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Friday, July 18, 2008

  • The Virtual Insanity Issue

    Hey, all you hardware and software.  I think I've been spending waaaaaay too much time on Xanga.  It's like watching a good movie.  You don't want to get up to go to the bathroom or get more popcorn because you're afraid you'll miss something good.  And with the abundance of well-written and excruciatingly funny blogs I've discovered, I feel like I've gotten lost in the Xanga forest and stumbled upon the secret, magical, enchanted village of blog hobbits... or something like that.

    It's also got me thinking about the whole issue of online social interaction.  It's a unique thing.  I have trouble navigating the real world but I think the online world is more forgiving.  So for me, it's a good place to practice being a real person.

    Be easy.

    Is This Seat Taken?

    I look at Xanga and other online communties as a high school lunchroom.  In high school every clique sat at a different table.  There was a well-defined social hierarchy and like the Indian caste system it was damn near impossible to change classes.  You've got a table for your popular kids, artsy kids, class clowns, emo kids, punks, etc.  Online there are definitely distinct circles of bloggers... photographers, ranters, poets, food bloggers, what-i-did-at-school-today bloggers, anime fans, etc.

    The online world, however isn't as rigid as real the world.  What made me realize this is the fact that I have online friends whom I know I wouldn't be friends with if I had met them in the real world first.

    Online, you have the opportunity to really make a good first impression.  You can circumvent the initial evaluation based on your physical appearance.  Even if you have a real profile pic of yourself, you probably suffer from the Myspace Profile Pic Disorder (MPPD) i.e. it's you but looks a lot better than you do in real life.  You can let your personality and mind speak for you through your writing.  You can carefully craft what you say and minimize the occurrence of the wish-i-had-thought-to-say-that-before syndrome.

    A number of questions arise out of the differences surrounding online and real life friendships.  For instance do you value one over the other?  You may have shared very deep and personal exchanges with your online friends, but when you think of your close friends do you consider any of your online friends among them?  Do you ever let your two worlds collide?  Do you think who a person is online is who they are in real life?

    Friendships confined to the online universe are a unique thing.  Perhaps we need to create a new word to describe these relationships.  VFF? Virtual friends forever?  Can you consider someone you've never seen or spoken to in the real world a real friend?  Is someone whom you exchange comments with on your blogs a real friend?  This is some message in a bottle type stuff.  Along these lines, a certain peculiarity has emerged in my life.  There are people whom I interact with online, but when we encounter each other in the real world, we act as if we don't know each other.  Strange, no?

    Now maybe the real world isn't as rigid as it used to be either.  We definitely can see the breaking down of barriers and blurring of dividing lines.  Maybe that means I just need to log off my computer and get out more.

    Just some food for thought.  Good day to you.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

  • The May I See Some ID Issue

    Hey, all you handstamps and wristbands.  I am going to do it.  I am going to attempt a real blog.  I unearthed one of my old Xanga notebooks circa 2004.  It might be assumed that I would have the privilege of saying something to the effect of, "Man I was stupid back then."  The sad reality is that I was probably smarter.  And braver.  And any other positive -er adjective you can think of.  Oh, wait.  I'm starting to get into the topic of my blog.  Right, then, let me get to it.

    Be easy.


    Time Traveler Straddler

    I am afraid.  I am dying.

    Well, in the philosophical sense that we are all dying.  Despite my most juvenile efforts (that is to say my efforts at maintaining youthfulness), I have come face to face with my own mortality.  I have a torso composed of street hotdogs and obscene smelling chicken and rice from the Halal lunch carts.

    Yes, it was my slow metabolism afflicted gut that promptly informed me that I am not a kid anymore.  In fact, I am way past kid.  It was a sad day when I had to give up the "-teen" suffix and now shortly I'll be losing the "twenty-" prefix. 

    *shudders*

    19 really doesn't seem that long ago and because I so firmly straddle the past and the present, I am left quite disoriented.

    For instance, I have no accurate gauge of how old people are.  People I meet through work oftentimes seem old as hell to me.  It's a big shock to the system when I later find that they are around my age.  Young bucks whom I encounter I think to be around my age, only to find out that while they were eating Corn Pops and watching Power Rangers, I was crushing chicks in the club.  Well, not so much crushing chicks at the club but more crushing on chicks... in 10th grade Latin Club.

    Aside from the fact that my body is reluctant to part with the processed meats I ingest and clings to it like a young girl to her first relationship that is swiftly dying because boyfriend is going to college where it's a hot girl buffet, and my inability to distinguish a milf from a prom queen, there are other telltale signs that I'm getting older.

