to my bedroom where I cried for hours upon hours before my FH came to save me. Little did I know, my crafty mother and siblings had already gotten to FH. He came home, consoled me a bit and then he started to talk about, "maybe we should consider getting a more traditional ring, something like a nice round diamond..." Oh could you imagine the fury?!

Fortunately for BOTH of us, FH and I have a few policies (more on this later!) so we talked and laughed about it and the next day, we zoomed off to Robbins Bros, Daniel & Co., and finally, Nazar's. I wasn't wowed by anything I saw at Robbins Bros, but I was surprised that I would like a traditional ring. At Daniel & Co., I was pleased by some of the selection, but nothing made me wanna squeal with delight. At Nazar's, I was impressed not only by the SIZE of their collection, but by the quality. They use only GIA certified diamonds and they were all about education and allowing me to take my time. They weren't pushy or commission driven. I worked the price down to something that wouldn't make me go into debt because let's face it, a lot of people end up paying for their rings for months to come and if my FH couldn't pay for it in cash, it wasn't happening.

That's when I finally came up with this ring by A. Jaffe. I chose a 1.5 ct center stone. Note the cute little gold A and diamond at the bottom left? It's also flat at the bottom, not round!

I also bought the matching diamond band. We looked at several round diamonds before we settled on the 1.5 ct. FH wanted the 2.35 ct, but even the jeweler said it was too much for my thin, long fingers. Just for the record, I only wanted a 1.0 ct diamond! 1.5 ct seems like an ideal compromise.

So two days after we had paid for these two rings, I returned to Gems by Chao, where I had already paid for a knife edge band similar to the Tiffany's one above. I asked for a refund on the ring, but since it had already been ordered, I was stuck with it. Oh well, what's so bad about that? The band would still look lovely with the one we had just purchased.

The next day, I was so anxious about my ring, I asked FH to drive me back the the jewelery store so I could look at it one more time. That's when I laid eyes on the my fourth ring. I gave FH the biggest doe eyes a little Asian girl like me could give --> o__o . I batted my eye lashes and let out a little whimper, just as my lip began to quiver. Without hesitation, FH called the jeweler over and asked the price. I was already sweating it considering we had spent so much money on the "engagement" ring already. Besides, we already had TWO OTHER WEDDING BANDS. Why get a third? FH sighed and said maybe for our anniversary a few years down the line.

Defeated, I scuttled home only to have him tell me the next day that he did, in fact, buy the ring after he dropped me off at work. WOOHOO!!!

So now, ladies and whomever else might be reading this... I give you, THREE OF MY FOUR WEDDING RINGS!!!

Please excuse the lack of a proper manicure. The band was a mix of that Tiffany's band that just wasn't quite right and what would you know... it has little pave diamonds on the outer edges! I got everything I wanted!

UP NEXT: Policies... They're not just for Corporate America anymore!

Family - the ties that bind...

Thu, 14 Feb 2008 00:51:52 GMT

... us like we're masochists!!

I have this thing where I don't like to keep secrets from my family. It's not like I ever could anyway. We are ALL in each others' business anyway! +1 and I knew everyone would think we were crazy (you, dear reader, probably think we're crazy!), but we knew we had together. We knew we wouldn't be happy unless we went on this journey together. We kept our secret. Until I broke down and told my closest friends! LOL! I COULDN'T HELP IT!

I was scared of what my girlfriends would think, so I literally did a HIT-AND-RUN. I hit them up on AIM or GOOGLECHAT and then signed off. I later emailed them pictures of my marriage certificate in case they were in disbelief.

I never should have doubted them. They were so happy for me and UBERSupportive. I couldn't ask for better friends.

On Christmas day, +1 formally asked my Daddy if it'd be okay if he married me. We still didn't have a ring, but we had the approval of my father and that was more than enough for us! Since his parents STILL weren't over the fact that we weren't virgins... we figured we'd wait until CNY (Chinese New Year).

AND NOW!! TIME FOR SOME WEDDING PLANNING!

So after asking my ladies to be my bridesmaids (I was too excited to sit and make the cards first!), I got started on making their cards. Are you catching the trend? +1 and I like to work SDRAWKCAB|BACKWARDS!!

I originally thought I wanted a wedding with my color being a deep, crushed red and my flower being the Cala Lilly, but that was actually my Twin's color palette. All the sudden, it came to me... MY COLOR PALETTE!

BLACK, CHAMPAGNE, and IVORY! Our wedding will be in my hometown of New Orleans, LA, and what better way to celebrate my wedding than to incorporate the "feel" of the city! My theme revolves around the Fleur-de-Lys and my color palette. I have been working diligently to find a good balance between my Asian roots and my desire to break free from it a bit.

SO HERE IS MY FIRST DIY PROJECT: The Bridesmaids' Thank You's!

I started off with some LARGE, archival quality craft paper. It's called "Black Brushed Cotton". I measured and scored the card and then measured two other cards approximated .5" smaller all around than the one before it. I then chose a corner punch style and glued the cards on top of each other. I then bought some champagne colore rhinestones and glued them into the little corners.

Don't make my mistake though! I got so excited, I didn't type it up and print it on paper, so I had to resort to my own handwriting! OUCH! Oh well, I was too far into the game to go back!

I wrote my own ghetto poem:

Flowers, candy, vases, and lace...

Curling and crimping... making up your pretty face...

Calling to the pastor and making the ring boy walk faster...

Doing what you can to make everything a little better.

Thanks for saying you'll be my Bridesmaid, XXXXX!

~With Appreciation~

PANDAMONIUM

And here it is!

