| i am getting a new xanga. i feel its time for me to move on from the last few months, so i am getting a new xanga. tell me if you want it. |
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| cw: 113
gw by tommorrow: 110(changed it)
miles ran: tba
i am fasting today and running at least 4 miles. i have a half day then i have to come home and pack so i will home most the day and update then.
i was watching a walk to remember and felt like putting up a picture of mandy moore goodness shes pretty |
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| cw: 114
gw by friday: 107
mile ran/exercise: 6[-600], -100 elliptical, 400 crunches
planned run: 3 miles
so tonight is the track meeting i dont think we actually run today but i am sorta excited. im gonna be super busy now. i have to work out a special plan for track to because of drama.
i wish i was dating adam brody and was that cute.
fasted then binged and purged..track after school then i am doing work then running some more.
edit////
track today was just a meeting and he said my scheduel issues were fine as long as i could be there AT LEAST once a week. so i said that was fine. i ran a 5k for practice and im running 3 miles on the treadmill while watching the oc. my mile time is 7.5 minutes i plan to make it 6.5 minutes by the begginging of april. sounds good? i ate half a cup of lettuce for dinner and i am not eating until at least saturday morning.
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| cw: 114
gw by saturday: 107
mile ran: 2
so i still feel a bit like shit but i have to go to school or it will be obvious im trying to escape reality. lately, my parents have been all on my back about my "eating patterns". mom's all like starving yourself wont heal heartbreak and dads just not helpful at all either. i am not starving myself to help heartbreak fuck i wish i was doing that. i am going shopping tonight for spring break clothes and i really want this one swim suit from urban.
i am in love with their legs
editt////
ate half a cesear salad because dad made me. bought many clothes. im an xxsmall in shirts now and a 2 in pants yay yay yay. so today was one of those unexpected days. first off the morning sorta sucked. then i decided i am going to join track. yeah im pretty siked. i think itll be cool. i need more extra-ciriculars and track sounds good. plus yay for exercise. im not the fastest runner in the world though. as well, today i had this really in depth conversation with this guy samory who ive alway had a bit of a hissy fit with. suprisingly it was really really amazing, it was like he knew how i felt. hes actually a really nice guy. that opened my eyes.
goal: run at least 2 miles per day
fast: 7pm on wednesday until 7pm on saturday[96 hours]
ps im excited about this whole track thing, i feel so much better after running. i feel like im making myself better inside and out. its an outlet to get my anger and feelings out as well as burn calories and gain muscle(which i dont have that much of). i will run track and i will get up to running at least 5 miles a day EASILY before the summer. |
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| cw: 115.
gw: 107 by saturday morning
i am still sick ugh. i have liquid fasted today 300 calories worth. today at 4:30 i started my 4 day fast. i will fast til saturday at 4:30. then it's spring break week. so i will most likely have to eat lunch&dinner. i can escape breakfast. i am thinking of going running each morning or swimming in the pool. that way i will be escaping breakfast&exercising.
on tommorrows menu: 1 black, 1 diet soda, 5-8 cups water, 3 coffees[15], 2 pieces of gum[5]
i am going to school because if i dont, i will have to eat. so school whooo hooo. at least friday is a half day and the start of spring break 06(hopefully i will be at least 110 by then).
i feel giant grosssss
pretty adorible, eh?
dear colin,
i am no longer opening my mouth about our breakup, that only causes problems but this is my apology. i am sorry. i love you and always will but i am sorry. i was never good to you. i never treated you like you should be treated. you were always amazing to me. i was selfish and self centered. im sorry. please forgive me. i just want to be friends. friends who can talk and not have to have awkward CAKE conversations.
love always, hannah |
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