Proclaiming Victories.

You always know there is going to be an awesome victory when you have LOTS of adversity coming your way. Hold on tight and look at the end of the tunnel. The light is never really that far away, you just have to hold on long enough. There is an evil source wanting to pull you away from where you should really be.

Last week was one rough week. I think Kou and I were at our lowest, that we've ever been before. All I wanted to do was scream and disappear. Its a good think that Kou and I have such great friends and mentors, people that we look up to that are willing to help us through anything. They helped us realized why Kou and I were brought together and what we were meant to do with our lives.

We had a weekend conference to attend in Columbus, Ohio and we left my mom and Evelyn home. Oh gosh, I missed Evelyn so much!! I couldn't fall alseep without staring at pictures and watching her videos on my digital camera. But its was a good thing that only Kou and I were there cause we were focusing just on US. We had a great time.

AWESOME news on EVELYN; she has FINALLY learned how to CRAWL. She's doing such a great job and cralwing all over the place. My mom has put up barriers (pillows) so she doesn't hurt herself. Our place has now become too small for her. I'm glad that we're moving out in a couple of months, so that way Evelyn can get more room to place. We also had to lower her crib mattress. I was afraid she would climb towards the top and fall out.

All these good things are happening and it seems like time I finally put the "negative" past behind and start fresh. Everyday is a BRAND NEW day.

Week of July 3rd-10th.

*Lots of photos.

July Fourth was a [little] hectic. There was MANY, MANY things to do and places to be. Hopped back and forth from home to SIL's house, to tournament and funeral home. Many people in town for good and bad reasons. Very late nights and no clubbing for me!! =(  So why do I bother to go to the tournament when its always the same thing every year?! I don't know, I guess it just something to do. I don't want to go into details, but I had an okay three day weekend.

Playing around at Bongkok Ave Club, before the concert. Kou, Hlau, & CJ.

Kou & Jann @ Bangkok Ave.

Evelyn at the Tournament.

Taking a nap w/ Daddy at Tourny.

Our fireworks.

Evelyn w/ her cousin, GaoYer.

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I decided to take some random days off this summer, starting with Wednesday and Thursday. Wednesday I had appointments with Evelyn and my mother with the same doctor.

Evelyn's stats; -- She is 15lbs and 1oz, she is also 25 1/4 inches long/tall.  I mentioned earlier that I wouldn't be surprised that she was smaller than others. BUT to my own SURPRISE the Doctor says she's "perfect"!! She was right in the middle and average 50 percental for her age. YEAH, I'm so happy she's "normal". Dr also says that she developing perfectly as well.

Evelyn crawling.

My mom has some back problems so the Dr recommended some physical therapy for her. I feel good that I'm actually helping my mom out and getting her treatments that she needs.

Wednesday night we decided to go to Mystic Lake for the Seafood buffet. We were actually treated from my SIL for helping her out for her Husband's concert.

Evelyn is "CRABBY".

Thursday was my "clean up" day. I LOVE it when my house is CLEAN. I cleaned the room and picked up our clothes. I cleaned the bathroom and vaccummed the house. This weekend I need to focus on the kitchen and reorganize the living toom. I also need to throw away JUNK cause we're moving at the end of September.

I took Evelyn and my mom out to the park after the crazy storm that we had. It was still kinda cloudy and I know that the best to take pictures in cause there's less shadows, but as soon as we got to the park the sun was out and bright as ever. Pictures didn't turn out as great as I'd like, but its probably cause I need to get a higher priced/advanced camera (even though mine was already 500!!).

My mom.

Grandma & Evelyn.

Litle Miss Evelyn.

SIX MONTHS.

At SIX MONTHS Evelyn can;

-eat two bowls of rice cereal a day, about 2-3oz.. Once during lunch at 1pm and another time during dinner at 6pm.

-eat 4 oz of formula at one feeding. We've been trying to get her to drink more (5-6iz) but since she's been sick she hasn't gotten much down.

-sit up all by herself will no support.

-reach for her toys while laying on her stomach.

-ALMOST crawl. She is [THIS] close!! She can be on all fours (hands and knees) and rock back and forth. But she has not learned how to move yet.

-sleep through the night!! Woo-hoo, I am so blessed she's always been able to do this, other than when she was sick. At night, she usually falls asleep in my arms, while sucking her pacifier around 9:30-10om. Then she usually wake up around 6-7am.

-scream and clench her fist when she is EXCITED!

-lets you know she wants to be picked up when she puts her arms out.

-LOVES the outdoors and water. She is outside everyday with either Grandma or mommy.

I think thats mostly it for Evelyn. I'm so proud of her and all her developmental stages that she hit so far. I know that she may be a little small for her age, she still fits into her 3 month clothes. But she surely is far above the rest!! Evelyn has her 6 month checkup on July 9th, so I'm excited to see how she is doing physically. I would NOT be surprised if she is on the smaller side of the scale.

