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jen4truth
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Name: Jennifer
Gender: Female
Interests: Eating out(fun people...or great food), Movies, Reading, driving around w/my dog,
Occupation: Manufacturing/production
Message: message me
Member Since:
3/29/2005
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| Olivia's First Entryohrh..mb v.l, grrvrrwww poiuyr Translation: I am still up. I should be in bed, but mom and dad are letting me wander around the apartment. I should really put them to bed. They can be a little unorganized. They say being consistant is half the battle. | | |
| Think happy thoughts......Well, with the new year has come some big changes to our every day lives. Andy and I are on a strict budget. We believe being free of debt will give us the finacial flexibility to help others and be stable once China takes over our economy. We are also giving up TV at night for Lent. This gives us the opportunity to spend more time focused on our little family. I have come to realize that Christ is not providing my joy. I have given that over to shopping and TV. I know we are making the right choices, but I believe I am now clinically depressed. I am shocked to what extent I've allowed these things to lull me into a false state of gladness. It will be a fight to the finish on these things. When all is said and done, I'm just hoping to be a little past awareness by Easter. Dang...I need an Easter dress. Dang. | | |
| Please Pray/ LentGuys please pray for my sister. She is pregnant with twins and found out there are complications today. She has cried so hard and my heart is broken for her. Please pray that the babies will be healthy. Pray that she will have peace. Thanks. So, when do Baptists start to give up stuff for Lent? Well, this year I am going to try it. I have made half hearted attempts in the past, but I believe a spiritual practice everyday of giving something up will help me experience Easter in a whole new way. Now....what to give up. I remember the year I was pregnant and could barely move was the year Andy gave up XBOX. Man, I was so irritated! I know it is personal. I know it should be something I miss. I think about giving up worry or complaining, but that is cheating in a way. I should give those things up anyway. TV? Radio? Cell Phone? Ughh......I'm sure by Wednesday night it will be clear. Probably more clear than I want. | | |
| The conspiracy....Well, we are finally finding some little places here that feel comfortable. One, is our church. It has taken my many visits to Ecclesia to warm up to it. In the beginning, I really missed the organization. I missed the things that connected me with all the other churches I've attended in my life. Which reminds me, the older we get the more we depend on our fond memories to feed our current spiritual lives.... ANYWAY, it is really rare for me to love a preacher. It is even more rare for Andy and I to still be talking about a preacher a few days after his message! (Without making fun of it ofcourse). So, Chris Seay is really challenging the way I do my life. At this point in my life I feel the urge to drive around a big, comfortable, leather seat SUV. I find comfort in order, consistency, a plan. So, here is the preacher every Sunday morning reminding me in so many ways that there are people dying, starving, suffering, losing and needing. I rolled my eyes at first. I called my church a bunch of hippies for a while. Finally, a couple of Sundays ago the tears started to flow. We are called to be different. We are called to help the smallest, neediest, helpless child. I need to order my life around helping others. In order for Olivia to be different, I need to be different. She will not find grace, mercy and giving by having matching bows on her head every day. I will fail at all of this every day. But, I am at the first stage of being aware that God is trying to change me. I am a slow learner and he realizes that. He is patient with me and uses many ways to teach me. My prayer is to be willing to change, to accept the tender molding. | | |
| Finally, a little break. Because of a stomach virus and Thanksgiving, I have 11 days off from work. At this point, that is exactly what I need.
I plan to get my hair cut into a shape that looks like there was a plan involved. I would like to have a massage and get my nails done. I would also like to sit in Barnes and Noble for about 3 hours and read stupid magazines in between naps. Finally, I want to catch an afternoon movie. All of this has to be done on Monday before I pick up Olivia. The list of things we'll do together is drastically different from the above mentioned.
I have gained a bit of confidence after be argued with, made fun of, laughed at and picked on by 126 high schoolers over the last few months. I'm also not as afraid to confront people. Going head to head (which is never a good idea) with a student who I know is lying, can pull you over to the 'in your face' crowd. If only for a little while. I would not dare call myself a good teacher. I'm better than a baby sitter and probably almost as good as a mildly interesting video game.
Olivia and I have both been sick this week. Have a little 18 month old screaming mommy over and over while throwing up will break any heart. Then it was my turn. I was miserable with the pain, but appreciative of two days of sleep before my break AND 5 pounds off to kick start the new diet!
When I see an entry this long, I tend to skip it. I am tempted to just keep typing to insure no one will read this and it will just be out there. But then what would be the point. I do read the your blogs. I read them in the last 2 min of energy I have at the end of the day. Responding would take too much. But, I'm on break now, so you'll be hearing from me.
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