Without the wax seal:

The finished product:

A close up:

Next up: What better way to ring in the new year than with a NEW RING? Or three or four or FIVE in my case!

Decisions, decisions...

Wed, 13 Feb 2008 21:49:37 GMT

So let me sum up the two months leading into us standing before a Judge and stating our marriage vows:

* Four days after I met +1 (that's my FI), I decided I would quit my job. Since my company's sick and personal days are "use it or lose it", I decided to "use" them and then quit. A mere 9 days after I met Tuan, I gave my two weeks' notice, but my company said to just leave ASAP and send everything overnight delivery to them.

* About twenty days after we met, he moved in with me. Why pay rent to live in your family's house when you can live with me for free?! Two days after that, we opened joint checking accounts and closed our personal accounts. NO SECRETS HERE. Everything is mutual property. I immediately started my own private consulting business and he continued working.

* I knew he had a lot of student loans and credit card debt coming into the whole thing, but I was confident I could help him get his life (and CREDIT!) back in order. Then came the WHAMMY: HIS PARENTS!! Needless to say, in the first two months of being together, +1 and I paid over $10,000 in debt (not even OUR OWN debt) and we bought his parents a used Toyota Camary.

Question: If you were me, would you have left him? Well, clearly, I didn't. That makes me either stupid, or I know something you don't know!!!!

* So then it comes time to meet his parents. OMG! All I can tell you is that I came into it like this:

But after a SILENT dinner, his mother asked me this: ARE YOU A VIRGIN?

I looked to +1 for answers. After some mild choking, he replies (in Vietnamese), "Of course we are!" His mother burst into tears and screamed he was a liar. I should've known I'd never have a relationship with his family.

* So on the eve of my Twin's wedding (this is her above), +1 and I had started to talk more and more about what we wanted for our future together. We calmly discussed everything we could think of under the moon. He then laughs a bit and says, "You're going to be my wife, right?" I laughed and kissed him. What a nut job! After my Twin's wedding, we came home and further discussed this wedding of ours and hey, why not just do it? A fellow Xangan had eloped one morning because he figured, "Why wait when you know you love the person?" and they are now back tracking and doing the whole wedding ring shopping and planning like we are now!

* The next day, we headed out to get our Marriage License. He was so excited and distracted at the same time. We had no rings, no witnesses, no money, no... NOTHING! But I can't tell you how happy I was. We were MARRIED!

Next time: To tell your family... or not?

A bride to be... Sort of?

Tue, 12 Feb 2008 22:52:52 GMT

When I was little, I dreamed of getting married before I was 21.

When I was 21, I hoped I'd be married by 24.

When I hit 24, I realized it was time to stop focusing on who I'm going to marry and instead, divert my attention to WHERE MY CAREER IS GOING.

As the months rolled by following my 24th birthday, I figured that there were fates far worse than 1) singledom and 2) BAD FIRST DATES. Since my travel schedule started picking up, I found myself splitting my time between Boston, MA and Houston, TX. I don't know about you, but city hopping for 24 straight days can make a girl go CRAZY and not to mention TIRED!

When I finally returned to Houston, it was to celebrate my sister's friend's birthday. It was July 19, 2007 and I was deleriously tired from being in meetings all morning, and then sitting at the airport all day. I took a nap before my sister hustled me out of the house to our favorite Thursday night activity: 80s Night at Sammy's. I don't know what it is about 80s music, but I can never get enough of it (and it's funny because I wasn't alive for most of it!).

My usual style is to always, always, always wear dresses when I am "going out". I love to look fun and flirty and, well, cute. On this particular night, I was just so tired so I threw on some jeans, a strapless top and a vest that had a skull & crossbones on it (I was going through a phase...). This is probably the only time I can think of when I went out and looked absolutely hideous.

This is also the night that I met my now husband/fiance.

So how DID we meet? Basically, he was drunk and had hit on two girls before me, both proving unsuccessful. His bald headed friend encouraged him (shoved him) to talk to me so he laughed a little bit and said, "I think you're the most beautiful girl here." I almost died from laughing - I love corniness! Unphased by the night's previous suitors' attempts, I indulged him in some light conversation. We got to talking and as it turns out, he moved from Boston, MA to Houston, TX. How weird is that?

The conversation progressed quite naturally about everything under the sun except about what we did for a living. Why? Well, quite frankly, I didn't care because I wasn't interested in meeting anyone that night. He even pointed out my diamond cross pendant and proudly declared, "You're Catholic? I'M CATHOLIC, TOO!" HAHAHA! He just kept me laughing all night with his general corniness. I'm lame, I know.

Finally, he asked me how come I never asked him what he does for a living, and I bluntly replied that I simply did not care. A man is measured by his character and not his pocketbook, afterall. That's when the conversation got serious. I'm the type of woman that likes to be upfront. I wanted the straight truth from him and I called him out before he could even have a chance to embellish the truth. I'm intuitive like that .

That night, we exchanged numbers (I still have the little piece of paper where he wrote his name and phone number!) but he kept repeating that I'd forget him the next day. When I came home that night, I texted him with my phone number and told him not to forget me. That morning, he called me for lunch since I was leaving for Dallas that morning. I delayed my trip for a few hours to share a meal with him.

Two months later, I found myself at the Harris County Court House, preparing to marry him. We had no money (more on this another day), we had no house, and we had no witnesses. All we had was each other and hope for our future. People may think we're crazy, but the reality is... we're just crazy for each other!

(corny, I know!)

Welcome to Panda Land...

Tue, 12 Feb 2008 10:12:14 GMT

... grab a cup of coffee because this is your break from work! (I know you're reading this at work!)