    Practicality has become a priority in my life.  There was a time when I could go more than a month without wearing the same outfit (with the exception of underwear of course.  Who has 60 pairs of underwear?  Oh... girls).  Now, I've whittled the wardrobe down to about 3 pairs of jeans, a few button downs, some tees, and 3 pairs of shoes (1 pair of sneakers, 1 pair of work, and 1 dress).  That's pretty much what's in rotation.  It seems I'd rather scrimp all my pennies together in the hopes of one day having enough for a downpayment on a condo, than being all flossed out at the next birthday party at Applebees.  Sheesh.

    Then there's culture.  It's difficult to describe the feeling of hearing "Back in the day... kickin' it old school" preface a song on the radio that's still on one of my current ipod playlists.  I don't listen to the radio and have considered referencing Now That's What I Call Music just to stay up to date.  Pathetic.  Also, the fact that I have to visit urbandictionary.com several times just to be able to decipher someone's blog is disheartening.

    As old age creeps up on me, I can't help but lose my train of thought in the middle of writing this blog.  What else did I want to say?  Maybe I need a nap.  I nap like I should be wearing cardigans and a hearing aid and taking out my teeth and putting them in a glass of water at night.  Dreamy.

    So what really prompted this blog?  Perhaps the current marriage epidemic that has engulfed and ravaged my peers.  Perhaps it's the fact that switching careers at this stage has put me in a regressed mindstate.  Well, whatever the case may be I have acquired one bit of wisdom along my arduous travels.  And that is we must treat life like a girl with a heavy menstrual cycle at a good ass freestyle battle and just go with the flow.  So, age back down.  You can't fade me like an afro.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

  • The Back to Basics Issue

    What up all you Pokemons and Pokegirls?  I've often thought, "If only I could go back and relive parts of my life knowing what I know now."  I know that with age comes wisdom (hopefully, since some of us stay stupid for a really long time and by us I mean me.)  But at the same time I know that as we get older, life gets more complicated.  Sometimes it gets so complicated that you lose sight of what's really important.

    So I'd like to simplify my life as much as possible and get back to the things that are truly important to me and bring me happiness... like my Japan videos... and Xanga of course ;)

    Also, I think I need a vacation.  Where should I go next?  I want to do another vacation reality show.  Care to join Season 2 of "_______ (fill in the blank) Boys"?

    Live life.

    Be easy.



    My Trip to Japan!: Harajuku Boys Episode 4


Thursday, June 12, 2008

  • The List Issue

    Hey, all you milk duds and chocolate milks.  This issue is all about lists.  I think they are a great way for keeping life organized: to-do lists, mp3 playlists, grocery lists, bucket lists, top 10 hottest girls of all time lists, and menus (menus are lists of food, mmmm good reading)  I even have physical to-do lists which consist of highly organized piles of things around my room categorized by priority of "will-get-to-somedayness".  Also, if you're lazy, it's an easy, no fuss no muss way to blog.  What is muss?

    What kinds of lists do you keep?

    Be easy.


    Why I Like Babies

    -I can practice jokes on them without feeling embarrassed if they don't land.
    -I fart but they poop their pants.
    -They don't talk that much and they don't ask any questions.
    -You don't step on their feet when you dance.
    -They will listen to everything you have to say and won't offer advice or judge you when you are done.
    -Cheap dinner. $2.49/gallon milk.  What?  Babies can't drink regular milk?
    -Like to take naps.
    -They don't care how much I make.
    -If I say "I love you" and they don't say anything back it isn't awkward and I still mean it
    -I don't feel stupid or neglected when they ignore me.
    -They are portable.
    -I also enjoy the practicality and comfort of a "Onesie".
    -I drool when I see a hot chick.  They drool all the time.
    -Babies are a good biceps and shoulders workout.
    -Chicks dig babies so I try to keep a spare one on me at all times.  At weddings and other such events I borrow my friends' babies and play the single father card.  "Why oh why did she have to leave me and baby alone to fend for ourselves?"
    -They been rockin' bedhead since before it was cool.
    -They cry for no reason and it reminds me of when I had a girlfriend.
    -I have an excuse to watch cartoons.
    -No need to get all deep and insightful when we converse.  In fact I can say nonsense words and they don't care.
    -They like funny faces and funny sounds.
    -Problems are much easier to solve.  They're either hungry, wet, or sleepy.  Adults are much more complicated.
    -They smell like babies.
    -They act like funny little drunk people but aren't annoying and their puke is much easier to clean up.
    -You can move their mouth and give them a Mr. T voice and it's funny.
    -I can sing to a baby and not worry about my horrible singing voice
    -Best smile


    Why Toddlers Are Like Little Drunk People

    -incoherent babbling
    -often in some state of undress, i.e. shirtless or depantsed
    -wobble around struggling with balance
    -fall alseep anywhere
    -pot belly (cute at 2 but not 22)
    -sudden yak attacks
    -very emotional
    -difficulty paying attention
    -need to be carried home
    -like to pee where you're not supposed to pee
    -everything is funny to them
    -don't have money


    25

    OnePlusYou Quizzes and Widgets

    thanks to sargasm for the fight link


    Friend Openings - Inquire Within

    They say choose your friends wisely.  Well, call me Dumbledore because I am posting my prerequisites for friendship.  These are some of the attributes I strive to uphold (although rather unsuccessfully at times) and look for in others.  We are now accepting applications.  Operators are standing by.

