My life is pretty much a waste as of right now. its really depressing. all i do is work and hang out by myself. Almost none of my friends ever try to make plans with me and when i try to make plans with them they ditch me. I don't feel like anyone REALLY knows me, maybe thats my fault but whatever.  I'm just freaking wasting my life away. I'm always by myslef, I never try at anything I do, I'm stupid as hell and I'm never going to have a good future and im going to die alone. The sad thing is that im starting to care less and less.

ok the end.

theres my depressing entry for the week.

good day ya'll.

ohh look im doing this again. haha.

i hate school cause im stupid.

the end.

         No matter how hard I try to fix things in my life, it just never seems to work. Once I change something for the better another thing goes drastically wrong. I just can't find a freakin balance and it's driving me crazy. The past few days, I've had a lot of time on my hands which can only mean that I've been anazlyzing and thinking way too much for my own good.

        As happy and relieved I am that one unhealthy, bad relationship ended, I've come to realize that I've grown so far apart to people I love with all my heart. Often when I see or talk to my friends, I just feel like a complete stranger, even with a room full of people I feel so amazingly lonley. I don't know if there's one person out there who really knows me, like EVERYTHING about me. I'm not really the type to open up about things because I hate drama (which is funny cause that's all my life consits of) and I hate pity or any of that crap.

       I miss the way things used to be. I miss my old friends, whom I only get to see every couple of weeks. I miss my friends here whom I've grown apart from. I miss those late night walks around the neighborhood, just talkin about everything. I just miss so much about the past and no matter how much I try, I can't get it back.

       Change sucks but its inevitable.

the end.

man, i tried so hard to keep this freakin thing updated... i guess im just not a xanga kinda gal.

go myspace! woo!

Wow. I should really stick with these things.... Hopefully I'll keep this lil bizzotch updated for a while. I don't really have much to say at the moment. Haha what a good blog...