I was reading some of my old posts, and decided to repost the entry from February 14, 2006.
Do you know that feeling you get when you know you've been misunderstood? I know it well. I'm not saying that I'm always or even currently being misunderstood. But I am becoming more and more familiar with this fact of life we have come to label as 'misunderstanding'.
There are many reasons why misunderstandings occur. It could be as simple as a language barrier. I often try conversing with some Spanish speaking employees at the hospital. They usually end up laughing at me. Why? Because Spanish has never been my primary language, and what I've learned of it amounts to only basic conversational dialogue. But, most of the people I know speak English, and I still find that misunderstandings occur frequently. Different backgrounds and culture definitely come into play. The way in which someone has been parented, educated, religiously indoctrinated certainly cloud our understanding of one another. Also, our chosen worldview, or life-philosophy, plays a significant role as well.
Even Christians who are essentially likeminded in doctrine and practice misunderstand one another. I think there are many reasons for this. Sometimes the one who is being misunderstood is so enamored with his or her own opinion, that there comes a refusal to listen to anyone else. In other instances, the tables are turned, and the person who is misunderstanding refuses to allow another paradigm to invade his or her own world.
We are threatened by our differences, I'm afraid. At least I know I have felt this way before. I think listening is a great key to unlocking the treasure of potential relationships around us. I smile as I think about how some take advantage of the 'listener'. Have you had this happen to you before? You're committed to listen, to respect another's opinion, and to truly hear their heart. And as you listen, and listen, and, yawn, then listen some more, you slowly begin to realize that this person has no desire to listen to 'you'! Sometimes this is necessary to build trust and 'break the ice'. And there are times when your constant listening is viewed as weakness, and you are subjected to a super-dominant personality who refuses to yield the floor so another voice may be heard.
In Christ, we are one body. Jesus told us to love one another. We're always looking to be part of a group without conflict. But we live in a real world. A very real people live in this world.
Humans.
I'm one of them. So are you. You're reading this now, and I can tell you we don't really know each other. You don't know me. And I don't know you. Not really. But we can get to know each other better. We truly can. But at some point in this relationship, there is going to be difficulty. There will be disagreement, and a wide array of emotions will most likely come to the surface. But please don't be discouraged by this. This is part of how we build a friendship. It's not just learning the superficial likes and dislikes of one another, and pretending to respect them. We may come to an impasse, and not even speak to each other for a certain amount of time. But don't let us stop there. Jesus told us to love one another. Well, what is love? How is it manifested? What does it really look like? When we truly love each other, we are safe. Ah, but it is dangerous as well. There is risk involved, but I tell you, there is safety in true love. Love is an active, unconditional affection for one another. Remember that it's unconditional. In our hearts, we both know that we only seek each other's well-being. I may be overbearing at times, and that may make you uncomfortable. But I want you to tell me about it. Now, I say that... but when you tell me, it may hurt my feelings. Don't worry about this. Just speak the truth in love. I'll do the same for you. It's hard, and it's counterintuitive, but this is how we live, because we live in Christ. If my feelings are hurt, maybe it's because they were already wounded a long time ago, by people you don't even know. It's okay, we love the Lord, and He'll heal my feelings. Don't abandon our bond because we hurt each other. Instead, let us turn the tables and love one another more. Let's not be suspicious of each other. This is hard for me, but I'm here to walk in the Spirit, and this is part of it. In hard times, I may feel like just giving up on you. But those are, once again, merely feelings. I'm here for you. To pray for you, as you pray for me. One Lord, One Faith, One God and Father of all. He's in us both, and in all those who are in Christ.
Do you remember when Paul withstood Peter to the face, 'because he was to be blamed'? Peter's compromise had the potential to not only destroy Peter himself, but the church as a whole. Paul couldn't let it go. He spoke the truth in love. Paul didn't have a vendetta against Peter. He loved him, and He loved their Lord and His Church. What isn't recorded is Peter's immediate response to Paul's rebuke. I would imagine it wasn't easy to hear all of that. It probably hurt Peter's feelings. And it was probably hard for Paul to say what he said. But this all turned for the advancement of the gospel, and apparently furthering the bond between the two. Peter referred to Paul's writings as 'Scripture' long after this confrontation occurred. It may have given Peter a new respect and admiration for Paul, and Paul, in turn, may have had a newfound compassion for Peter. I don't know.
To be continued...
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