things are looking up again. as I try to get my life back on track, my emotions keep changing. i've been staying up a lot, from like 5-7am. waking up pretty damn late. I will be starting a new job at Copelands and my birthday is only 5 days away! This Saturday I turn 20! I want to wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving.

it's been a long time since i've posted here and talked to anyone in my past. to many, i am a mystery, a disappearance, just a memory. life has been depressing as of late and i always find myself always writing the bad things in life. i have been partying and clubbing lately and it is fun with all the wild n crazy things happening, but when i go home and wake up, i realize i'm still alone.

not having a job and not having a real hobby left me with too much time to think. when i think a lot, it gets depressing, the body is weak when the mind is weak. as my emotional sickness takes over me, my body is rejecting everything and not working right. its hard to eat, hard to breathe. venting my feelings is a sigh of relief for a bit, but what does it matter when no one can hear your cries . it's sunday and i was thinking of goin to church, which i believe i haven't gone in like 1-2 years. i don't know what to do anymore or who to turn to.

I bottle up my problems and don't express my feelings ever.. I'm working on it but I blew up today, couldn't eat, and I was shaking while yelling.

Today

well i just put in my 2 weeks for my job so i'll be looking for another job soon. i thought my manager was pulling something devious and messing with my emotions but I yelled at him for a while and got things straightened out and it was just a lack of communication and information leading to me feeling like an idiot but the drama was already done and I couldn't eat much today. Shared a dessert with a coworker who tried to convince me not to quit, was the only compassion I've seen in a while but I'll be forgotten in a month. The upside? I might go get both my ears pierced n tongue pierced since I wasn't able to do that while working at my job since I would have to take em up and the holes would close. I'm changing again and getting annoyed easy

Thursday:

Saw Ring 2 with Michelle, I haven't seen Ring 1, but Ring 2 blows. Went clubbin with my crew at Baja and it was fun and than went back to Teddy's new crib in Towson.

Friday:

Chilled with Brandon and than shopped for amps for my subs. Brice n Brandon worked on my car 3 hours, got a nice wiring going on and now my camaro bumps like a mofo. mad props to em for helpin and doin such a damn good job.

Saturday:

Calvert County---> 'Beachhouse'--->Cops--->Drama

Sunday

Get-errrrrr done