I hate men sometimes.  My father left my mom when I was one after 8 years of marriage and three kids, he just walked away...hasnt cared since.  My brother stephen steals from me and verbally abuses me all the time without a second thought about how i feel. And all my boyfriends I have ever had refuse to be my friend afterwards.  Why cant someone stay in my life? be there for me when i need them?  I know i have girl friends but there is something about the fact that guys dont even bother caring...i wish i knew why. They all say they want to be friends, swear that even though the last one wasnt friends with you doesnt mean they wont...and then they never speak to you again. I am lucky if i get a "hey, how are you?"  I am officially not having another boyfriend for at least a year.  I may date guys....but nothing too emotionally serious.  thats it. finito.

 Okay, I lied...so sue me.  I need to release this stuff.

Start with the good:

Baylor orientation...ROCKED...met people, saw my dorm, learned some chants, signed up for classes, pretty sweet.

Trip to Montana to visit Tess...AMAZING...there was so much fun to be had. The beauty of God's work up there is way too glorious...one of the worlds best kept secrets lies at the end of Sun Point Trail...plus i saw snow...lots of it...in july...amazing i tell ya.

Pretty much ordered all the things im going to need for college...including most my books..

Work is good i guess....just made an oreo cheesecake from scratch for everyone up there.

A guy hit on me at QuikTrip...he was the cashier...bad part: he was 16...lol

Bad:

I went to church today....started feeling very sick.  I dont know why........maybe Jeffrey since he was there?  things dont seem to ever be right with us...i really screwed up.  anyway...i couldnt breath...i feel so alone....................................................am i?............................................................................guess so.....just tired of not having someone, but not ready to truly commit to anyone either......im so freaking complex.  I need a hug....a big one....anyone?.......................................guess not.

Oh, and  I lost my credit card.