---FUNNY STORY---

This is what I've been WANTING to share just because I thought it was SO FUNNY, but I didn't have the pictures to show. *Side note; we got out internet back up!!

Two weekends ago we were at Phalen Park watching my brother play volleyball. I gave Evelyn an empty water bottle to play with. After a couple couple mintues she decides that she wants to put the bottle in her mouth. I thought it was HILARIOUS and started snapping away.

She was just too cute!! She had let go of the bottle but it was still in her mouth, she was just shaking her head back and forth. Suddenly she got this look on her face. This look like "HELP ME MOMMY." Then while still snapping pictures, I realized that she was scared and confused. As I went to go pull the bottle out I realized that the bottle was STUCK in her mouth. The neck of the bottle had a little indent that was stuck on her gums. After I finally got the bottle out, she was crying, she was bleeding on her gums. Poor baby - I was laughing, baby was crying and my mom was yelling at me, telling me I was such a bad mommy for letting her do that to herself. =D Lesson learned, no more bottle for Evelyn!!

I wanted to take some professional pictures of Evelyn, since she's six months old now, but I think that we'll wait cause I'm broke for now. But GOOD NEWS; Kou FINALLY got a job. We got the good news earlier and he started TOMORROW. Yes!!

**Will post MORE pictures once I get home.

Sleepless night / SIX years.

Evelyn is overcoming a runny nose!! Yesterday when I came home from work I noticed she had some boogars coming down from her nose. I was hoping that she would have gotten better by the days end, but I guess it got worst. Last night she kept waking up every other hour. She couldn't breathe through her nose and would wake up crying and bawling. We also had to put her in bed with us. I don't like having her in bed with us cause our bed is small enough for the both of us. Kou and I would switched off on calming her back to sleep.  This morning when she woke up, she was the happiest little girl in the world!! Just smiling and laughing. I wished she was like that last night. Hopefully she will get better cause I don't think I can do another night.

------SIX YEARS------

Yesterday was Kou and I's SIX YEAR anniversary! WOW six years. I almost couldn't believe it. It almost made me feel old, cause I've been with him since I was 16 and now I'm 22!  We had a nice night together and thats all that I could really ask for, after what we've been through in the past couple weeks. I got off of work at 6pm, came home and changed, got baby ready and headed out to Como park. We left baby with my mom and let them walk on their own pace. Kou and I decided to walk a little faster and jog around the lake. At one point we got really tired and just walked and waited for my mom and baby to catch up. We had a nice chat and held hands while walking. It felt weird cause I don't think that we've held hands for awhile now! =D I felt like a little girl again, all embarrassed by holding my BF's hand in public.

Took some pictures of my mom and Evelyn at the waterfall. My mom says that it was because Kou took Evelyn really close (basically touching the waterfall) and scared Evelyn, that why her symptoms had gotten worst. Oh well, we still had a nice family night together.

I really wish our internet was up so I can post some pictures!

Even through everything that we've been through in the past couple of years, especially this year, I still feel so much love for Kou. I know in my last entry I stated I had very little love for him, but that was stated in anger and hurt. Sometimes when we go through our rough times, I try and imagine my life without him and I just can't do it. He will always be a part of my life and will always in a part of Evelyn's life.

When I married him, it was for a life long commitment, no matter what good and bad we had. Our greatest struggles, will be our great victories. I'm looking forward to the many victories that we will have. I feel like there is an enemy (Satan) out there who is trying to pull us apart and divide us. We're trying our best to have faith and hold on, we know that our love is stronger than anything that is breaking us apart. We're working daily to become fully unified again.  

"Love, through all the ups and downs the joy and hurt. Love for better or worst, I will still choose you first." -Musiq Soulchild

Completely STUCK.

DANG IT, I had a good entry written and it just deleted!! Starting all over again.

So what can you do when you feel completely STUCK? Like you can't go forward and there's no way for you to go back?  For a moment in time, I hated being ME. It felt like an out of body experience, is this REALLY my life? How did I ever get myself in this mess? I keep telling myself to hang on for one more day and hopefully things will get better, but what if I feel like the next day will never come? Or what if I don't want to the next day to come, its another day to be in the drama of things. After everything I have very little love and respect for the person who I should love and respect the most.

Weekend was GREAT other than the big blowout. We spent LOTS of time at PARKS in different areas. Our internet has been turned off at home and I have so many pictures to post of Evelyn from this weekend. Pictures of her at the Yang picnic, splashing at the beach in her little two piece swim suit, getting a bottle stuck in her mouth and just other little kodak moments we had this weekend.

Good details of the weekend will be posted whenever I can get the pictures posted as well! =D