There seems to be much unneeded dispute between the Koreans and the Japanese on which race of the two should be hailed the better Asians.  After having read an issue of Electronic Gaming Monthly on the toilet, I have applied its entirely objective columns on comparisons to the (or what Eugene claims to be his) unbreakable 3-point scale, which has attempted to corroborate the superiority of several videogames over another.  The results were astonishing!

Air-Juggles:
Korean air-juggles consist of mid-air-540-triple-kicks.
Japanese air-juggles are only seen in videogames made by Capcom.
Winner:  Korea
Slams:
Ninjutsu has Izunas, while Sumo and Judo has an entire arsenal of slams.
No slamming opportunity could be found in any Korean activity.
Winner:  Japan
Beams:
The Kamehameha v.s.
Cancerous radiation from the latest Samsung computer monitors.
Winner:  Tie.

Once again, the 3-point scale fails to arbitrate the victor nor come to any valid conclusion.  But why pursue superiority when all Asian races are the same (at least to the eyes of the people of the country in which they live)?  Asian pride makes no sense.  How could you advocate the supremacy of your ethnicity if your parents or ancestors moved out of their home country to pursue greater happiness in the foreign land of America?  Once again, a mystery of the universe calls for further scrutinizing, hopefully not with Eugene's 3-point scale. 

And finally, some real, news:  Mami Shindo was spotted at Cafe Pacific today.  She did not accuse me of cheating on the cash register operation quiz.  Also, Darrick murdered a wasp with his bare hands... Which held a Kendo sword.  The guts went everywhere though, unfortunately, no photographs were taken.

My Winter break:

1.  Incredible Metal Gear Solid 3
2.  The so-so Howl's Moving Castle (new Studio Ghibli movie)
3.  Choosing between work and school
4.  Debating whether to take to NY my incredibly sweet Takamine DSP110 acoustic-electric guitar or my PS2
5.  Buying a new pickup for my ESP Horizon electric: Seymour Duncan SH-6
6.  Finally getting to play the piano (a Yamaha grand!)
7.  Amazing Japanese food/stores
8.  Chilling in Kansai with Gocchan
9.  A month without my housemates or Seiko sucks
10. Incredible Metal Gear Solid 3

Hurray!  I finally beat Star Ocean 3.

Now I can finally sell it!

As the only Asian and legal immigrant in a New Mexican public school, Garfield the cat was my only friend.  Every other kid on the playground was stronger, ran faster, and stole so much better than me that their elitist disposition left me sitting in their dust trails with nothing but books to smile upon.  I didn't know back then that the jokes in Garfield were recycled or hardly ever laughable; the characters just looked much friendlier and better drawn than the doodles those bullies made on my notebooks and often on my face.  It didn't matter to me how many times Garfield kicked Odie off the table.  Every time I got owned, it seemed fresh and funny to see someone besides me be tormented.

So when the capitalist pigs at Hollywood decided to make a movie with a CG Garfield, I welcomed the idea.  I knew the film was going to blow ass, but for some reason I didn't mind its doing so... That is until I actually saw the film for the first time on my flight back to Japan a few days ago.

It wasn't the fact that I had just boarded the plane after a late bus ride that almost made me miss the flight, nor two traffic jams, nor an accident in the snow storm that nearly got me killed, nor not having the chance to shower for over two straight days, nor even Jennifer Love Hewitt's role that led me to conclude that "Garfield, the Movie" could not even keep a toddler with a mental disability entertained.  Rather, it was the movie's ridiculous sponsorship from a dung heap of companies that robbed its plot and replaced it with a dozen commercials that made me loathe what used to be my favorite comic strip character.  I counted during the 80 minutes the following sponsors:

1. Pasta Pomodoro
2. Wendy's Hamburgers
3. Pepsi Cola
4. Some company that makes Jon's idiotic miniature train set
5. Benadril
6. Apple Computers
7. Those annoying faggots who make the "Got Milk?" ads
8. Viagra (Pfizer)
9. Victoria's Secret
10. The Scientologist Society of America
11. Jenna Jameson Licensed Dildos

I mean, they didn't even bother sneaking in the advertising.  It was as blatant as a character with allergies sneezing his ass off and asking his homosexual Smithers-like servant/lover Honey, where is my Benedril?  Come on.  Jim Davis makes enough money from comics and Garfield paraphernalia that he doesnt need to further degrade his sorry movies with dildo ads.

I ended up watching the movie twice anyway because I am such a sucker for Jenna Jameson.  The message is clear.  Say no to the Garfield movie, and yes to free sex.

Even Tony Danza advertised his new NBC show "Why Little Boys Are Always Hungry for My Cock" during the Garfield movie.