so i've been in seattle over a month now!!! it's crazy how fast time fiies by.... life has been so busy. moving. meeting new people. seeing kara and jon :) pete and sarah's wedding. starting classes. clinicals. stressing about trying to stay organized and on top of things. trying to buy a car.... gugh. had my first emotional break down this week! i think the root of it was feeling anxious about always having to worry about transportation and feeling disorganized. that probably sounds dumb but i'm not really in the mood at the moment to explain in greater detail.... it's not that interesting anyways. it felt really great to let all the built up anxiety out. cry. i've been swimming on a regular basis which i've found i really love!

all these new things that have come with moving. yoga. biking. swimming. hiking. : ) i love it. i feel active and alive. feel like i'm eating well... except for last night only having ice cream for dinner. it was ben and jerry's chocolate brownie fudge - can you blame me??? i don't feel like i'm sleeping well.... but i never really do so that hasn't changed much.

ok - i know this post is absolutely all over the place. such is the story of my life at the moment... but that's ok. i just finished the third week of nursing school! and it would probably be worth while to spend a lot of time this weekend reading and studying... but i also am learning - that with our crazy schedule - if i don't take time away from all the academic stuff and give myself time to be quiet and get away i'm going to go crazy. so tomorrow daniel and i are heading up to canada to go hiking and camping. i'm really excited. we don't have much of a plan - just gonna drive to canada and see where we end up. i like that kind of traveling. no expectations. just enjoy whatever happens.

speaking of daniel - he's one of my new best friends!!! i know that sounds a bit dramatic but it's pretty accurate. we connected a month or two before school started after he sent an email to the group introducing himself. i replied to him telling him we were going to be best friends! he responded that he wanted to be my best friend too. i don't really know what possessed me to do such a thing but i did. and it pretty much is turning out to be true! he's been an incredible friend to me so far. we had this instant deep connection. we're an amazing team - really take care of each other well. he loves and serves me. he inspires me to love people. he's been such a blessing - one of the most generous people i've ever met. i'm really thankful for him. his mama is coming to visit at the end of july so i'm looking forward to spending time with her..... and... daniel and i are both going to be in chicago over winter break!!! his mom actually lives downtown chicago which works out perfectly. there's a chance she'll be moving away but he said he still wants to come and meet all my friends and family regardless. it'll be a great time.

but i guess i shouldn't jump too far ahead. trying to stay focused on being present. focusing my prayers on "give us this day our daily bread." i'm trying to remember that the lord provides all that we need for today. i don't' want to worry about tomorrow or the next week. i want to ask the lord and be thankful and present for everything today brings : )

and at the moment... that means sleep! goodnight all.
blessings and love from seattle.

so much going on in life.... but for now i'm happy in israel.  deb meets me here tomorrow and our adventure begins : )  made some good friends in elal security while i was in spain... spent far too much time with them as picked through ever piece of my luggage and took me in a secret room to make sure i wasn't hiding weapons. 
turns out i wasn't really a threat : )

seriously i love traveling alone.  i just took my time - enjoyed watching and interacting with random people - i really love people - but you already know that....

thankful for the next three weeks to be in one of my favorite places in the world.  my heart feels so good here : ) 

days like today are why i love and am honored to do my job.  although i only slept a few hours last night - i was energized today.  spent 8 hours in the hospital with a young woman - 28 years old - who tried to kill herself last night.  [overdose]  she was brought into the er - and i was the first person she saw and interacted with once she woke up from all the confusion. 

her first question was, 'where am i?'

when i told her the hospital - she burst into tears - because she was upset she wasn't dead.

my heart broke into a thousand pieces.

what could i say to someone who was tormented to be alive???  i certainly couldn't "fix"her - or simply tell her everything would be ok because god loves her.  i couldn't tell her i knew what she was going through and that she'd be fine.  this was her fourth attempt - and she said she'd try again when we released her : (

so she finally drifted off to sleep again - which gave me 4 hours to pray and read.  father - give me your heart for this woman - put your spirit deep inside her - only you can change her heart - give hope - bring peace and healing...  let me be your love to her.

so our day finished with the most beautiful heart connection.  ya know the difference between having a conversation and a heart connection??  we both had tears in our eyes.... speaking honestly and truthfully to one another.  i believe we both were encouraged.  deep in my soul i believe she has a lot more life to live.  praying that in the moments of deep pain and suffering - the lord would bring to her mind the love and grace and hope we spoke about.... may she have the courage and strength to choose to live in those moments.