    -Good sense of humor
    -Open-minded
    -Chill
    -Trustworthy
    -Someone I can talk to
    -Athletic or at least the inclination for physical activities
    -Driven
    -Honest
    -Thoughtful
    -Good listener
    -Insightful
    -Grounded
    -Sensitive
    -Good hearted
    -Focused
    -Creative in some way
    -Eager to learn

    It's funny because all the things I'm looking for in a friend are the things that I'm also looking for in a girlfriend.  I think of a girlfriend as your best friend whom you also happen to be physically attracted to.  That's why I prefer to be friends with a girl first before I start dating her.  Because if I can't make a friendship work, for sure I'm not going to be able to make a relationship work.

    I think with the right ingredients and the right recipe you can create something wonderful.  And that something wonderful is sweet buns with frosting.


    He Doesn't Fight Fair, He Fights Famous

    Celebs I could beat up
    Seth Green, Jason Schwartzman, Pete Wentz, Lil Wayne - they are small like a lollipop
    Jon Heder - he's always squinting so may not see my lightning attacks coming
    Billy Bob Thorton - he looks like he's always drunk
    Orlando Bloom - without his bow and arrow and band of merry men, he's nothing.  He looks fragile like porcelein statues that grandma keeps in her glass cabinet.

    Good Fight
    Lou Diamond Phillips - part asian, part Mexican he gotta be able to scrap
    Fergie - I saw her do a 1 hand cartwheel on American Idol and I think she weighs more than me
    Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite - his steak slinging skills give him an advantage
    Ben Stiller - he looks like he works out and also may try to disable me with the gel
    Gary Coleman - he may be a midget but an angry midget is a dangerous midget

    I look forward to beating up
    Vin Diesel - he has a voice like a monster and monsters must be slayed.
    Brad Pitt - pure jealousy.   Curse his abs in Fight Club.  Curse them.  I'm gonna get killer abs like that and I will shred him like a head of lettuce at Taco Bell on my belly.

    What celebrity do you want me to fight?  What celebrity would you like to fight?


    Street Culture - Get Educated!

    I admit that I'm not as hip as I used to be.  It's difficult to keep up with pop culture when I don't even watch TV or listen to the radio.  Since I know that fashion is cyclical, instead of trying to keep up with today's slang, I am merely going to resurrect old sayings.  So instead of being behind the times, I'll be a trendsetter.  So allow me to get you updated on the latest street jargon.

    Get out of town - No Way!: Jaems is blogging on Xanga again?  Get out of town.
    Whoop there it is - Dang look at that butt!: Is that Jaems tying his shoe?  Whoop there it is!
    Knocking the boots - Getting yo groove on: I heard Jaems never be knocking the boots.  Sike, get out of town.
    Fine - Beautiful: Dang, that girl so fine she blow my mind.
    All that and a bag of chips ahoy - superlative of all that: Keira Knightley is all that but Jennifer Love Hewitt is all that and a bag of chips ahoy.
    You go girl - Good job: You're man just broke up with you so you maxed out your credit card shopping at the mall to get over him?  You go girl!
    Go 'head wid ya bad self - Go for it!: You're man just broke up with you so you're gonna max out HIS credit card shopping at the mall to get back at him?  Go 'head wid ya bad self.
    Getting jiggy wid it - I still don't know what this means

    What old sayings do you think are funny?

  • What is one thing you find yourself doing that you promised yourself you never would?


    Answering a featured question.
       

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online now jaems

  • Visit jaems's Xanga Site
    • Name: Jaems
    • Birthday: 7/30/1978
    • Gender: Male
    • Member Since: 8/21/2002
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Chatboard (2)

  • jaems
    What can't you stand about yourself?
    • Posted 5/7/2008 4:41 PM
    • by jaems
  • jaems
    Would you marry someone who was the perfect onefor you but they turned into a werewolf every full moon? But as awerewolf, they still retain their faculties and are coherent and notdangerous and eat regular food like burgers and pizza.
    • Posted 5/7/2008 1:06 PM
    • by jaems

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