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jennrocks
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Name: Jenn
Country: United States
State: Oklahoma
Metro: Stillwater
Birthday: 8/4/1985
Gender: Female
Interests: MUSIC, stars, laughing, sarcasm, lightning, driving with the windows down and the music up, sunny days, friends!, cuddling, singing, reminiscing, taking pictures, tattoos, talking, making collages and other random crafts, makeup, nintendo, amaretto sours, movies, my ipod, black & white, post-it notes, beaded necklaces, flip flops, kissing, sweetened & flavored tea, chocolate milk, cappucino/hot chocolate, Braums ice cream,Sonic drinks and slushes, everything bagels, old home videos, making out in the rain, text messaging, french manicures, singing in the car, playing in the snow, discovering new good music, roller coasters, scarves, doggies, kitties, hot showers, clouds, rain, sunsets & sunrises, chocolate, hot tubs, being happy!
Expertise: College and Working
Occupation: Student/Musician
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
9/23/2003
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| Well shit. It's been a long time. I don't even know how to work Xanga anymore! Although I don't have time to update right this second, I will soon. I am still alive
SOOOOOOOOO much to update. It's kind of scary. I probably told myself I was done with Xanga, but hey, we'll see what happens.. Or how long it takes for me to actually update all the stuff I want to.
So.. I guess.. Expect an update. Even if it's 3 months from now :)
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| i would not be alive without music
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| so with break ups come some bad things. but also very good things. first of all, i count on my music as my therapy through break-ups. in the past ive counted on muse for them. now i have to give out a special thanks to incubus and keane. they are my saviors!
the bad things from break-ups:
-i dont have that constant support. i have support from my friends, yes. but support form a significant other is just, different
-part of the support is the "telling the person about your day." i miss having someone i can go home to and tell EVERY DETAIL about my day to. the person that WANTS to hear EVERY DETAIL. i miss that.
-loneliness. although i love my "me" time, going to bed and waking up alone is a lonely feeling. especially when i didnt for 5 months. not even alone as in, by myself, but alone as in, no one is thinking about me right now. you know you have that when youre in a relationship. or you know you WILL see them at some point in the day.
-on campus. breaks by myself, walking to classes by myself and even riding the bus by myself. this is when my music therapy comes into play
the good things from break-ups:
-epiphanies- ive had a lot of them. i WAY analyze things and they make me come to incredible realizations. about myself and the ex boyfriend. i feel like i have a lot figured out and its a good feeling to find a way to accept the break-up. and i have
-friendship- michael and i want to stay friends. hes really the only ex ive wanted so badly to stay friends with. i can still enjoy his company just as a friend and im ok with that. i DO miss seeing him all the time, but the times i do see him make it much easier to be his friend. it was hard the first time, but its getting so much better. if i cant have a relationship with him, i dont want him out of my life
-moving on. looking at other guys. its something i just dont do when im in a relationship. not that im digging for another relationship right away, but i can look right?
-pondering. its what i do best. my favorite thing to do is walk around campus with my music on, looking around and appreciating what i do have. i watched the leaves blow in the wind today for the first time in a long time. (that amazes me by the way) and i took a good look at the stars the other night for the first time in a long time. it makes me really miss summer.
-focus on school. my semester is already going to be crazy. monday i will be on campus from 8:30am till 9:00pm. tuesdays i will be in class at 7:30am and when i get out at 10:15 i will drive to a school to observe, drive back to campus to work, and end up at payless in the evening. lessons and studio wednesday, work every other day (on and off campus) and practicing fits in there somewhere too..
-FRIENDS! its true. i dont see them as often when im in a relationship. mostly because THEY are all in relationships too. but its fine for me to hang out with couples. ive gotten MUCH closer to landra (lance and sandra) and bryssi (bryan and jessi) since michael and i broke up. and im SO thankful for them.
so there are good things too. i learn from every relationship and break up. i learned more with michael than i really have with anyone because we had a good relationship. all my past ones have just been bad. but this one really meant something and ill never forget it. but it also made me realize how hard relationships can really be. it made me realize that both people have to want the same thing for the relationship to work. and in this case, we got along great and were happy, but we wanted different things.
that, i can accept.
ive decided that i have a very complex mind and i want someone that i can share it with.
and that is my post on my break up
p.s. RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS CONCERT FRIDAY! im pretty much excited enough to pee
have a wonderful week/weekend
<3
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| michael and i broke up
and thats all i want to say about it
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